Question:
Need suggestions on what to say at Thanksgiving.
I am fiercely private about my surgery. No one at work or school knows about it. Only my family. I don't want anyone to know. It is easy enough to blow off a waiter at a restaurant and say "I've already eaten" or "I'm not real hungry" or "I've just had tummy surgery." But this year, my guy and I are going to have Thanksgiving with some friends. I don't know what to say to people when they see me eating just a few bites, along with losing 100 pounds. I would appreciate any suggestions or excuses. I am really getting myself worked up over this for no good reason. — [Anonymous] (posted on November 16, 2001)
November 16, 2001
Maybe I'm dense...but what's your dilemna? If you've already lost
100lbs. and no knows you had wls, they must have assumed that you
lost the weight by dieting because no one loses 100lbs. doing nothing.
So, eat light and if someone says something, tell them you don't want
to regain any of the weight you lost. Certainly you haven't hidden such
a drastic weight loss.
— [Anonymous]
November 16, 2001
I would say "my doctor has put me on a severely restricted diet to
help my stomach" or something like that, and if they press, just
say, "I don't want to talk about it, it's embarrassing".
99% of people will drop it right there, because they will assume what you
really mean is some gross bowel thing :-) and the rest you can ignore. If
you are firm and calm, nobody will pursue it, but if you are clearly
anxious about it, people might grill you.
— Julia M.
November 16, 2001
How about "everything is delicious, but this is all I feel like
eating"? Anyone who presses is an idiot and deserves to be ignored.
I think its rude to comment on how much or how little someone eats. Anyone
willing to be that rude, to question how much you eat, deserves the
smallest answer possible. And if they press it, they deserve to be told to
mind their own business.
— Dee P.
November 16, 2001
Why not just say you don't feel well? I wouldn't ask any further questions
if someone said that.
— Goldilauxx B.
November 16, 2001
Gee, how about this response, "I drank too much water before dinner
and now I'm full!" I actually do that (drink too much water.) It
could happen! LOL
— Kathie L.
November 16, 2001
Trust me on this one... I was paranoid about entertaining at my home...
because I was worried about having to give our friends and explanation of
my portion size. Dont worry about it.... let me tell you, no one cares what
is on your plate once their food is on their plate. I set the beautifully
garnished platters on the table and served everyone first of course and
they were so busy looking at their delicious food no one even looked at
what I was eating. Trust me on this one... no one notices!
— SusanMaria
November 16, 2001
Even before surgery, when I made Thanksgiving dinner or any
major meal, I rarely felt like eating much when I finally
got to sit down. I would simply tell people I picked and
nibbled all morning so I am not very hungry. Nobody has questioned
me since. Good Luck:)
— M B.
November 18, 2001
I have found that honesty is the best policy. If anyone asks about your
intake simply tell them the truth. You are physically unable to eat larger
quantities of food. If they ask why then, be proud of the pain and
suffering you've gone through and tell them. It takes alot of courage to
make the dicision to have this surgery, no matter what form it took. I am
proud to have done something about my weight and I even ahve shown off my
scar. Even if some people think that surgery is the lazy way out they will
see the results and then maybe they will change their minds. Be honest and
forthright. That's the only right way in my book.
— Melissa S.
November 19, 2001
I really wouldn't worry about it. Seeing how you have already lost
100pounds, people can figure out you are "dieting". IF anyone
says anything, just tell them you are watching what you eat and you just
don't want to "get off track". Certainly they would accept that
answer.I had a similar worry.....I have 12, thin, opionated in-laws coming
this Xmas. I was worried about what to say to them cause I didn't want them
knowing about the surgery. As it turns out, my surgery is in January ( my
choice) but someone told me to just put food on your plate and eat what you
want. With all the comotion of everyone being there, no one will probably
even notice how much ( or little) you eat. Relax. If you are up tight about
it that might cause people to notice it more than they normally would. Just
enjoy you Thanksgiving!
— Kim B.
November 19, 2001
I felt exactly the same way you do and worried alot about what to say when
people noticed I wasn't eating with the same gusto I used to. Funny
thing...NO ONE NOTICED! As a previous poster said, they are really only
interested in what is happening on their own plates. Especially at a
Holiday or celebration meal. Put food on your plate, pick at what you want
and eat very slowly. Enjoy the conversation and the company, smile, and no
one will say a word to you. If someone should, for some strange reason,
remark that you haven't eaten much (waiters are the only ones who ever said
anything to me) simply smile and say you don't seem to have much appetite
today. Thin people sometimes have no appetite and seem to accept this
explanation. No big deal. Enjoy yourself.
— Anne G.
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