Question:
I won the insurance battle but now I'm lost

Coming out of major lurk mode. WEll I found out Monday that after 12 weeks of waiting I am approved and my date is 09-14-01 9am. The insurance while not a night mare was a fiasco. I spent nine weeks waiting, calling every other day only to be told it was still in review. Finally I get a call from the ins co on my caller ID. When I called back they did not know what they wanted. I flew of the handle and said some pretty strong stuff. I was transfered many times and finally reached someone who told me my paperwork had been in the wrong dept this whole time, so the correct people had not even seen it...More dirty words and I got the fax number to the 2 people who do obesity approval. Faxed it over and here it is 3 weeks later have an approval. Its great dont get me wrong but now I feel so.....purpose-less. I almost miss the calling begging and waiting on insurance because now there is nothing to do but mark off each of the 79 days till surgery. Can I be this passive after 3 months of almost daily fighting w/ ins? Am I crazy to feel this way? Everyone is so excitied for me. I am pretty blah about it. I mean I'm happy but not bouncing off the walls. My coworkers are more excited than I am. WHY? I've spent the last yr working towards this. Can any of you give me any advice on how to get back in the swing of things. Thanks. Jennifer 415 lbs, 25 yrs old Enjoying the first week child free I've had since I became a single mom 4 yrs old :)    — Jennifer H. (posted on June 29, 2001)

June 28, 2001
Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, Jennifer! You obviously have a lot of energy and enthusiasm for things that you feel strongly about. In light of the fact that your life is about to go through a huge change, maybe you can find a way to channel that energy. Maybe you've discovered that you're incredibly good at getting things done - I'm sure some people don't have the stomach (pardon pun, not intended) for dealing with insurers or people in authority. This could be a whole new career for you! I don't mean to make light of it at all, so relax and enjoy your victory, and possibly you'll come up with a way to use your enthusiasm to help others. Good luck!
   — scottiemaam O.

June 28, 2001
Although my response was similar to yours, I guess my perspective was different. Once my insurance approved the surgery, it was such a tremendous release; I just let all of the stress, worry and obsession go, and returned to my normal life. I did remind myself along the way of things like "this is the last May you will ever spend as a hopelessly obese woman!" Part of my reaction was a nagging pessimism that something would go wrong, and I did not want to be all excited and have it come to nothing. Until I woke up from surgery, I did not feel 100% sure my surgery would go through. Enjoy this time of less stess - you're body will appreciate it! - Kate -
   — kateseidel

June 29, 2001
Jennifer for me the approval was a relief but then it was like an anti-climax. I had spent my time on pins and needles waiting for this and then nothing!!!! I had major mood swings until surgery, I think basically I must have been in shock...LOL...and just went through the motions.
   — Mandy M.

June 29, 2001
Hi Jennifer, I am going to play (very)amateur psychologist here. Please excuse me... Anyway, I think there may be a couple of issues hitting you at once. You have been so focused and active in getting your insurance approved, that now your life seems too "quiet" and then on top of this to be without your child who you have taken care of very admirably for 4 years. These two things together may seem like you have no "purpose" right now. That you are not "needed". I hope this doesn't sound too dramatic. I really do see that your insurance approval coming on top of the absence of your child has maybe magnified both. As a mother, I am used to taking care of everyone's needs (and wants!). I am not sure how I would occupy myself, if I weren't taking care of someone else. By all means, I hope that you are using this time to pamper yourself and enjoy your quiet times. When your child returns, you will be full of energy and refreshed-ready to continue to be that wonderful caretaker you are!!
   — Shelley.

June 29, 2001
Hi Jennifer, you're not crazy. I felt the same way after my 8-week fight with the insurance company was over. For a few days I felt lost, didn't know where to turn and had this feeling like I'm suppose to be doing something but I had nothing to do. No phone calls to make, nothing to fax, no calls from my ins co requesting more info and no more fighting denials. It was all over. I wasn't working either so I was totally obsessed with the ins approval process. I had to try to focus my energy elsewhere and maybe you should do the same. Although your surgery date is still sometime away, prepare as much as you can for it. You can also become a volunteer if you have the time and are not yet one, there's always more WLS research that you can do and so many other things to do to occupy your time. Hope this helps.
   — dandjon

June 29, 2001
Yes...I remember what that was like. Fighting the insurance company was awful...but the "waiting game" that comes after was ten times worse. At least when you were actively battling for approval you were busy and you had a purpose/mission/goal. Now you have to just sit and wait and the waiting is really dreadful. If I had it to do over again, I would do my waiting differently. I would spend more of that time preparing myself physically for the surgery. The patients who do the best with surgery...suffer least pain and fewer complications and go home from the hospital the quickest...are those who were the strongest going in. If you could possibly begin some kind of exercise program...swim, walk, yoga classes, whatever fits into your life now, you will probably heal quicker and do better in the long run. And don't forget to breathe! Very healthy lungs and the ability to take big, full breaths is so important in recovery. Even just sitting quietly and doing some simple yoga breathing exercises would really help to prepare you. That's my suggestion. Best of luck to you and I hope the time passes quickly.
   — Anne G.