Question:
hey everyone need you input PLEASE help

Had my surgery on March 8th...I KILL MYSELF everyday exercising I'm walking 4 miles or more a day...and at 289 pounds I'm even jogging for about half a mile to mile..i've lost 48 pounds..I go to bed in pain from pushing so hard and I'm doing the wii sweating to the point of not seeing... What AM I doing wrong is anyone else having issues... I'm getting so depressed..feel like I could've lost that by myself and spared myself the pain of surgery...for two months I had an open wound you could put your hand into..and was pushing even then...I could really use a friend right now who understands    — LilLeeThatsME10 (posted on June 20, 2010)


June 20, 2010
Leighann: Please feel free to contact/connect with me offlist is you need/want a friend. I have actually been trained as a Surgical "Angel" for my local support group, so I guess I have a level of compassion to understand for postops that are in similar situations as yours. In all truthfulness, and at the risk of sounding harsh, have you considered (at least for a minute) that perhaps you are trying just too hard? I also took your surgery date and divided it by the # of lbs. you claim to have lost. As of tomorrow it appears you will be 15 weeks postop and have averaged a 3.2# PER WEEK weight loss since surgery. Seriously, when is the last time you can say that you "dieted" and lost that much weight per week? I'm sorry, but I think you (a) might be trying just a tad too hard and (b) you are being impatient -- and I know how hard it is to reel that in. However, my WLS sister, we did not wake up "fat" one day so we will in contrast NOT wake up in one day "thin" as well. Please do not allow your psyche to play games with you. Also, just so you know I took the # of lbs. you lost by the time it has been since your surgery merely to compare it to myself and the average patient (albeit we ALL lose weight at different rates) b/c I was also concerned in that (a) you did not mention the surgery type you had, but from what you wrote I will presume it was an rny; and (b) I was attempting to see if perhaps it was your calorie intake, but again with a 3.2# wt. loss per week it seems you MUST be doing most of all the right things and eating correctly. Personally, I will be 25 weeks out rny on Tuesday, 6/22 and have lost 85# to date. I was at your weight(289#--currently?) when I had surgery. You are only 2.5 months or 10 weeks behind me and I am averaging 3.5# per week wt. loss and I have NOT exercised a lick -- and I do mean one iota. I was far too busy this past winter and spring to even consider it and each and every day I tell myself I am going to go renew the gym membership and then something happens in my household to prevent it. So you see why I say you might be trying a bit too hard? If you didn't exercise like the fiend you are now BEFORE your surgery (which I would doubt) I would highly suggest you not think you have to be so gung-ho now either. The wt. loss will happen, but again we have to be patient with ourselves, our change in lifestyle and we MUST remember this is only a tool to aide us in the new life we wish for ourselves. If you intend to keep up this new exercise regimen for life, then great, but if you are only doing it to increase excess weight loss for the moment then I highly suggest you give it some more thought and ease up. Again if you need a pal, friend, or someone to occasionally check in with and keep you on track, please feel free to give a yell. If you contact me via IM through the board I will be glad to send you my personal email for further contact. Wishing you Godspeed on your journey. ~Trish
   — momeego

June 20, 2010
Yes, you could have lost that much on your own. However, you would not have kept it off and you probably wouldn't keep losing for long. I had RNY surgery on 2/19/10.I don't know which surgery you had but some lose slower than others. The goal is not who loses the fastest. You need to be as healthy as possible while doing this. Take your vit, calcium, etc and drink, drink, drink. Get your protein and keep exercising.Join a WLS support group.Remember this is for long term health and you will continue to lose weight. You are also losing inches. Do you measure? If not, you will be surprised at the inches that you lose. I haven't lost as much as some people but I am losing enough for me. You need time to adjust to large amts of weight loss. God is helping you and will help you through your discouragement. Make sure you are getting enough food and don't hurt yourself exercising. The results will be worth it. 2/19/10.
   — tandalyncarter

June 20, 2010
Hi Leighann. You are pushing yourself too hard. I am six months out and have lost 83 lbs. I worked up to exercise gradually. I now walk 5-6 days a week, weight lift 2 days a week, and do a yoga class 2-3 days a week. You want to make exercise an enjoyable part of your life so that you continue to exercise as a lifestyle choice. You also have to remember that your body needs a day of rest, so make sure to do so and not feel guilty. Feel free to chat with me anytime. Exercise can and is fun if you slow down and relax.
   — Cynthia T.

