Question:
What changes has WLS had on your socializing?
I will be scheduling my lapRNY very soon. My social life is mainly going for dinner or drinks with friends ( I live in Africa so movies, concerts, etc. are not options). I am concerned that the surgery will limit my socializing. Will I be able to eat not a soupt to nuts meal but has anyone found this difficult? — jackiminustah (posted on January 2, 2008)
January 2, 2008
I'm going to be brutally honest with you here. This is a permanent change.
You will not be able to do those things. If you work with yourself to
return to all the old habits, you will be setting yourself up for defeat
and failure. Your head will still want to eat, but your pouch will say
"no"! You have to make a lifelong commitment to undo the damage
that was done by poor choices. That said. Good luck and Best wishes in
improving you health and life. Lesleigh07
— lesleigh07
January 2, 2008
I know what you mean. I had the same concerns which is one of the reasones
I chose to have the Duodenal Switch surgery. I have lost 180 lbs and am 3
1/2 years post op. THere is D DS board here on OH but also check out
DuodenalSwitch.com and best of luck on your journey!!
— SameButDifferent
January 2, 2008
I have been able to go out to dinner, but just not a whole meal. I have
ordered an appetizer and requested it to be served when the rest of the
table gets their meal. It's worked out well. It does take a little bit of
planning, however. You need to know that the restaurant you're going to
has food you can eat. But, you can work this out. Good Luck!
— Shirley D.
January 2, 2008
You have to really think about what you can and can not eat. Some places
are better than others. You will also learn what restaurants offer a
better selection. I always have leftovers which makes the guys in my house
happy. You can order off of the children's menus in lots of places but
there aren't always good choices there! In short it takes lots of planning
but is doable!
— Andrea H.
January 2, 2008
I have a differant solution to this question. Both Lesleigh and the others
offer good answers, but why not find other ways of socializing. Join a
health club and work-out together. Swimming? Walking? Be creative......
Good Luck!
— Toni Todd
January 2, 2008
Hi- i had to really think on this one, so i could give you my best
opinion. yes there are several ways to have surgery done. either lab-band
RNY - Vertical Sleeve... but you know none of these are a easy surgery.
this is a decision that is made by ones choice, on which is best for them.
i had the lap rny and i feel it was the best choice for me. i really dont
think i was ever worried if my social life would change, because I DIDNT
HAVE ONE.. i didnt like the way i looked or felt, so going out was not of
interest to me. it is nice that you can go out and mingle, and still feel
good about yourself! but i am confused, are you more worried about the
people you would socialize with? or making your w/l # 1 ? i gave up so
many things i loved. including CHOCOLATE!!! because it did nothing but add
to my hips :( i would rather be a bore at a party, than the one who pigs
out in a corner!! may sound hard, but ya know i learned a long time ago to
quit living my life for other people. you have to do whats in your heart.
and if this surgery is your main focus then you do it. ... well wish you
the best of luck...
