Question:
Changes--Please can anyone help me. I'm having surgery in April and getting very scared of

losing my weight and having to deal with people. I've made a life of staying behind my size. I feel like I will go wild or something. Does anyone else think like this or am I crazy. How do I learn how to act? 40 and never even had a date.    — [Anonymous] (posted on March 20, 2000)

March 20, 2000
I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK . I TO HAVE HIDE BEHIND MY WT FOR THE LAST 12YS AND I'M HAVING SURG 5/22 I'M SO SCARED TOO. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOUR NOT ALONE. GOD BLESS YOU. KAREN
   — KAREN J.

March 20, 2000
I'd like to suggest a book, "Feeding The Hungry Heart" by Geenen Roth. Many of us have hidden behind our weight for different reasons. This book helped me to understand those issues and deal with them. Best of luck to you. Don't let your fear keep you from living a healthier life. Best regards, Roseann
   — Roseann M.

March 21, 2000
Your fears are very common. One step you should definitely take, if you haven't already done so, is to join a live or online support group, so you can discuss your fears with others who know exactly what you're feeling. Another is to try to remember that your weight won't fall off all at once. I used to dream that I'd wake up in the recovery room and be slender. Didn't happen, LOL. What has happened is that as I've begun changing on the outside, I've also begun changing on the inside. Not the core me, just how I perceive myself in relation to others. Fortunately, both changes, the physical and mental, occur at the same time. Best of luck to you.
   — Duffy H.

March 21, 2000
I've never hidden behind my weight. I've always perservered, set and met personal and professional goals. However, my weight has been a hindrance for professional advancement, social activity, and interaction with my family. I look forward to "the new me", but I'm going to have to be very careful about my attitude. My confidence is going to soar, and I don't want to come across as self-important or full of myself. However, a few people I have been dealing with lately could probably benefit from a dose! LOL I think we all have to do some soul searching. I'm planning on incorporating a multidisciplinary approach to my weight loss - medical, nutritional, physiological, and psychological. I believe it will be the true path to long-term and lifetime success.
   — [Deactivated Member]

March 21, 2000
Excellent plan, Denise. I wholeheartedly agree. However, I have almost always been "full of myself", regardless of my weight. I am planning on doing some ontological work rather than psychological. Ontology deals more in the realm of "Being" rather than psychology. I am more concerned over who I have been being and who I will be once I lose weight. I have a lot invested in the power, strength, and presence that my physical size grants me. I simply have no concern about being physically over powered or accosted. Will I become one of these car-key gripping, nervous nellie types? Will I still be able to exert the strength of my physical presence when demonstrating authority? My boyfriend assures me I will still be a bitch, no matter how small I get. I just want to make sure I go with whatever shows up as I re-invent who I am being. I also had a tendency to be, well, loose, when I was thinner. Just the girl who couldn't say no (of course, I was heavily influenced by the sexual revolution of the 70's). I have some new standards for myself now that I have a man I love, but that aspect worries me too. Guess I better make use of every resource flung my way... Fondly,
   — merri B.

March 23, 2000
Great postings here!! I, too, have never hidden behind my weight. I hope that I am able to contain myself when the weight loss comes after my surgery on 4/17/00. Is the world truly ready for us??
   — Cheryl R.