Question:
OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL EATING

WELL HI PEOPLE, i am ashamed and embarrassed to say that at 5 months i am struggling over emotional eating...what i am hoping for is to talk to people who did not do well the first number of months of their surgery...who ate poorly who sabatoged them selves....but then learned to be come healthy and actually got to their goal weight...i have lost 92 pound in 5 months but i feel i do not deserve it and know that , i am not even sure if the scale is right caus e i do not have one at home and am using hospital scale...but i am sooo angry at myself that my depression is getting worse and worse, i feel so out of control in my eating and in my life...please tips from those who have gone through it welcome sooooooooooooooo much..HUgs Dawn open rny sept 29th 2003 sw 318 now 226    — sweetdarling_ab (posted on March 5, 2004)

March 5, 2004
Hi, I know how ya feel, I get emotional at times too and want to still turn to food even at a year out, and I am now struggling with the head hunger thing, but I try to eat at least 6 small meals thru out the day to keep me full and drink plenty of liquids. Sometimes we can't help our emotions and want to turn to food, but the best thing to do is to just try not too, and know that may not be much help, and sometimes I can find myself turning to food too, especiaaly when you are depressed, but I know now that this surgery was for a reason for me and that was to get healthy, so I don't beat myself up if I have a snack or two when I am sad but now I just try to weigh my options and not do that too often, also I am on antidepressants for my depression and have been since before surgery so that helps my wanting to emotionally eat also, I mena before surgery I would just turn to food with no problem emotional or not, even if it was under control with medicine most of the time because it took over my life and even wehn I was dieting it still took over my life because wehn I would eat right and lose weight I was happy and tried to stay on the right foods, but then when I was practiacaly starving myself, I would have a snack or two then gain weight so then I got upset and ate poorly again. Sorry for rambling on and on, but now since having surgery I try to make the right choices but sometimes I I don't and try not to beat myself up over it so please try not too and just try to get back with it, and trucst me the antidepressants help so you might want to chck into that too! Good luck to u!
   — Melodee S.

March 5, 2004
Hi Dawn, I started having trouble at 5 months out & at 8 months out still do not feel like I've fixed the problem. I've tried to search for the "magical" fix, think I find it, & fail again. I weigh everyday to make sure I am not gaining. That helps me feel more in control that I haven't gained. I am also working on not beating myself up because I eat something I consider unacceptable. I found I can eat sweets without dumping...big mistake. I hope you can find the answer & the rest of us like you can also learn from it. Anyway...I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I even researched & wrote a paper on tips to get back on track...if only I could abide!!
   — Kathy K.

March 5, 2004
Hi, Dawn. I'm Kim. I had lost 95 pounds, but then I gained 21 back. But now I've lost 6 of those, so I'm at 80 pounds lost. I think it's been extremely important to me to realize that I could turn this setback around, instead of just gaining and gaining. I have not had surgery. I think I am one of the few people that comes to this site regularly that hopes not to have surgery. Anyway, I struggle all the time self-sabotage and fear of success. I talk about it a lot in my profile. My loss has been very slow. I know that I can control my eating much better when my anti-depressants are really working, and I can't control it at all if they are not. I started at 385 and am now at 305. So I still have far to go. I admire very much those who have had surgery. I'm so afraid of it, and so afraid that it wouldn't work for me, that I have lost weight hoping to avoid it. If that makes sense. I wish you all the luck in the world. I know that there are many of us fighting the daily battle against self-sabotage. So don't feel alone.
   — Kim A.

March 5, 2004
Congrats you have done well. If your depressed see your PCP. But in the mean time try exercise. Get out and walk walk walk, or find something else that uses lots of calories. Not only will you help your loss but it just might help your mood. At least it does for ME.. Try a couple hours a day of vigirous exercise walking, cleaning the house FAST, take the dog or a neighbors dog for a long fast walk. The added exercise will help your weight loss, and sometimes helps our bodies produce the natural chemicals to help our mood. <P> I feel bad I havent been answering many questions lately. I have been so busy I have kept up with the moderating chores like approving questions but have had little time to answer any. For that I am sorry.
   — bob-haller