June 20, 2010

   — Jeanette Hagar

June 20, 2010
After reading your post I am so glad I chose my Dr for my RNY surgery. He was VERY strict on what I ate with a timetable also. I was not allowed carbs until I lost 75% of my weight, also what kind of surgery did you have? To me you are doing well with the weight loss, just do your protein and water, it is imperative. Also, you should go to support groups, my Dr has monthly support groups. I also go to a pyschologist, I am very scared of gaining weight back and I am thinnnnnnnnn, to thin right now. Like the other gal that commented you need to take all your vitamins too. You had very good advise from these gals. BTW, I love this site!!!!!!
   — FSUMom

June 20, 2010
Just a few points to consider. If you are exercising that much, you are building muscle. The best way to determine how much "fat" you are losing (more important than how much "weight" you are losing because, if you are losing muscle as well as many people do who lose weight quickly, you are also lowering your metabolism which makes it harder to lose weight and if you are losing muscle, your health can dramatically suffer - remember, your heart is muscle!) - so, take your measurements weekly (I kept track of my measurements every week for the first 9 months and was always amazed at how fast those inches disappeared, even when my weight remained the same!), and rather than looking at BMI (which doesn't tell you how much muscle vs fat you have), have someone do body composition testing. Although not as accurate as measurements that are done by doctors or physical therapists, etc., there are some excellent scales out there that are fairly accurate (Tanita Ironman scales are good ones). And don't get too caught up with the weight on the scales - look at how you feel - that is why you ultimately decided to have the surgery, isn't it? To be healthier and feel better? Are you off medications you were previously taking? My goodness! To be jogging half a mile to a mile is tremendous! Were you able to do that before? I doubt it. I can't do that yet at 210 lbs! Keep up the good work. Don't let others get you down. You are doing so good! Wendy
   — Wendy M.

June 21, 2010
YOU'RE PUSHING YOURSELF SO HARD RIGHT NOW I'M AFRAID IF YOU GET DISCOURAGED YOU COULD TURN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION . FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO RELAX SOME AND LET YOU'RE NEWLY AQUIRED TOOL YOU JUST RECEIVED DO IT'S JOB . YOUR BODY HAS HAD MAJOR ADJUSTMENTS TO MAKE FROM YOUR SURGERY . I HAD RNT 15 MONTHS AGO AND SHORTLY AFTER DEVELOPED A PAINFUL HERNIA . I'VE HAD TO REDUCE MY WORKOUTS DRASTICALLY UNTIL I HAVE HERNIA SURGERY . MY WEIGHT STILL CAME OFF STEADILY DOING A MINIMUM EXCERCISE . THE ONLY THING YOUR DOING WRONG IS YOUR TRYING TOO HARD . YOU DIDN'T PUT ALL YOUR WEIGHT OVER NIGHT AND THE SAME GOES FOR LOSING YOUR WEIGHT . DO YOUR EXCERSISE AT AN ENJOYABLE RATE . DON'T MAKE EXCERCISE A CHORE MAKE IT SOMETHING YOU ENJOY DOING . MAKE SURE YOU GET LOTS OF REST BECAUSE YOUR REST IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS EXCERCISE .FOLLOW YOUR FOOD REGIMEN AND WATER AND VITAMINS AS YOUR DOCTOR RECOMENDS . THE BEST ADVICE I GOT AFTER MY SURGERY WAS TO STAY OFF THE SCALE AND JUST CONCENTRATE ON THE THINGS THAT YOU CONTROL . I WEIGH MYSELF ONCE EVERY 2 OR 3 WEEKS AND IT HAS ALL WORKED OUT GREAT . PLEASE RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR RESULTS YOU'VE ALREADY HAD A SUPER START ON YOUR JOURNEY . WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR YOU'LL BE AMAZED AT YOUR RESULTS . BY PRACTICING WHAT YOU LEARNED BEFORE SURGERY ,BEING RELAXED AND PATIENT ABOUT YOUR RESULTS YOU'RE IN FOR A GREAT TREAT WHEN YOU REACH YOUR GOAL . TAKE IT FROM ME IT IS THE GREATEST AND PROUDEST MOMENT WHEN YOU REACH THAT GOAL . GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY YOUR HARD WORK , IT WILL BRING THE BIGGEST SMILE TO YOUR FACE .......ROGER
   — ROGER COTE

