Question:
Evils of WLS no one wants you to know...
That's right, I'm talking about those untold, hidden "side-effects" of life after WLS. Those of you who are pre-op had better not read on, as your dream of a happy life may get punctured. While it's true many things improve after your health returns, some things we take for granted and have become accustomed to get pulled out from under our feet. For example: (1) Housework. When I was huge, my wife never asked me help around the house. I guess she was afraid I was going to have a Heart Attack if I tried to vaccum the Living Room. Shoot, I didn't even have to take out the trash. I used to spend all my time in front of the TV. Well, now she's got me working like a dog. I might as well wear an apron all weekend. (2) Yardwork. My definition of Yardwork used to be whipping out my wallet to pay some 12 year old kid to do it for me. Now she's got me out in the hot sun trying to keep up with the neighbor's yard. You know, Lawn Mowers sounded much less annoying from the comforts of my Lazy-Boy. (3) Privacy. When I was big, I always had a seat to myself on buses and trains. Who in their right mind wanted to squeeze in next to me. Well, that doesn't happen anymore. Not only do I always share, but my "neighbor" seems to always want to bring a burger and fries with them. It's a wonder I haven't murdered someone. My "mug shot" would show me with Ketchup dripping down my chin. (4) Wardrobe. I used to never spend money on clothes. I hate shopping, and what was the point anyway?? Even if I wore the latest fashions, nobody noticed - all they saw was "fat". Well, now my wife wants to "show me off" all the time. She's got me in stores that have names I can't even pronounce. If this keeps up, I'm going to need a second job!! (5) Bedtime. I used to sleep through the night without interruption. My CPAP was purring, and I slept like a baby. My wife never bothered me. Well, now she's waking me up at all hours demanding "attention". I guess when I was big, I was about as sexy as a Michelin tire. She's acting as if I'm going to add 150 pounds next week, and this is her "window of opportunity". (6) Fathering. If I was watching a ball game on TV, I never got disturbed by my kid. If she tried to ask me to go play with her, my wife would come to my rescue saying "Honey, your Daddy is (busy/tired/some other lame excuse) right now. Go play by yourself." Now, I hardly watch TV at all, unless it's Cartoon Network. I've lost track of the pennant races, but I can tell you "The Powerpuff Girls rule!!!". (7) Buffet Restaurants. Talk about frustration. While everyone else is "enjoying" themselves, I'm pretending to enjoy a piece of fish that had sat under a heat lamp so long it had turned into rubber. No butter; no ketchup; no flavor. Worse yet, I'm actually satisfied after this pathetic meal. If I want to sample everything, I get maybe 5 grams per dish, tops. So, I'm warning you - life after WLS is not always everything it's cracked up to be. Jeez, I need a vacation... ALONE!!! Disgruntledly yours, Kevin — meilankev (posted on May 13, 2002)
May 13, 2002
OMG ROFLMAO.... I was expecting someone who did not have a good experience
trying to let us pre-ops know it is not too late to back out! WOW I hope I
have the same terrible after problems you are :-)
— Stephanie B.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, You should be a comedian! Thanks for the smile, I needed that. I
am pre-op, but can't wait to experience these "evils" you talk
about! Keep up the good work, who knows you may decided to like all the
housework and special "attention" in the middle of the night!
Good for you! Live your life as we all should!
— Amanda R.
May 13, 2002
OMG...I was afraid to read this post and even more afraid that my spouse
would read it and would really be nagging me about the cons of surgery! Now
I cant wait to show it to him LOL, Thanks Kevin!!!!!!
— Reeda
May 13, 2002
Thanks, Kevin. I'm having a few pre-op jitters, and was scared to even
read your posting, but it was just what I needed. Yes! Keep living the
good life . . .
— Susan B.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, what can I say but "Thanks I needed that." your wife
sounds like a good woman so keep up with her at night.
— faybay
May 13, 2002
Thanks Kevin! I'm looking forward to when I can do all those "evil
things" without huffing and puffing. LOL.... You made my day, hope
yours is going well, too!
— Toni C.
May 13, 2002
Kevinnnnnnnnnnnn
I am only 7 days post and now my stitches hurt from laughing so hard. God
Bless you Kev (hehehehe)
I saw this and thought OH OH, went right to your journal, decided it was
safe to come back and read your message.
P.S. Kevin I want PICTURESSSSSSSSSSS , disappointed none on your journal
Hugs
— Jeri P.
May 13, 2002
Kevin!! You made my day!! As my big day approaches, I find myself getting
nervous, but your posting cracked me up. Thanks so much!!
— Carrie W.
