Question:
WHY CAN'T I DO THAT
It is Saturday afternoon, and here I am holed up in my apt. watching the TV. Ever since I have decided to have the WLS I have been ultra aware of how much life I am missing. I saw a show about a festival, everyone was sooo happy and having fun..... I cant do that, if I walk more than a few yards, i loose my breath and my asthema kicks in. I have become so AWARE of my limitations being 415 lbs. and I find myself depressed. Little everyday things I cant do .... my mother who is 75 has a more active life than i do. I am so sick of being fat and not mobile. My friends want me to go to an open casting for a revival of the musical HAIR.... opps I cant. I dont have anything to wear. I am sooo tired of it. I cant even go to the show cause i do not fit in the seat. OH MY GOD HOW LONG CAN I TAKE THIS. How do i know it will get better. I am sooo low today.... HAPPY LABOR DAY, (YA RIGHT) — Tica G. (posted on September 1, 2001)
September 1, 2001
You are me, 1994. Last Labor Day, no hope, no health, no breath in my
lungs. Got my approval 9/29 and was DONE and on the road to freedom by
10/5. My bday is 10/15, so what a NICE present. There is HOPE. Much
hope. This gives you a chance to be SURE that this is the road you want to
walk. This may help with the post-op blues. I don't think I had any.
Something about havin working lungs again that made it hard to be
depressed. There has never been a food I missed as much as I missed the
breath in my lungs. But this way, you have time to think, ponder, what if,
and get the confidence you need to proceed without terror. Normal fear,
sure, but not terror.
— vitalady
September 1, 2001
Dear Tica,
What you are going through is normal. But, at least you're doing something
to change it. I know how hard it was to get out and enjoy life. Make a
weight loss surgery buddy. Go to meetings. Go to the park. I realize
none of this is going to help 100% but it certinaly can't hurt right?
— [Anonymous]
September 1, 2001
HI, hang in there because I know how you feel. I go days at a time deep in
my own thoughts about my weight which is 295. I have always been obese and
I am waiting to approval from my insurance company. I too have missed out
so much in my life and life with my kids who are 8 and 10. I have no
energy and I hate it. I want to LIVE again!! I want to DO DO DO! I want
to be able to buy something in a regular store. Hang in there, we will
soon be on our journey to the other side! God Bless!
— Denise R Armstrong
September 1, 2001
I think a lot of us know where you are coming from. I'm only 20 and I feel
very much left out of life as well. My friends go to clubs, they can shop
at Abercrombie and Fitch (lol) and I shop at Lane Bryant and I only wear
long sleeve shirts and long black pants (ever since the 4th grade because
I've been so embarassed about the way I look). I wouldn't dare go swimming
in public, didn't go to prom, barely made it to graduation, etc etc. We've
all got our stories, right? But feel good about one thing. You are at
least on the road to doing something about it. I have a lot of obstacles
in my way (family, distance, my lack of ability to put school on hold) and
every day I see what I'm missing and it upsets me a lot. I haven't even
gone to a consult with a surgeon yet. I know sometimes we just get in a
rut and dwell on the negative, but it will get better because you are on
the right track. And now a few words of wisdom from my dad: "You
can't feel your way into a new way of acting but you can(and must) act your
way into a new way of feeling". You're on the road! Be proud and
thank God for every day :)
— [Anonymous]
September 1, 2001
Dear Tica, I know exactly how you feel. Many, if not most of us have
experienced this depression. Last Labor Day, I was recuperating from my
surgery. I think I went to my mom in laws with my pureed/soft food. (My
surgery was August 21st). I was 250 lbs. and extremely uncomfortable.
Well, this Labor Day weekend, I am unpacking from the last two weeks.
During these two weeks that my hubby and I have been on vacation, we have
gone to Great Adventure (I went on most of the rides), horseback riding,
row boating, swimming in public, water parks, walked over 25 miles on the
boardwalk on the Jersey Shore, more rides, and hung out on the beach, (in a
bikini top I might add). We had such a wonderful time! Today I weigh
about 135-140 lbs. I am 5-10 lbs away from goal, wearing a size 6! I
can't tell you how happy we are. This summer NEVER would have been
possible without last summer's surgery. I wouldn't ever give that up in a
billion years! Moral of my story: Getting out with friends, enjoying
swimming in public, doing all the things that I mentioned earlier are all
possible... In one year my life has changed so dramatically. And you are
on your way. Don't give up because there is help. God bless you and look
towards your happy future!