June 21, 2010
Hi there.I read the other responses to your question. I think the thing is that as we follow our doctor's and nutritionist's advice then we each have to find a plan that works for us and then work the plan. How much you are exercising IS AMAZING!!! I am addicted to exercise my own self and I walk 2 miles everyday. I love to walk outside but if the weather doesn't permit,I have my trusty treadmill. I also work out with weights and do floor exercises. Yes, exercise IS VERY important to your weight loss but, not to the point of feeling like you are killing yourself. I agree with the person who said that we need to train the way we think as a lifelong, healthy lifestyle. Not just doing all of this to lose the weight. But to form habits that will be with us for the rest of our lives. If you push too hard then it's difficult to keep up that routine EVERY day for years to come. My advice would be to form habits now that will be easily maintained for the rest of your life. But I also realize that you have to do what you feel is going to bring you the success that you desire right now. I don't think you are doing anything WRONG necessarily except maybe being too hard on yourself. Exercising as much as you are, you are forming muscle which weighs more than fat. While I was losing the weight, I put my bathroom scales away in the closet because I learned very early on that the number on the scales was discouraging me. If it didn't show the weight loss that I thought it should considering how hard I was working out and I stuck to my nutrition plan without any cheating, I would get soooo discouraged. Once I put the scales out of sight and just focused on making healthy food choices every day, one day at a time, working out each day, I knew the weight had no choice but to come off and I felt it in my clothes. I only allowed myself to weight once a month. When friends and family would ask me how much have you lost? I said, I have no idea. I just know I feel healthier than I have in years. I refuse to live my life chained to the numbers on the bathroom scale any more. I'm not saying that it's not important. But my life style changes HAD to just not be about the numbers on the scale. I had to change the way I think and feel about food!!! And thank God it worked. Don't be discouraged and don't be so hard on yourself. YOU will find what works for YOU. You are on your journey to finding your true self. Be proud of what you have already accomplished. 48 pounds is marvelous!!! Start looking inside yourself. When you stick to the plan you develop for yourself, the excess weight has NO CHOICE but to fall off of you. I remember, I went through several stalls and yes, it was discouraging. Don't let the depression overtake you. Take one day at a time. Exercise, make healthy food choices for today! That will be your pattern for the rest of your life. If you make it too difficult for yourself, then in reality it will be too difficult to be something that you will do every day for the rest of your life. Yes, you must be strong and push your body to some degree.But like I said, that point is different for us all. Find what works for YOU. I've read that you can actually overwork your body and it will cause your muscles to swell and you will retain water because of it. I don't personally know how true this is. But, I read it in a health magazine years ago. I know when I was discouraged I came here to OH for input and so many people on here have helped me along my weight loss journey. Sometimes I would just come here and read other peoples stories and it would help keep me focused and encouraged. To this day I come to OH every day and find someone who needs encouragement. In helping others it keeps me focused and motivated and reminds me where I came from. I just celebrated my 2 year anniversary of my VSG surgery last week. I have maintained my 80 pound weight loss for about 14 months now. I would like to lose about 15 pounds more but, I am healthier than I have been in years and thankful for where I am. God bless you and just know that YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!!!!
   — Jodi L.

June 21, 2010
Please,please do not be so hard on yourself. You have to let your body heal from the most drastic surgery possible. I cant exercise at all. I have severe fibromyalgia. My surgery was on Nov. 23,2009.I was dying. I had congestive heart failure, lymphodema in both legs and chronic asthma. Im 7 mths out and without excersising beyond walking around the inside of the house, Ive lost 110lbs. I go sometimes a mth to 6 weeks without losing a lb but my body just keeps changing. Measure yourself once a week and see the difference. I always get in my protein and my water and it will come off. We are all friends here and we welcome you into our fold. Im hugging you now, do you feel it? Now my hair is falling out but that cant be helped either with the bioten I take every day or the wishing it would stop. It took years for me to screw up my body like I did. Now I have a chance to live another yr or two and it is wonderful.
   — suzette N.

June 21, 2010
Which surgery did you have? I had a very aggressive one, the bileo-pancreatic diversion with the duodenal switch and vertical sleeve gastrectomy, and I took over a year to lose from 205 lbs to 135 lbs.....I met a guy in my support group who lost 90 lbs in 3 months with my surgery, but he also had complications with dehydrations. I've had zero complications...
   — Melinda B.

June 22, 2010
Hey everyone its Lee....thank you all so much for your input...or output whatever way you want to look at it...I have family to talk to buy no one understands like someone in your situation...a lil more about me I had this surgery because I found out I was in liver failure..fatty liver disease..like alocholica but just from eating crap when I found that put I completely changed what my family of 5 including myself was eating...I had a son who sr 11 weighed the same as sn overweight adult and two other unhealthy children...so surgery wasn't just for me to be healthy and have newer lease on life but for my kids...since surgery i've now lost 51 pounds now...but altogether 87 pounds..part of me is wondering if my body is going WTH...is going on here I have been overweight since I was a small child we weren't taught about exercise the way we should have been or healthy eating until I was way overweight and at that point I didn't care anymore...when I looked at my son and saw me...it broke my heart in two...my son has lost 30 pounds...woohoo go D... And his doctor who hounded me for years about weightloss...hugged me and said wow... My other kids 2 girls are also doing well..and even my husband rats healthy once in awhile... I AM exercising like this because I NEVER in my life exercised and I don't want to have gone through this whole process and want to look back saying why did I half a$$ it...I want exercise to be in my life I want to run a race and finish...and I want my family and friends to look to ME for inspiration....you have all helped in little ways and I can't write to you all the way I would like...I'm on a phone when I can I will get to the library and yet and contact you guys..and girls so that I can have friends to vent to cry to....and eventually celebrate with thank you all. LEE
   — LilLeeThatsME10




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