Question:
How do I deal with meals at a family get together?
I haven't had my surgery yet but this has been heavy on my mind. My family love food and get togethers. I do the BBQing and so forth. How can I explain I can't eat that? I so want this surgery to work , I don't want to mess up. Thankyou for your help. — Thelma S. (posted on May 16, 2006)
May 16, 2006
Hi Thelma,
I am one week post-op and I still have these questions. I don't think it
is realistic to not eat grilled food again. Obviously, I will not be
seeing certain foods again, but most foods will be able to be eaten in much
smaller portions. Good luck in your decision, Linda K
— lkirshstein
May 16, 2006
Hi,
I am five months out and have adjusted quite well to eating with
family and in restaurants. I have to admit, my eyes are always bigger than
my stomach and I never finish the food on my plate. (this is a new concept
for me, after years of "cleaning my plate!)
After the initial healing of your new pouch, you'll find you are able
to eat lots of your favorites, albeit in smaller amounts.
The most important thing I have found is to eat slowly and this can be
difficult when surrounded by people and distracted. If I eat too fast, I
will be very uncomfortable and eventually vomit.
Our cookout this weekend, I was able to eat 1/2 cheeseburger and two
bites of potato salad and a tablespoon of baked beans. I ate slowly over a
period of twenty minutes.
I was very full and should probably have eaten less than 1/2 the
cheeseburger, but being the first cookout of the year, it was so good!
Try not to worry or focus on what you may or may not have to do
without.........instead focus on all the new things you'll be able to do
and how much better you'll feel.
— LauraA
May 16, 2006
Thelma, I have found it much easier to NOT explain. I try not to call any
attention to my eating, just take what I like and eat what I can. If
anyone asks about the amount or seconds or any other number of things I
just say (often having to repeat) :"no thanks" or "I'm
full", "I'm great" "I had a snack before I got
here" etc. If someone is bone headed enough to badger me I have been
known to snipe back "if I need anything I'll be sure to alert
you." That usually ends it. Just so you know my family are
ex-restaurantuers and my husband was a chef. Best of luck to you, just
remember only you are in charge of what you eat.
Carla P - RNY - 362/157
— carlaplank
May 16, 2006
Hi Thelma - it really depends on if you plan on telling the folks at your
get to together that you have had the surgery. If yu plan on telling them,
then no biggie, just expain about your new tummy. The more difficult
scenario (like me) I didn't tell anyone except for my hubby. At first it
was extremely difficult, I had to say things like, I am not feeling very
well right now, or I ate a big breakfast or dieting etc. Now that I am
about 7 months post op, I am able to at least eat child sized portions and
I just explain that I eat lots of small meals throughout the day and they
can see that I have lost about 85 pounds so now they are all trying to eat
like me LOL...
Hope that helps, Kim
— kimmy
May 16, 2006
I'm one week out also so haven't done it yet, but all my friends and family
know I had the surgery and are all very supportive of it. If its a family
or friends BBQ then you shouldn't have to explain if they know. My kids
feel weird eating in front of me but I remind them that its okay and I just
eat my sf jello. :-) For me, honesty is the best policy.
— sarahp1101
May 16, 2006
Hi, I'm going on 8-months post-op and I too had that fear about
"family dinners". What I have found is that there is no real
pressure about what I can eat and if someone does say something to me...I
just reply with...no thank you or I don't eat that. Sometimes there is
someone who wants to know why or tries to insist that I try a bite, but I
usually can get around them by saying that there is a kid that needs that
bite more than me and then add that they can burn it off faster than me
too. Laugh and walk away. Do what ever you know is right. People will
understand and if they don't well...too frickin bad. This surgery is about
you. Good luck. Judy
— J.Bug
May 16, 2006
Hi Thelma,
I am 8weeks out and I know about family gatherings. My family eats like the
"klumps" LOL...and thats no joke. we all race to out eat each
other, it is really sick. What I do in this situation keep busy with the
other activities, like fixing other peoples plates,playing spades or
dominoes and clean up. I keep so busy nobody even notices that i only had a
bit of potatoe salad and 2spoons of baked beans & maybe 1 rib if I am
lucky :-) Good luck to you
— toni J.
May 16, 2006
Hello, I am almost 2 years out and so far have maintained my goal for one
year. After awhile you will know what You can eat and what you can't. Every
Post op is different. Just make something you know you can eat and bring it
with you if your going to someone else's house. I ALWAYS carry a few packs
of Peanut butter crackers with me in case there is nothing for me to eat.
— smparker2
May 17, 2006
I had the same concerns. Fos is such a big part of the social culture here
in the USA. I am almost three years post op. I had a BBQ this weekend and
literally had about 2 tablespoons of potato salad, one large rib and a bit
of green salad. In the beginning of this weightloss journey I busied myself
with other things to make it easier on myself. Now I can enjoy the food and
not focus so much on the quantity. Others around me have gotten used to me
taking a slower time to eat and also to the small amounts that I eat. I
agree with the other folks...if you don't want to share with those at a BBQ
why you aren't eating...tell them you eat smaller meals throughout the day
or that you are watching your food intake etc. Best of luck to you! Lisa
D -138lbs/3 years Post Op
— Lisa D
May 18, 2006
I don't understand the problem. I am 2.5 years post op from gastric
bypass, and eating with family or at a restuant was never a problem.
There are so many medical issues, and diets that everyone needs to eat
different. My sister can not have anything with peanut oil, and is
allergic to shell fish, my whole family is diabetic and can not eat sugar
............ You go to a place to eat, be it family or out to eat, put
something in your purse or backpack that you can eat, then have fun. You
are having this surgery to be normal again, do not make it so hard. The
first stage is liquid or soft foods, so bring a back up, a protein shake
and yogart, and if anyone says anything, just tell them you are on a diet
or not hungry. If you are at the second stage, have some grilled chicken
and a small bite of potatoe salad, but bring back up food to everything. I
keep a protien bar in my purse at all times, and always a bottle of water.
The get togethers are for the people first, and food second. Just tell
them you have special needs when eating, let it go at that. My family
wants to know if they need to make a special dish for anyone, the host
wants to make everyone comfortable and would probley appreciate knowing of
any special needs. My sister can not eat anything grilled on the same
grill as shrimp, so they have to cook on a different grill if there is
shrimp.
When you go out to eat, just order what you can eat, and take the left
overs home with you, normal people without surgery eat like that.
— cindy
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