March 5, 2004
Congrats on your loss thus far. Please don't feel shame/failure. You have done wonderful and you will pick yourself up/dust your rear and get back into the saddle! First you need to see your Dr for your depression. A must! You sound like all of us obese (no longer) persons, that begin a diet and falther a few months down the road. We've all been there and done that. We all have felt the humiliation/embarrasement/self failure. This is only my feelings.... I got help before my surgery. I saw a therapist for 6 months(several times a month. I knew deep down what my problem was and how it all tied in to food. I ate to surpress my pain/hurt all those past years and i thought I could someday bring myself to finally love me inside & out. I was molested as a child and kept the hurt/pain/guilt my intire life. Not wanting my parents to know. A child of 4-5 with heartaches and sense of guilt on my part. Years of being thin to finally becoming obese, I never liked or loved me. I ate for comfort and used food as a crutch/best friend. I didn't want to look good, but I didn't want to be obese! My husband knew my secret, but no one else, till I decided only a skilled therapist could help me deal with my deep seeded problems. Six months after seeing her I walked out a new person! I have overcome my feelings of guilt. It wasn't only me molested, there were 16 others(cousins)Our grandfather had been doing this to his daughters/grandaughters for years. By confronting my cousins one by one and my mother/aunts, per instructions from therapist did our lives finally begin. Thank God! Food was not something I loved, except to hide my pain/suffering by feeding the hurt. Once you rid yourself of the pain you overcome the need to eat. S o true. Granted we all have things in our life, that cause us heartache/hardship/pain. Knowing when to seek help and knowing we can not always fix our own problems...sometimes we need help! I walked away positive to go forth with my surgery and have not falthered since. Understanding this surgery is a tool only. We have to make it work/success. Sticking to healthy choices from the onset & high protein/water/vits/exercise is a winning combination in more ways than one. Great health/great labs/weightloss/muscle & tone just to mention a few. The feeling that you have control of food is overwhemling. I no longer look at food as a pre op. I eat to live rather live to eat. I take respnsiblity for what goes in my mouth. I am to blame if it's healthy or not. I'm almost 13 months post op and I still eat as I did my 4th month. I journal daily my food/proteins/exercise. I only weigh/measure once a month. I attens monthly support meetings w/o fail. I will only feel like I've succeeded, if I remain at goal 5 years up the road. It's up to me! I'm 54 and have lost 111 pounds/84+ inches and have been to goal by my 9th month. Exercise has been my main key, only after protein/water/vits to get me where I'm at today. I will remain on this course, because I love the way I feel & look. Good Luck to you. You can do it....
   — Hazel S.

March 6, 2004
Hi Dawn, I'm in your shoes right now, hon. Don't despair!I had my surgery 8/25 last year. I'm down to 312 from 468! That sounds really good, and it is, but the last month has had me plateauing, I think, for the first time. I've been beating myself up over it for a couple of days now, trying to get back control. Here's the points that jump out at me. 1. passing up on dangerous foods was easier when I was still scared of them. Finding out I don't dump from sugar was the worst thing that could have happened. Now I'm trying to get back to remembering how long it will take me to work off a girl scout cookie on the treadmill! That's the best deterrent for me. 2. I'm suddenly alone all the time lately. It was easier to refrain when I had my husband, who was on leave for 2 months, around to keep me occupied and on the straight and narrow. Do you have someone close by to support you on that? Is there anything you really like to do that you could fill your time with? 3. 5-6 months really is pretty normal to start feeling these things. Your pouch is starting to be able to handle more food. It was easier to avoid emotional eating when you couldn't overdo it. 4. Guilty as I am, I know I really haven't been doing as much physical activity as I should have. I was really lucky having the pounds just drop off without much effort before. It's time to roll my sleeves up. 5. I keep reminding myself that this surgery has a certain window of opportunity. If I indulge in bad habits right now, I'm wasting the benefits of this surgery, and I am really ENJOYING the benefits here. I feel better than I have in 10 years or so. I start to have cravings now, and I've started trying to think really hard about what it felt like to be trapped in my dying body, and all the humiliation that came with it. That usually does it. 6. Most importantly, I realized that this plateau and the munchies I've been constantly having coincide with when I was a month off my antidepressants. They take about a month to get out of your system entirely. So I had turned back to medicating my mood through food. Depression and eating is a viscious cycle, and it sounds like you're back where I found myself...a depression and emotional eating battle. You eat because of your emotions, and your emotions are effected by your eating. You might want to see your dr. about anti-depressants, at least in the short run, and maybe a counselor? I had one who specialized in health concerns, and she was great. Mind you, I'm not saying you're nuts or anything!:) Only that it can be a huge help to talk to someone who is familiar with the kind of thing you're going through. You might be surprised how normal it is. So in conclusion, work out, get busy in life, concentrate on the benefits of surgery and not wasting it, and find yourself a buddy! I'd be more than happy to volunteer! Here's hoping we both get control back! Best of luck!
   — christied

March 7, 2004
Hello, I as well have issues with eating things at five months out. I learn that I can eat sweats with not ill effects. When I read your post I felt like I was reading about myself. But I have lost only 50 pounds in five months starting at 240. I have come off all meds. You would think that would kep me on the straight and narrow. My next step is to seek help with the head part on my emotional eating. I don't want to fail. I wish you luck with you weight loss journey. I think that 6-8 months of counseling should be in order before or shortly after wls is done. I am on anti-depression meds but maybe I need something else. I didn't have issues with depression before my wls. Good Luck Donna Shelton
   — Donna S.

March 7, 2004
Dawn I think you are really being too hard on yourself. First you have admitted that you are an emotional eater. That requires finding a therapist who deals with eating disorder as well as a nutritionist who can help you identify your "trigger" foods and emotions. You have lost a lot of weight and you are not hiding the fact that you might have problem by telling a bunch of strangers. One thing is to learn to keep foods that at not high in fat or carbs in the house - low carbs foods as snacks may help and even learning to eat foods you thought you hated (my taste has changed since WLS). Besides if you don't like a food that much you will eat less.
   — Anna M.