— Jeannet
September 1, 2001
Please write us next Labor Day. I'm sure you'll be a new Woman!!!! Go to
the before/after pics. They always help me!!
— Cindee A.
September 2, 2001
I've been in the same boat as you for the past 20 years! I felt I wasn't
living & let my weight prevent me from doing things I'm sure would've
been enjoyable. It's great not having to think twice about doing fun
things. Good luck in your journey...the waiting is really hard. AND don't
let your friends talk you out of your decision. Only you can decide what is
best for YOU.
— Lori_B
October 24, 2001
Hey Tica! Doesn't it feel good to know that you're not alone, or the only
one who has/will feel this way? We've all been there. I've lost over 200
pounds in the last two years and am to the point that I CAN do all that I
wanted. It IS wonderful. You have so much to look forward to! It's not
the easiest road to go down, the first time I went to the grocery store
after my surgery, I stood looking at a bottle of ketchup, saw it had more
than two grams of sugar and started BAWLING LIKE A BABY. I left my cart,
went to the car and thought my life was over! Ha! It had only begun, and
For the better. As the others have said, you adjust and nothing,
absolutely NO FOOD is worth missing out on the life you will have. You'll
be ok. Honest! YOU are taking control of YOUR life and your destiny. That
takes courage, strength and determination, and it feels REALLY, REALLY
GOOD. Congratulations on your decision, Tica, and hang in there. Your new
life is around the bend!!!
— tammy R.
January 12, 2002
I know exactly where Tica is coming from. I too, have no social life,
don't go out much because of the way I perceive others perceiving me. Does
that make sense? It was so good for me to read the postings on this matter.
I'm waiting for my Dr. office to process the paperwork for approval. I
need to get my life together and join the human race again and its not
going to happen with me sitting here on my fat butt brooding that I'm so
lonely. I know that once I have the surgery and begin to lose the weight,
my self esteem will begin to return.
— Mary C.
January 12, 2002
I also relate to how you feel Tica. I also wanted to add that for me this
loss of "living life" happened in stages at 200 lbs I was still
ok. I still liked to go out and do things and had most of my mobility and
abilty too do things. The looks of disgust from strangers were minimal
from people who were clearly profectionist. At 250 I started not wanting
to be seen in public my good looks were truely disappearing into my fat and
those strangers were making more faces at me. I couldn't physically do as
much but could still do what need to be done usually without pain. For
important occations I was still willing and able to get out there. Now at
290 sometimes for me atleast its a matter of can't. I can't pick up my
daugherter and carry her around any more even though she doesn't even
weight 40 lbs. When I was only 200 lbs I could still carry around a 70lb
child if I wanted to. Those strangers openly look at me with disgust not
even trying to hide it if they see me looking back at them. I can't bare
to be seen in public most of the time and have missed a lot of life. I am
getting uncomfortably snug in those theater seats. I get exhausted going
through the grocerie store, it takes me twice the time that it used to and
my body hurts when I get home. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I
know there is for me, I hope it is there for you also.
— Jennifer H.
January 27, 2002
I know exactly how you feel. I am only 19 years old and I weight 350
pounds. I have decided to go ahead with open RNY. I know how hard it is but
in the same breath, I know that my life can and will change. Once I get
this surgery done, my life it going to be better. Hang in there. You are
not alone.
God Bless
— Sarah K.
April 11, 2005
I know it's hard to be overweight but with the surgery I can now look at
the positive side of life. I've lost 38 pounds and can fit into clothes I
thought I'd never wear again. It's still hard because I want the weight to
come off real fast but then I remember that IT WILL COME OFF if I just give
it a chance. I know in my heart that one day I'll be just a shadow of my
former fat self and it makes me smile and cry. You'll get there and you'll
be happier that ever with the new you. God Bless. Keep me posted.
Karyn
— Zimpo
Click Here to Return