Question:
Taking care of kids after surgery

I would like to know how did the post op's take care of their kids after surgery? I have a 1 year old, and my husband has to work from 7-3p. I know you're not supposed to lift anything to heavy after surgery, and she's 31 pounds. I don't have any family or friends that could help with babysitting. My husband works Mon-Fri, so I stay home during the week with my daughter,and he watches her on the weekends when I work. Any suggestions on how to take care of her without having to hold her? Im sure someone has an answer. My daughter is very clingy,and is used of being held. Im worried she'll try to jump in my lap, or crawl on me and hurt my incsion. Im wating for approval from insurance company. please help!    — aisha E. (posted on January 18, 2003)

January 17, 2003
Hi! I'm worrying with the same thing right now :) I have 2 boys, ages 5 and nearly 2. Are you planning to have open or laproscopic? I am opting for laproscopic because the recovery time will be much shorter. Does your hubby have any vacation days he may be able to take? Mine just started a new job so he does not have any vacation days. I'm really hoping to get my surgery scheduled where I'd be coming home on a Friday and then he'll be off on the weekend. And by Monday I think i'd be able to care for my kids on my own. I do remember that when I had my cecerean section with my second that people I never expected to offer help were right there to offer to take care of my oldest. So, it will probably work out much easier than you think...Good luck!
   — April G.

January 17, 2003
I have 6 grandkids ages 13, 3-5yr olds (twins and a cousin), 1-3 yr old and 1-2 1/2 yr old. I also have in home day care, with 1-5 yr old, 4-4 yr olds and 3-2 yr olds. I showed them all my "boo boo's" and bandages, and told them they could not get on me. They were in awe of the whole deal. I have to show them the tummy often because thet are fasinated with it. They are very mindful of it. I let the smaller ones crawl up and sit on my lap or my legs and I take the trays off the high chairs and let them climb up themselves while I stand behind them, the same for getting down. I was on my own by week 2. I am now 12 weeks out and had no complications. P.S. nap when they do.
   — Tawnda C.

January 17, 2003
ABSOLUTELY GET DAY CARE!!! I have 5 children ages 14mos-14years when I had my open RNY done 11/02. I am a quick healer and get right back on track post C-sections etc. in my life. I have always been a do everything mom. HOWEVER--I arranged for 1 solid week of day care for the little one be cause I knew my husband could not be at home. BEST THING I EVER DID!!! Remember--it's not just the incision healing--it's the unexpected bout of nausea--the extreme fatigue from anesthesia--and the emotional juggle of what am I eating/drinking now? I had 8 hours a day to just deal with all this newness--I am so glad I sent her out--and then for 3 days the following week. I really could focus with the non harried pace in the house-and throw in some laundry--plus prepare dinner--NO WAY any of that would have happened w/ my toddler at home. Just to have my "own" naptime--several times a day--and believe me you need them. Good Luck--she can sit on your lap at bedtime!!! Just my 2 cents--take care of yourself--then you will be better able to care for them.
   — Wannabe A.

January 18, 2003
I have a 20 month old granddaughter. The first week home I didn't hold her. After the second week I put a little stool beside my recliner. She could step up on the stool and get on my lap. It worked well. Except, if she fell asleep we just had to stay like that until she woke up, as I could not lift her. I kept a blanket next to the recliner and if she fell asleep I laid back and we cuddled together. It did not hurt my stomach at all. I did however always wear my binder the first 6 weeks.
   — Pam G.

January 18, 2003
I am in the same boat, except my son is older (21 months). My doc says that regardless of open or lap surgery, I still can't lift him for 7-8 weeks (he weighs 27 lbs). I am fortunate that I have my mom nearby, and we'll stay with her for a while... BUT, I definitely think daycare is a good idea if you can do it (I couldn't bear to put my son in our local daycare, but that's a different story). In addition to my mom, I have found a good friend willing to take him a few hours here and there, and since I'll have surgery in the summer, I will be interviewing local kids (age 10-15 or so), who can come over and be there WITH me, to do the lifting....(younger kids are happy to help for less money than an older experienced sitter, and it gives me the benefit of maybe cultivating a sitter when they're old enough to take care of him alone). Another thing that I'm trying , which may be harder as your little one is younger, is that I am starting now to teach him to climb in the high chair alone, I'm putting stools by all the counters so he can reach things, I'm teaching him to get in the carseat without help, etc... all these things make tasks take three times as long, but hopefully they'll make a big difference down the road.... GOOD LUCK
   — Kelly B.

January 18, 2003
I also am facing the same circumstances with 10 month old twins- a 2 yr old, 3 yr old, and 6 yr. old. My husband just took a new job and he has no time to take off. I don't know who can help me out during the day. I was thinking of checking with our church (even if we haven't been attending regularly). I am hoping someone there will be able to help or be able to give me some reliable contacts.
   — lyndaleigh

January 18, 2003
My biggest issue with my 2yr old (as of Feb. 24!!!) isn't taking care of him at home...my husband can give him his baths and Zach can have lunch on a towel on the floor instead of his high chair (He's about 35lb now). I'm worried about the three or so days I'll be in the hosptial. My husband has time off...but will my son be able to visit me? When I had him, the hopsital I was at did not allow children in the rooms under the age of 16...and that was the MATERNITY WARD!!!...Ps...I also heal fast...after my c-section, I was up and my old self again in about 5 days!
   — Renee B.

January 19, 2003
I had an open RNY on 10/30/02 and I have a 7 yr. old and an almost2 yr. old. My "baby" is pretty light weight (24 lbs.) but still clingy too. I admit I lifted her only a few weeks after my surgery, but it was without thinking...I have had 3 c-sections too but this surgery is different. I also incorperated my 7 yr. old as much as possible because I didn't have anyone to help either. I showed her my scar and told her mommy had an owie so be careful..I tried really hard to be sitting down when she needed me, but I also wore my binder for 6 weeks so that helped too. It's hard when you have kids because your so used to being there for them!! Just be careful and try to be sitting down when you hold her.
   — laura_yoon