Question:
Is it normal to have a fear that I am going to mess something up?

I am five months post-op, down 115 pounds. I am very pleased with my results, but still have approximately 70 pounds to go. I had a holiday luncheon at work yesterday and was able to eat more than usual before feeling full. I probably ate a total of six (?) ounces before feeling full, and then 'snacked' on the leftovers later. The first question that went through my mind after I ate was, have I stretched my pouch? Then I had a little prayer meeting with myself for snacking! Is it normal to have fears about messing it all up? I still do not feel hunger, but I do have the desire to eat now, which was gone for several months. I guess I just need some encouragement on how to keep my head in the game, and not worry so much. One more thing, what about carbonated diet drinks? My surgeon has not told me no, and so I have indulged a few times, but I am fearful about the carbonation...Thanks for the support!    — Melissa H. (posted on December 17, 2003)

December 16, 2003
You are doing fine. I also lost about 110 lbs at 5 months. I started at 304 and I am now 152 (at 10 mo post). It takes a lot of consistent overeating to stretch your pouch. One incident of eating 6 ounces is NOT going to hurt your pouch (might make you feel ill, but that's about it). As far as the carbonation, my doctor doesn't recommend it, but I do have a diet Dr. Pepper here and there, usually if there is no other alternative or I just don't feel like water. I think that people just don't know if carbonation stretches the pouch long term, so they are cautious. I couldn't even tolerate carbonation until about a month ago.. it just made me burp and feel icky. Good luck and congrats on your success so far!
   — SarahC

December 16, 2003
I doubt you have messed anything up. Personally in your situation I would KNOWLINGLY GRAZE for special holidays with the item it will NOT be a regular thing. This gives me the freedom to enjoy those nice times throughout the year such as Easter, Mothers Day, Birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. By grazing you can enjoy these times and it makes the food pigouts we will never have again, alittle easier to take. Please understand I am NOT endorsing grazing. If grazing was a regular thing we CAN and some DO put their weight back on again. But if you use your head (not your emotions) to plan out a few special occasions per year to enjoy then you should do fine. I weigh every day as I don't want to chance putting my weight back on. (Open RNY 5-8-01). Thankfully I'm only a pound over my lowest post op weight. :) Never made it to goal, but one goal has been not to gain more than 10 pounds after the loss stopped. So I'm thankful. As far as carbonated drinks, you have to do what YOU think is right. Personally I'd never give them up. I do drink diet MOST everytime. I put artificial sweetner in to take out most of the fiz and make it sweeter like regular. It works for me, but for other perhaps it would'nt. I thought I could NEVER give up regular pop and have. But if I have to give up diet too, and take away the one remaining joy in my life then to $%@! with it! I may as well not have had WLS if I have to give everything up. That's a diet. And diets I've done since 1978 and they did'nt work. ALL THINGS IN MODERATION. Use my mind, not emotional eating. Then enjoy a few grazing days. Should I not be able to control it, then I would'nt do it. As I hurt no one but myself. Only you know if you can KNOWINGLY deviate from the wls eating ways for a few occations. Personally, I was NEVER short on will power. Heck I fasted for 7-10 days often and was starving the whole time. I have will power so I can enjoy a few "naughty days". lol If you can, then go for it! Just don't do it often! GOOD LUCK! :)
   — Danmark

December 17, 2003
I'm a little over a year out and I still worry that I messed up. I think we always will. We all have our good days and bad days. Dont let anyone tell you that they did/do EVERYTHING perfect cause it aint gonna happen. We are human and will make mistakes. I think that as long as you KNOW when you have your moments and you dont let it happen all the time just now and then, you will be just fine. Besides 6 oz. is not bad. If you have a bad day, make yourself follow the rules to a T the next few days. I have carbonated drinks (Fresca) once in a while and its hasnt hurt me at all. My surgeon said ok as long as it wasnt every day and it didnt cause me any discomfort. Again, just dont do it all the time. Put it in a glass over lots of ice and let it go "flat" a little. By being aware of what you did and asking your question, I think your head is in the game and you are doing great. Enjoy the holidays! ~Sidney~ Open RNY 10-23-02 down 130+ and under goal
   — Siddy I.

