Question:
Hai rloss... STILL. Depressed. Weight gain. Losing my mind.

Hi all. I can't believe I found this site. I'm at a total loss. I am frightened of what's going on with my body, and doctors can't seem to pinpoint what's wrong. I had a VBG in 1996. Before the VBG, I ate horribly and I didn't exercise. I was 330lbs. I lost 95lbs. in the first year. Then the weight loss simply stopped. I exercised... a lot. I was very careful about what I ate and probably consumed no more than 1000 calories a day. Through exercise alone, I lost an additional 25lbs. during the next year. The hardest 25 lbs. ever. And that stopped. Meanwhile, I was slowly losing my hair. Looking back, it's hard to tell when the hair loss started. I thought I noticed some loss when I was 21. But it didn't become really noticeable until a few years ago. But I was still able to go to the hairdresser and disguise the thinning parts. Now, the situation is horrible. Beyond my worst nightmares. First of all, I got pregnant when I weighed about 220. I gained 45 lbs with the pregnancy. My hair was wonderful during pregnancy. It stopped coming out. I wasn't finding clumps of it all over me. 3 months post-partum, it came out again, which I know is normal. That slowed. But since Nov 2000, it has picked up worse than I can ever remember. I am only 28. I've gone to endocrinologists (it's not htyroid... it's not hormonal). I've gone to dermatologists. They did a scalp biopsy and said it was genetic. Even as I write this at 1:00 am, I see hair all over my shoulders from falling out. Anyway, I have always told all the doctors about the VBg and asked whetehr this has to do with it. Everyone says no. I know that can't be. But my degree of loss is extreme. I need a wig now, and I don't know what I'll look like in 10 or 20 years. It's bad enough being fat, but now I am bald. I am suicidal. I am so upet, and I have nowhere to turn. I moved to a new place 2 years ago, and i don't know anyone. The doctors think I am nuts. I went to the ER a month ago with chest pains, and all the dr. could comment on was my hair loss. Meanwhile, I lost 20 lbs. right after giving brth, but I can't lose one more pound. Not one. I have stayed at 243 for 15 months now. I exercise rigorously 3x a week. I can eat a lot more now. i suspect my staple line ruptured. In fact, I called the office where the VBG was doen, and they told me they found that 40% of the VBGs they did ruptured during pregnancy, and they don't know why. Even though I can eat whatever now, I still try to watch it. Example: Today, I had a grilled chikend sandwich and a light salad with fat free dressing fro dinner. And I exercised. And just now, I got on the scale and saw I gained 3 lbs. HOW? Also, I always feel bloated now. I don't know if this is from the pregnancy and scar tissue combiend or what. Anyway, my hair loss continues to be excessive. I take a B-complex. I t get B-12 shots (they found I was deficient in B-12 after I asked what vitamins would have problems being absorbed if there were scar tissue. Sure enough, I was deficient in B-12). I take zinc daily. I take a multivitamin. There are 80-year old men who have mroe hair than me. It's stupid to be so vain, but I am so despondent about how out of control I feel. And again, doctors have no answers for me. I really, really, really think the surgery has a lot to do with the hair loss, but why now, after 4 years, has it picked up so suddenly? Is there any vitamin I am missing? Does this sound fmailir to anyone? Any ideas? And any ideas why I can't lose one mroe pound? As bad as my metablism was before pregnancy, it is worse now. And it is nice to hear success stories, but I am so jealous of women who lose 50 lbs. post-op in 2 months. It took me 6 months to lose 50 lbs... and that was with surgery. That's the amount of time most people can lose it on a diet without surgery. Why is my body so screwed up? I just want to lay down in a ditch and die sometimes. That's horrible, but it is the turth. That's why, instead of sleeping, I am here posting this. I can't sleep. I am too upset. Please post your advice. I appreicate it. Thanks for reading this far.    — Jen M. (posted on March 23, 2001)

March 22, 2001
Well, let me say I am no pro at answers. I just want to give you my thoughts on the situation. First off, your body has been through an awful lot in the past several years with the wls, pregnancy and postpartum. That, in combination with your genetic disposition to thinning hair is probably the reason for the hair problem. I do know of a vitamin at Walmart called 'Hair' (they also have one for nails) I took it for a couple of months before my surgery and it helped tremendously with my hair, maybe you could try it. Secondly, it does sound like the wls you have had has gotten messed up. I would sugest you find a good, skilled Doctor to revise your procedure either to the same thing you had or, it sounds like a distal RNY surgery would help you tremendously. Lastly, I know how you feel about not wanting to live. I have been there many times. As hard as it is, try to remember that you have a beautiful baby you would be leaving behind and as much as you think your child would be better off without you- it wouldn't. When I was going through a time like yours God and my children were the only thing that kept me from ending it all. I hope this helps you some. Please feel free to email me if you would like~
   — Stephanie E.

March 22, 2001
Your first sentence reveals a lot. You said you couldn't believe you found this site. You are feeling lost and overwhelmed and you can get help here. This site has a lot of caring people who would love to be able to help you. Of course, we are not doctors, psychiatrists, or nutrition experts but we have been through WLS surgery. I am post op 4 most open rny and my hair is falling out too but I added biotin to my supplements and it seems to be helping. You must take a deep breath and analyze what is going on in your life. If you are getting your protein and supplements in, exercising regularly, and watching your calorie intake you are doing what you need to do for wt loss/maintenance. Don't panic and try to not worry about the hair loss. Your hair will come back more than likely. You should probably see a dietician to make sure your eating plan is good. If this is not possible, try to follow the hi protein, low carb plan with about 1,000 - 1,200 calories a day. Try to eat healthy and not worry too much about hair loss and losing wt. Your emotional state can affect your physical health but eating properly is a step in the right direction to get control of this situation. Please don't consider suicide an option. Life is so precious and your life can become what you want it to be. Being obese is not worth ending your life over! Hair loss can be "fixed" with a wig or just wearing a hat temporarily. Lots of people wear hats after chemo for long periods of time. Life is much more precious than what we look like! Take control of your situation and see a doctor about the WLS surgery. If your have disrupted, it is not the end of the world but in order to get where you want to go you need to find out exactly where you are. Get all the facts in order and then do what you need to do. First step, see a doctor who can help you find out where you are. God bless you and keep you. And remember GOD loves you and you have friends who care right here on AMOS site.
   — Marilyn C.