Question:
Help! Suggestions on staying focused before surgery. 18 days pre-op

I feel as though I am on an emotional rollercoaster. I think I am more concerned about my pre-op tests than the actual surgery! I am 18 days out and feel a bit panicked, should I be doing something I am not? I have started on Zinc and vitamins... but are they the right ones??? I am second guessing everything it seems. I need this surgery... I have been waiting all of my life... ok... that is an exageration! (somewhat!) The truth being is that it is scheduled for the 26th of April and that is the day my new life begins. I don't think I would handle it very well emotionally if something were to happen. I have experienced so many emotional issues since Jan 1. One family member was diagnosed with Lung Cancer... One family member was diagnoed with Prostate Cancer... I am at the end of my divorce... VERY AMICABLE... thank goodness or I would be a basket case! But after being married for almost 28 yrs... and having 3 grown sons... the separation... although mutually desired, it will still be an issue. Closure and all. I have my surgery 3 hours from where I live and my soon to be ex, will fly out for a new life in Hawaii the 29th. I had hoped to have had my surgery in Jan after seeing the first surgeon :( This would have worked out soooooo much better for work, as that is our 'slow' time.... Now it is like an act of congress to get the time off. BUT.... everything for a reason.... and I do believe in timing! Now if I could just get things settled as to which surgery I am having! A bit difficult to get my mind headed in the right direction. My BC/BS (my primary) denied BPD/DS... but will approve 'other' WLS! OK... all paperwork resubmitted for approval on Open RNY. All of a sudden Aetna (my secondary) has finally routed the paperwork sent in Feb to the right office and now there may be a slim chance of approval from them for the BPD/DS! The only problem being is that I only have Ins through them up to 2 days after my surgery! This will be my ex's last day of employment and he is not continuing his insurance. I have so many questions and cannot ask Ins carriers cause I do not want to raise any red flags until the approval for something is signed and sealed! The only thing that is keeping me sane at this moment is that I should know something no later than Tues afternoon as well as having one a loving soul in my life that is trying to keep me focused on myself... the preparation and holding on to positive thoughts... Help? What should I be doing? packing? buying?    — Dottie H. (posted on April 8, 2000)

April 8, 2000
Dottie - the last thing you need is something else to worry about - that being said, HOw long is your anticipated hospital stay? If your husband's insurance ends 2 days after surgery - you may be in the hospital without coverage. Would you 'new' insurance consider your current hospitalization as a pre-existing condition? Just something you might want to check out.
   — Toni B.

April 8, 2000
Dottie - first of all, ((((hugs)))). There. Take a deep breath. It's going to be FINE. I always tell people to float like a leaf in the stream... just let the process carry you along. Now, on to specifics - the insurance issue is actually pretty easy to handle. You can continue the secondary insurance INDEPENDENTLY through the COBRA law. Your husband does NOT have to continue his coverage for you to do so. Just have your soon-to-be-ex handle it with his benefits person - they'll know what to do. As for vitamins and such, call your surgeon's office and ask them if they recommend anything in particular, but I'm sure whatever you're taking is fine. Stuff to buy... heck, I never ended up using most of the stuff I bought before surgery. Most of what you have on hand should be fine. Some high-protein bars will come in handy for those days you just can't choke down another bite. Lots of different stuff to drink - diet Snapple, iced tea, etc. You can always ask a friend to make a store run if you decide you need something you don't have. Good luck, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you get the surgery of your choice!
   — Kim H.

April 8, 2000
Dottie, First of all, they cannot just "cut off your insurance" like that. They MUST according to law, send you notice and then ask if you want to cobra it. It may cost you 3 or 4 hundred for another month but well worth it. Also, I would check to see if the insurance runs another 30 days after he quits. Usually it does. They don't normally just cut you off like that. Call the company to actually see and then call the insurance to find out the cutoff date. As for the BPD/DS, well, I had BCBS and they had no idea what that surgery was. All I had to do was to call them, have them tell me that I was approved for any "other" surgery, and then ask them to send it to their doctor for review. Their doctor then called my doctor, my doc explained everything, and I was approved the same day. If necessary have your doctor call after finding out what doctor at the insurance company he needs to call. They were very understanding and very quick. People are just not as aware of BPD/DS as they are of other surgeries. My best friend is going through this now just trying to find a doctor who will DO the surgery. Mostly the docs do the RNY which is also a good surgery but after evaluating herself she wants the BPD/DS. I am glad you wrote this though because, it makes me think that "she" also, might have this same problem with the insurance. I wish you nothing but good luck and happiness no matter what surgery and no matter what happens. You will lead a much fuller life afterwards. Barb
   — BARBARA R.

April 9, 2000
Dottie, I also wanted to comment on the insurance issue you are facing. Barbara is right that they can't just cut you off. Even if your ex-husband is quitting his job, and you are divorced, you will have the option of continuing with the same insurance policy for up to a year through COBRA. Ask your ex-husband to forward the cobra paperwork to you if it comes to him instead. Each person who has been insured, employee, spouse, kid, whoever, has the option of paying(individually) for extended coverage under this law. You can decide to keep the medical but not dental, optical, or any other extra stuff that may also be insured now. Good Luck!
   — Lynn K.

April 9, 2000
P.S. You will have sixty days to decide if you want to purchase the cobra coverage. That means you can probably wait and see how your surgery goes, then if you don't have complications or other ongoing problems, you might decide not to get the cobra at all, but if you do decide to get it, it will continue your old coverage uninterupted from your husband's quit date. Here is a link to read about this: http://www.insure.com/health/cobra.html
   — Lynn K.

April 9, 2000
Dottie, I am scheduled for surgery the same day as you. I've been through emotional hell since Christmas 1998 - read my profile. I'd love to talk privately as our date approaches. Best wishes
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