May 13, 2002
Kevin.....OMG!! What a great letter! I am still pre-op and I have to tell
you I hesitated with your warning. But I wanted to at least see what you
had to say. WOW.....tears are running down my face, what a wonderful
story! Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your life "after
WLS".....Enjoy!
— lesleeloo
May 13, 2002
Hey, I'm Pre-Op and you just gave me so much more to look forward to. Thank
YOU!
— Sunny4x4chick
May 13, 2002
Too Funny!
— Kristin R.
May 13, 2002
Thanks soooo much from a very anxious pre-op! You made my day! I was so
nervous but you really relieved my anxiety!
— Pilar E.
May 13, 2002
Adding my voice to others.... very funny! thanks for the laugh today.
— Becky K.
May 13, 2002
Okay, I have been researching WLS for over a year now and decided to do it.
My seminar is tomorrow night. When I saw your headline, I was arguing with
myself(right there in front of my co workers,god and everone lol)don't
read!yes read!no,yes,no,yes! Okay I read it all I can say is THANK YOU!
— Lisa W.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, I clicked open your post and started thinking, "This poor guy
must not have had any pre-surgical education." Then I started
reading!! I'm 3 months postop and down 52 pounds and can really relate.
You captured the essence of the transformation. Isn't it awesome?!?! Good
luck to you and keep up the good work. It's time to live.
— Ocean1star
May 13, 2002
THANK YOU JUST LIKE ALWAYS THIS SITE PICK'S MY SPIRIT UP I CAN'T WAIT TO
HAVE SOME OF YOUR PROBLEMS YOU'RE SWEETHEART FOR PUTTING THIS TOGETHER GOD
BLESS YOU
— KENYA M.
May 13, 2002
OMG! I guess I must just be a masochist because those are just the kind of
"hidden" side effects I'm looking for. Although I am a little
frightened to find out some people end up with a really enlarged sense of
humor. Thanks soooo much for your post, it's just what most of us pre-ops
need to hear to give informed consent come surgery day. God bless you and
good luck with those "hidden" side effects
— Elva C.
May 13, 2002
LOVED IT!
— Marie A.
May 13, 2002
Oh, I'm feeling so sorry for you!!!!!!!!
;-) {{{{{{{}}}}}}}}
— Janet S.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, you should be a writer. You're too funny! I read your
"untold, hidden side-effects" to my co-worker, and she even
thought it was funny, and she hasn't had WLS! Yes, you should definately
think about changing your career!!! Thanks for the laughs!
— Becky H.
May 13, 2002
Yes Kelvin the Powerpuff Girls do rule!!! I needed to smile today, thanks.
— Karen M.
May 13, 2002
Thanks, Kevin. You made my day, my week, heck my year!!
— jsuggs
May 13, 2002
Geesh, Kevin, you had me worried!! My heart goes out to you.
— crawford1213
May 13, 2002
LOL. It seems to me that some of these problems stem from your wife being
a tad controlling. . . ;)
— Jennifer Y.
May 13, 2002
The horror! The horror! Ah! Great stuff! You made me spill my protein
drink all over myself!
— Lisa N M.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, Thank you for your post. I am now 17 months post op and was starting
to feel sorry for myself that I've been unable to lose that last 25 pounds.
I have actually almost forgotten what life was like before I lost the 100
pounds. I was beginning to take all those horrible, untold side effects for
granted. Thanks for reminding an "old timer" like me what this
surgery is really all about! Maria
— Maria H.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, You ARE the man!!!!
— faybert
May 13, 2002
(Bowing in reverence) We are not worthy!! Too funny. I really needed that.
I read it to my husband and he hopes I will wake him up in the middle of
the night after I have MY surgery. I told him not to hold his breath!!!!
— Angela H.
May 13, 2002
OH THAT WAS TO DIE FOR!!! When I seen that I was thinking 'uh oh, someone
against it'. I wasn't afraid to read it since I am getting myself ready for
all the good/bad things..heheehe..looking forward to these 'horrible' side
affects *sigh* just to carry my child and walk at the same time with out
feeling like a I ran a 25mile marathon!! Thank you for your posting..dang
and my printer doesn't work!! sheesh, I should run over to the library to
print it..hehe! take care!!!
— Jena C.
May 13, 2002
-180+ lbs. in 14 months, I couldn't have said it better myself!!! Kudos!
— Terissa R.
May 13, 2002
That was the BOMB Kevin, you have made my day, BRAVO,BRAVO.
— tanya G.
May 13, 2002
TOO FUNNY!!!:)
— ~~Stacie~~
May 13, 2002
You rock Kevin!! Mojojojo is my favorite! LOL
— Jeannette P.
May 13, 2002
Hey, that was great. I was almost afraid to read it. Isnt it amazing the
'little' things that bother us in life!!LOL.
— Cory F.
