Question:
My husband had WLS in Feb. and was taken to the ER for stroke like symptoms...

Help! My husband is post op since Feb. and was taken to the ER for Conversion Dissorder/Depression. It came out as a stroke. How do I motivate him? How is taking Remeron going to help? He has lost the use of his Left foot so walking is not an option right now and he is so Damned depressed that he can't get out of his own way. Any advice?    — Brooke B. (posted on July 25, 2003)

July 25, 2003
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. He needs to be able to adjust to this life change, let him adjust to the changes and give him time to realize that having surgery was a blessing, now the weight loss won't be an added factor to the recovery process. May sure he is eating nutritionally, taking vitamins and drinking fluids. As long as his physical health gets better the mental obstacles will lessen. Your in my prayers!
   — Dana B.

July 25, 2003
Brooke, just wanted to let you know that you and your husband are in our prayers. I hope he gets better soon. I did a search for you on Remeron. They have their own website with lots of information about the product: http://www.remeronsoltab.com/products/consumer/remeron/soltab/soltab_c.html You might want to talk to his doctor and see if he feels one on one counseling might help.
   — [Deactivated Member]

July 25, 2003
Brooke, As a mental health professional, I strongly encourage you to help your husband get into talk therapy and consult with a psychiatrist for the best medication choices. One of the reasons depression can be so hard to kick is that it zaps both one's motivation and optimism. It is my general opinion that depression is often best treated by a combination of anti-depressants and talk therapy. Wishing you the best.
   — Kofi A.

July 25, 2003
How about upper body exercise? Free weights? And set "sessions" of sitting outside in the fresh air/sunshine. If cannot walk at all (if he is in a wheelchair) YOU take him for a walk. Get him outdoors one way or another; and coming from someone who has dealt with many forms of depression; that is the hardest thing to do by yourself. Just getting him to discuss his depression is helpful, acknowledging it is the first step- even LAUGHING at it (bitterly at first!) will help. Every day when he gets up (after coffee & food please!) have him rate his depression (Personally, today I'm a 8!) 1 (being the worst) and 10 (being the better) and go forward with appropriate "activity" to his number. His numbers will probably rise. I mean everyone has a bad day now and then, but when you have consistantly low numbers, you will know to mold the day around uplifting activities. Exercise helps release good stuff to stave off depression- so any kind of exercise is good(how about swimming!!! Water aerobics?). I am not trying to encourage a co-dependant relationship, he is going to need to WANT this himself as well. You cannot cure him, but you can help him, help himself.
   — Karen R.

July 25, 2003
Hi, My mom had a stroke on June 1st. She is home now but refuses to go back to the therapy they had scheduled for her. She cannot walk on her own, loss the use of her left leg and arm, she Did regain the use of them back quickly but still cannot walk or be left alone at all. She says the therapy is stupid and she can do it at home. {she does nothing to better her walking situation} and all her Drs said there was no reason she couldnt/shouldnt be walking again and being indipendant by now. I hope your husband feels better soon. I know this is a very depressing thing to go through. Lots of hugs and prayers for you hun. Hugs Penny
   — Penny~ L.

July 25, 2003
I was young by all standards when I had my stroke in 1998, and then a TIA, second stroke in 1999, I was 47 y/o. My stroke was caused by a blood clot passing through the optical nerve, and caused me to be blind on the left side of both eyes, and left me with no depth perception. Also, some mobility problems in my left leg and hip. I was so depressed, and even though my husband was very supportive, I was so overwhelmed, about him having to hold the burden and I started to resent him, so I went a saw a Psycologist, and she helped to relize that I was grieving my loss, and that was normal, so your husband needs to get some professional help, he needs to be able to talk to someone besides you about his stroke, he needs to get that burden off of his shoulders, with some one other than you, and he may need medications and they can help with that. Your husband needs to be able to grieve the loss. He can not handle this on his own. Also, go to the National Stroke Association Web site, it helped my get some answers and support, and was great therapy for me to do at home. It helped me to not feel so alone. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions or just need to talk.
   — cindy