Question:
I have to wait EIGHT months until my surgery, how am I going to make it?

Well, I certainly have been reminded of why I need this surgery so bad. I am feeling guilty and ashamed because we haven't walked in over a week. I'm scared to weigh because I'm afraid I regained the 9# I lost. Or worse, more than that. I was doing so well on what I ate, then someone brought pizza over. After that, I gave myself excuses as to why I could just "have a little". I'll excersize more (or at least tonight, for sure), or, I'll eat less today. I have stopped logging my food at Dietwatch.com because now everytime I put anything into my mouth, I feel guilty. I tried for so long not to care, to just accept the way I was and enjoy food. Then I found out about this surgery. It matters to me to lose weight. I want to be healthier like everyone else. I want to be on the "other side". I want a life. I'm scared every night when I go to sleep I will die in my sleep because my apnea is so severe. I'm afraid I will over exert my heart and have a heart attack before I get surgery. I have to wait until July and it's starting to feel like torture already. How am I going to make it through the next eight months? And NOT gain anymore weight? I don't like how I feel about myself now. I feel like I'm SNEAKING when I eat food. It's horrible. I felt like this all my life and now it seems to be obbsessing in me. My friend was denied her insurance and has been having major stress in her life right now, so she isn't being any more supportive than I am of her. We order our fast food without saying a word, and I know she feels the way I do. How am I going to make it another eight months without going crazy, or killing myself with stress??? Help!!    — janetlynne69 (posted on October 27, 2000)

October 27, 2000
Hi Janet, Let me just say that I understand how you feel. I began this process in April. Thats right April. I am still waiting for a date. (Insurance approval is pretty much a given)..pending some results from cardiologist. I know my date is mid-November and let me just say that time FLEW by. How I put this in perspective was that I just realized, hey 8 mos are going to go by no matter if I have surgery or not and it is MY choice how I spend them. I have tried to focus on enjoyng every moment I cant with my family, because lets face it, I could die any day, with or without this surgery. Just remember..this surgery is NOT a cure, it is only a tool and maybe your focus will change.
   — Eva C.

October 27, 2000
Janet, the only advice I can give is...take it one day at a time! I started this process back in Feb. and then was told I had to wait until Oct. to see the surgeon for the first time. Now it looks like surgery will be in Feb/01 or Mar/01. I thought back in Feb when I made the decision that surgery was going to be my lifesaver that I wouldn't be able to wait one more day to have it, somehow I have made it thru these past 9 months. I try to think about how much better my life will be afterwards, and that maybe God has a reason to make me wait this long. Above all, not a day has gone by that I haven't visited this website and have gottten such incredible support...we'll help you thru and you'll have a chance at some point to help someone who is feeling the same way you are! Keep your chin up honey! Luv, Nicole
   — DolcezzaVT

October 27, 2000
I completely understand. I wanted to be a hermit before my surgery, I waited 2 years until I called the doctor, waited 5 more months for the consult, waited another 5 months for the surgery. It was hard. Just do what you can to take care of yourself, and read profiles every day. The more I read, the better my resolve was, the more encouraged I felt, and it really helped. Good luck to you.
   — Cara S.

October 27, 2000
Hi Janet...congratulations on your approval. I just wanted you to know that we've all felt what you feel right now, all the guilt, all the shame and anxiety about eating. And none of us - 18,000+ members - could control it, and that's why we're here. We are here to support you, comfort you and encourage you. Now, about your 8-month wait, could you possibly find another doctor who doesn't have such a long waiting list? Could you get on a cancellation list? Could you talk to your doctor about the severity of your co-morbs and try to get moved up? In the meantime, you may benefit by going to Overeater's Anonymous, just so you have a way to deal with these destructive feelings. I know the cycle of emotions and eating very well, and it's just as bad as being obese. And everyone will tell you that the wait is worse than anything. My heart goes out to you, Janet. Good luck to you - you'll be in my prayers.
   — Allie B.

October 27, 2000
Janet, I've found the best way to take my mind of myself is to do something to help someone else. I know that may sound trite but it works. Try volunteering at a nursing home...there are always people there who need a visit. Or help out your local humane society. Or check the Surgery Date Page here and send encouraging emails to folks having surgery every day. <p>Worry and stress and guilt will not make waiting easier. Transforming that energy into positive action will make the time fly by. <p>Good luck with everything and know that we're here for you!!
   — Roseann M.

October 28, 2000
What a dilemma. At least you HAVE been approved for the surgery so you have that much behind you. In the meantime, see if your doctor has a cancellation list he could put you on. You might also check the excellent list of physicians at this website and look for another doctor in your area who is equally qualified. I know when I first decided to get the procedure, I called the most popular surgical group in Fresno that my girlfriend went to, only to be told that I couldn't even get into their introductory seminar for over 6 months. I said " Phooey on that." I looked up other doctors on this site and picked one I thought I would like whom other patients had spoken highly of. I called his office and told them my doctor was referring me and they got me an apptmt. for consultation within a week. My insurance approved within 2 weeks and my surgery is scheduled in one month. (That's 4 months before I could have even gotten into the seminar at the other place). Maybe you need to consider that option. Just call another doctor, explain the dilemma and see if they are eager to help you. Otherwise, fill the space in these upcoming months with wonderful thoughts of being thin and healthy. Keep a journal to remind yourself of what will change in your life. Plan a new wardrobe. Think positive thoughts and get yourself busy doing other things. I know many who have waited for a year for their procedures and they survived the anticipation. I bet you can too. Hang in there. best to you...sherry mc donald
   — Sherry M.