Question:
How to handle social situations 3 1/2 weeks after surgery

I am on the verge of not attending a close-knit yearly school reunion weekend. It will be at a friend's home and about 14 other people will be there. We've always been the partying type and that's how the reunions go. But here I am 3 1/2 weeks post op and I have no plans to tell anyone about the surgery. I have thought of telling the hostess in advance that I'm on a strict diet so that she won't be surprised. Has anyone had this happen so early post op?    — Marian H. (posted on August 9, 2001)

August 9, 2001
I know I was not up to any kind of party at 3.5 weeks. However, you can easily plead any kind of illness that would account for not much appetite and not much energy. It really comes down to wether or not you want to go. The other issue that you didn't specifically mention is if you will just feel left out. That's tougher, but I would encourage you to try if that's the issue. At my first post op event, I felt a little left out of the eating, but I still got to see everyone and participate in conversation and nobody else noticed what I ate except the people who knew and were watching for it. Good luck in whatever you choose.
   — kcanges

August 9, 2001
Nobody really notices what other people are eating and drinking. They're too busy filling their own plates! If you feel good and really want to be with your friends, you should go. Simply say that you had some minor intestinal surgery and you're "eating light" for a while. If someone is rude enought to ask for the details just say something like....."Oh, I'm not about to bore you with my sugery stories...I hate it when people do that to me ...".
   — [Anonymous]

August 9, 2001
I did it by holding a glass of water the entire time and sipping! You could also bring something you can eat for a dish to pass (I do that too) so that you are guaranteed something is there that you can eat. I think it is important to get out, if you are physically feeling up to it, especially because you are right around the time of being post op that a depression can hit and you can feel left out of things. Good luck!
   — M B.

August 9, 2001
I know alot of people want to keep the Bypass a secret. Personally I don't understand why but that is your right. ;) If I was going to attend a party, I would just say no thanks to anything I did'nt want. If they wondered why I would just say I had a gastric bypass. But it's a personal choice. As for me I'll shout my gastric bypass on a house top! I'm not ashamed. (Not saying that you are). I'm a what you see is what you get person and am not going to hide my surgery in anyway. But I'm sure there are reasons that some people might have to and you may be one of them. Good luck with your reunion. ;) Perhaps you could say you just ate not to long ago and are not hungry?
   — Danmark

August 9, 2001
I agree w/ Kim, tell them your just getting over a stomach virus/flu whatever. No one will force you to eat. I sure wouldn't push any guest who wasn't feeling well.
   — Cindee A.