Question:
Pregnant and Scared

Most of you on here have probably already read my pageat some time or another. I had a miscarriage last year - just 10 weeks after surgery. But what I did not put on there was that that was not the first it was the third in 5 years. Friday I realized I had not had my period and I bought a pregancy test just to calm my fears - hoping on one had it was negative and on the other that it was postive. Well the thing changed so quicly that I was not even given the full test minute to contemplate. IT WAS POSTIVE!...I almost fell off the toilet. I want to have this bay but I am afraid that I will loose it again. I cannot be more than 2 to 4 weeks and I cannot get to the doctor until Friday. I am very scared and I am not afraid to admit it. I also am wondering how my heartwill fare thru this pregnancy. I dreamed last night I was on the delivery table and as they said push - Ihad a heart attact. That is where I woke up. I know I sound paranoid but I AM.. and I just do not know what to do, what to think or how to feel. Can someone please reassure me that things will be fine? I know in reality you can not but any input wold be greatly appreciated. And if Icross poston the borads please do not email me to tell me - I already know. I just need help and any information I can get from this group would be greatly appreciated.    — anitawilson (posted on December 11, 2000)

December 11, 2000
Oh, Anita! First suggestion: get yourself to an OB-GYN who specializes in high risk pregnancies. Make sure you take a copy of your medical file from your bariatric surgeon. Here is the absolute truth: you will either carry this one or you won't. You can do everything you can, and it still may not work out. However, doing all you can will give you a better chance of a better outcome. Good Luck to you and the new lil' one! Merri
   — merri B.

December 11, 2000
Anita, I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted you to know I am praying for you and your baby:)
   — M B.

December 11, 2000
Anita ~ I can only offer my support and prayers for you and your family. I hope this is a successful pregnancy for you! Don't under estimate the power of prayer, you've got a terrific band of support here and we'll all be praying for you. God bless and good luck! Let me know if you need anything at all. :-)
   — Stephanie D.

December 11, 2000
Hi Anita, I am pregnant now too, just getting into my second trimester. This is my third baby, and just like the other two, I spent my first three months worrying about whether the pregnancy would last. Worrying does no good, because you really can't control whether you miscarry or not, but of course we all worry anyway. I have nightmares too, and I guess that is very common during pregnancy. It is normal to be worried and anxious, and the best things you can do is get yourself a doctor you really trust to reasure you that everything is medically ok, and get the support of other women who are also having these challenging pregnancies. Please sign on at e-groups to ossg-pregnant <br>http://www.egroups.com/group/OSSG-pregnant<br> You will find a great group of women on there who have had many of the same problems as you, and who can understand what you are going through. Good Luck!
   — Lynn K.

December 11, 2000
I just wanted to thank everyone that has responded to my post. It helps a great deal to see all the support that I have.
   — anitawilson

December 11, 2000
Anita, Congrats!! After trying for nine years to have a child (Sebastian is 21 months now), I know what you are going through. You want this baby so bad you could lay down and die, but you don't want the pain associated with this child (memories are very hard to blank out of our minds). Please search out a doctor that specializes in this problem (miscarriages). You could have an auto immune problem and there is a Dr. Beer in Chicago that deals with this problem. There are several on-line resources, my favorite being www.fertilethoughts.net - it is wonderful. There is also www.inciid.org, another wonderful source for information and tons (I mean tons) of support. I wish you all the best!! I have been there and please do not hesitate to email me at ANY time for ANY reason!!! [email protected] God does wonderous things for ALL of us, just believe!! Hugs Jann
   — paschool

December 11, 2000
Anita, First of all i wanted to Congratulate you on your preganancy. Secondly, I jumped at the chance to give you support because i see how you reach out to people all the time on this site. I always see you post well wishes and answer questions and i wanted to thank you for all you do to BE supportive for so many others. I had a miscarriage 3 and a half years ago. Iwas heartbroken. The good news is. 1 and a half months later i was pregnant again and i now have a beautiful little girl who turns 3 this Sunday the 17th. When i was going through my miscarriage i kept thinking what can i do to stop this. I agree with Merri Busch. It is either going to happen or its not. The fact that your test strip turned so fast gives me hope. It means you have a high concentration of HGC (human growth cromosone) in your blood and urine. THATS GOOD!! Many times the tests are not clear or hard to read because the levels have not gotten strong enough to positively identify a pregnancy. The HGC almost doubles everyday in a viable pregnancy. Now STOP wrecking yourself...I know thats hard but you will see a doctor on Friday. Think positive and remember life is a fragile thing. I cannot tell you all is well, only your doctor can but i feel optimistic and i wish you and your baby, all the goodness in the world. Youre not paranoid. Its your self protection factor stepping in to toss in the possibility this may again not be your time. Your heart and body is saying yes Im pregnant but your head is saying "oh no!! what if??" It our way of dealing with the fear of the What ifs. Relax because the stress is not good for either of you. All the best to you, Tracy Leighan
   — Tracy L.

December 13, 2000
I would like to thank everyone that responded to my post. I needed lots of support and I got it. This time is very hard for me and I truly do not know what to do or how to feel. But I know now that this pregnancy is a blessing and I should pray that nothing DOES go wrong. I think most of you were right. I really do want this baby but I am terrified that it will die as the others did. Please continue to write me as I will still need you as time goes on. I go to see my surgeon and cardiologist this evening - I will update you when I return.
   — anitawilson