May 13, 2002
omg lol Kevin you are soo dramatic, quit wining hehe just kidding i liked
your words of horror after wls, thought i was gonna have to change my mind
except i already had the surgery 5 months ago....keep up the good spirits
k...hugs
— Deanna Wise
May 13, 2002
Wonderful tongue-in-cheek post! Thanks for the laugh. :)
— Carmen K.
May 13, 2002
Kevin, you definately need to up your caloric intake---I think your male
brain cells are being deprived of something! I can't believe you haven't
figured out how to break the darned lawn mower & lend the other
gardening tools to the neighbors---come on if I can figure out how to break
the washing machine from time to time, the lawn mower is easy! And to get
out of the housework, haven't you figured out that if you don't do it just
perfectly, (ie. screw it up), your wife will complain and eventually tell
you to stop so that she can do it herself---my 11 year old in 43 more days
son, figured that one out long ago from my hubby! And since when does any
male let the kids control the remote control of the TV, let alone the
programming? Simply unscrew the little cable connection and the PowerPuff
Girls have gone poof till the cable TV company fixes it----and there are a
lot of times that you can catch up on ESPN when thoses kids are asleep,
just ask my son who will turn his TV on at 5am to see the sports headlines
that he missed by being in bed by 9pm the night before! Can't do much
about the wife wanting to show you off---heck that is a spouse's right, be
glad that she hasn't done what my hubby did---take me to Victoria Secret's
and try on several styles of miracle & wonder bras to find the one that
"give me the best rack around"! I will admit that when I do
follow his advise in choice of clothes, I do get more compliments, and that
is always a nice thing. As far as the additional attention, well, even
hubbies who didn't have the surgery must put out too----it is definatly a
female thing that as we get older, we get better and want more, (my hubby
will sympathize with you), and you either have to be more accomodating or
accept the fact that there are a lot of younger men out there! Now there is
a trick to solving the buffet situation---simply make the others at the
table eat your leftovers----when my hubby started to eat my dining out
leftovers cause he didn't want them to "go to waste", then
started going "to waist"---his waist, not mine! This also made
shopping for clothes less fun as he needed larger sizes. WLS definately
makes somethings more difficult like being a better husband, father, son
& friend----but remember that in the end, you'll die an older, happier
man for having had better relationships.
— Sue F.
May 14, 2002
Kevin & Sue: we definately have brilliant writers with great sense of
humor on the board. We should have a book. Compilation of AMOS humor.
Thanks for the fun. Fay
— faybay
May 14, 2002
Kevin- Okay, i'm about to pee my pants!! I am sitting here at work reading
this and busted out laughing. Everyone is sitting here looking at me like
i am a kook (i like that type of attention!). My surgery date is scheduled
for 5/24, and i was a basket case. When i first saw your title i was
determined not to read it, but i'm very glad i did. PLEASE...put more
postings up to keep us in high spirits!!!
Tamara
— Tamara F.
May 14, 2002
LOL! I feel your pain, Kevin! We all know it's worth it though! You are
very talented:)
— KCAllen77
May 14, 2002
Too Funny! Thanks for the laugh. You have a great sense of humor. At
first I was afraid to read it but I'm sure glad that I did. Don't ya just
love it tho?
— Peggy D.
May 14, 2002
Hey Kevin,
I bow to your excellence in humor. If I wore a hat
I'd tip it to you! When I first saw the heading for
your post I went on to other things to read...as I will
only be 4 months post-op on the 17th. My husband and
I are both doing very well, ( we both had the surgery
on 1-17-02 ) and I couldn't imagine anything that bad
concerning our surgeries. So, I skipped over reading your
letter....I then rethought it and went back to read with
trepidation, what those hidden terrors might be.....
Again, Kevin, I tip my cap to you and your humor.
By the way...my husband, Ron,is down 68# and I'm down 53#
It's SO GOOD to be on the other side too!
— laurie W.
May 14, 2002
Kevin,
Tooooo funny! Thanks for the laugh..I needed it :)
— Eva C.
May 14, 2002
Hi Kevin! Loved your story. I thought I was at a Rodney Daingerfield show.
If you're not in comedy, you ought to think of getting into it. You're
too funny! Thanks for the lift.
— Bea T.
February 6, 2003
I'm pre-op...4 more days! I loved this post...very funny. However, there
is one thing I think I will have to start worrying about...I have always
been huge and never worried about being sexually asualted because no one
would want to have sex with me. Hopefully, I'll be so hot that I'll have
to watch my back. I just hope I don't become to defensive and scare off
the good ones:)
— Sarahlicious
April 29, 2003
I had to laugh at this, maybe I need to rethink this weight loss thing lol.
— tinky471
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