December 17, 2003
<b>Hi, First I must say congratulations on your great wt loss. keep it up. pre-op 400 lbs. I'm 12 months now wt loss 170 lbs. I think everyone should have that fear, For me it keeps me on my toes. and it has helped me to get were I am today. I always keep a positive attitude it helps to keep you on track. also I think you should ask yourself if you really want the carbonated drinks, or do you just miss it. I think if you can do away with those old bad habits, then let them stay gone and continue on adding good foods that will keep you at your goal weight when you do reach it. Good luck. I have about 70 more lbs to go also. I'm headed that way fast. 150 here I come. LOL Hang in there</b>
   — Naes Wls J.

December 17, 2003
Yup, it's normal to be worried about messing up. We're obese people inside forever, even after we lose some or all of our weight, and we will *always* have issues with food. It's just a lot easier to deal with those issues without all the extra weight on top of it too. ;-)<P>On keeping your head in the game ... accept that you will mess up from time to time. Get back on the wagon of good eating (protein first!) and exercise habits. As long as you're mostly on that wagon, the occasional little "frolic and detour" won't kill ya. What's nice about WLS is how much easier it is to get back on, and STAY, on the wagon, at least, most of the time.<P>On carbonation: I'm not sure there's anything bad about the carbonation, per se. However, the caffeine in those drinks isn't good for your bones (it helps leach calcium out of them, which we don't need give that we don't absorb calcium very well anymore as RNY post-ops). Also, frankly, I find those drinks to be acidic, and I know that's not good for my pouch. Who needs to feel they've contributed to getting an ulcer in the pouch? Plus, there's the kidney stone issue. The more you drink stuff like diet colas, the less water you drink, and the harder your kidneys have to work. It's not unusual for post-ops to develop kidney stones, which I understand are no "day at the beach" to have.<P>Having said that, I do have a diet cola every now and then (maybe half of one), but I have to add that I wasn't doing it as early post-op as you are. (I found that I pushed the envelope a lot more after reaching goal than I did before, and if you gotta do envelope-pushing, that's the time to wait to do it.) Bottom line, I guess if your surgeon is telling you to lay off of them, I'd try to do so for the time being.
   — Suzy C.

December 17, 2003
Melissa, I suspect that you "overate" because you were enjoying the company and didn't pay as close attention to what you were eating as you normally do. Don't worry about it. You are doing great. There is no way in the world that 6 oz of food and even grazing a bit can do great harm. I'm sure if you look at your actual caloric count for the day, it still wasn't excessive. Just take it easy and enjoy the season.
   — lharbison

December 17, 2003
I just wanted to thank you for asking this question! I too, had a Christmas party yesterday and went totally off the wagon. I am just happy to know I am not the only one! Sometimes I feel like everyone else on this site is so perfect, it makes me feel like a failure. So, thank you everyone! Happy Holidays...Kate (open 5/2/03 -112)
   — Kate C.

December 17, 2003
I know what you mean. I went to a party last year and grazed my way through the party (and I'm not normally a grazer!), I stuck my finger in fudge crumbs, every time I walked by (and that was a LOT of times, lemme tell you), ended up eating several pioeces of fudge during the evening. Yes, me, the no milk, no sugar person. I lost my mind is all I can tell you. I had a lil chat with myself on the way home that night. The next day, I did 8 protein drinks and only salad for solid food to break the hold those carbs had on me, and ate similarly for 3 days. I didn't have to stay down after falling off the wagon so utterly. I picked me up and got back on the wagon with a seatbelt (protein drinks) and that got me thru it. And I have not done that this year at all. The difference between pre-op and now is that we CAN get back on the wagon, the wt gain CAN be reversed, the damage CAN be undone if it's done quickly. In the olden days, we thought all hope was lost. Now, there is still hope, even when we are face down in the mud.
   — vitalady