— kimcrain
January 2, 2008
This question really made me think. This is because I have socialized
around meals for so long. But not just eat eat eat, real socializing. For
me, it has not changed. I can still go out for a meal with friends and/or
family. We center the meals around catching up and conversation. My best
friend and I did the whole WLS thing together so most often we split an
appetizer or small meal. After you have surgery you can also use your card
to order off the kids menu (I've had no problems from anywhere using the
card). So, my social life as regards to meals has not changed except for
the fact that I get full (I do eat slowly and deliberately). I've even
been to a party where I got the food I wanted to have on my plate, even if
I couldn't have it. I just moved it around. Ate the stuff I knew was okay
for me. No one even noticed I had hardly eaten a thing (as compared to
past Christmas parties). Good Luck, Leslie
— LuvNSummer
January 2, 2008
This question really made me think. This is because I have socialized
around meals for so long. But not just eat eat eat, real socializing. For
me, it has not changed. I can still go out for a meal with friends and/or
family. We center the meals around catching up and conversation. My best
friend and I did the whole WLS thing together so most often we split an
appetizer or small meal. After you have surgery you can also use your card
to order off the kids menu (I've had no problems from anywhere using the
card). So, my social life as regards to meals has not changed except for
the fact that I get full (I do eat slowly and deliberately). I've even
been to a party where I got the food I wanted to have on my plate, even if
I couldn't have it. I just moved it around. Ate the stuff I knew was okay
for me. No one even noticed I had hardly eaten a thing (as compared to
past Christmas parties). Good Luck, Leslie
— LuvNSummer
January 2, 2008
I am a newbie, but I did discuss this with my surgeon pre-surgery. I am
40, and my husband and I like going out with friends and business
associates, and yes...it usually involves eating and or drinking. At this
point, I don't see why my socializing would have to suffer. I can still go
to virtually any restaurant and have "something". As long as the
rules are followed (protein first, then veggies/fruits, then carbs if there
is room). If I choose to have a glass of wine, I can. Personally, I would
nurse that glass all night, due to the fact that alcohol is absorbed
differntly post WLS. But why not live within the world we live...just live
without excess, like most of us have not been able to do in the past.
Control is the key, IMHO. Talk to your doctor and get his / her opinion on
all of this, too. God bless...
— Lisa S.
January 2, 2008
I also meet friends often for dinner, drinks or such. I am 3 months out
from Lap RNY and I still go out with them. While I understand why people
would say you need to change your habbits you also need to make this
surgery part of your life. My surgeons recommend that you don't drink
alcohol but if you are to wait a year post surgery. So when I go out I
drink something other than alcohol. My friends know about my surgery and
I am very fortunate that I haven't had problems with most food. I don't
generally have a problem finding foods that I can eat at resturants. I
also focus on Protein first, veggies and then carbs. Now it will be more
difficult if you are going out to dinner at a friends house. I know that I
was worried about attending a event early on and I asked the hostess if I
could bring my own food (2 oz chicken salad) because, I wanted to ejoy
their company but I was worried about getting sick from new foods. It
ended up working out great and I actually ate one of her meatballs instead
of my chicken salad.
Good luck. It is very possible to go out and socialize after surgery, the
difference is that you focus on your friends and the conversation not the
food.
Amy
— Radgalut
January 2, 2008
Hello. I had the very same question when I was researching the wls
options. A lot of my socializing involves dining out with family, friends,
former co-workers, etc., and it is something I have always looked forward
to and enjoyed. I asked about this when I had my surgery
consultation...the program coordinator I was dealing with was a former wls
patient. She told me "of course you can still go out dining...you
can't eat as much as you used to, but you can make good choices and you eat
what you know you can and take the remainder home in a doggy bag". I
thought that was a perfectly sensible answer...and think of the money you
will save on groceries...lol I don't intend to decline invitations to go
out dining for any occasion...I am having this surgery so I can get my life
back and dining out happens to be one of the things that we do to celebrate
occasions and get together to chat. Go for it...enjoy...and just make the
good choices off the menu. Good luck.
— Linda R.
January 2, 2008
Please I am 9 months out I have beenable to date and eat a nice dinner have
a glass of wine not more cuz it goes straight to your head!! LOL I am a
very social persona dn I am getting divorced since I had WLS and I love my
new single and very social life!! I order salads, protein and sometimes I
may even had a bit of bread or baked potatoe, at this point I am doen
almost to goal and most people think no wonder she is so skinny she barely
eats..LOL no one ever comments and I don't say! I eat until I am satisfied
not until I am full!! I drink a glass of wine and I finish it by the time
everyone is finished there 2nd one.... WLS is the best thing I have ever
done! Good luck
— Elisa S.
January 2, 2008
There are still plenty of ways you can socialize, even if it involves
meeting some friends out for a drink. That doesn't mean that you need to
have an alcoholic drink. I still meet up with my friends for happy hour,
and yes I will order a drink every now and then. Just don't get in the
habit of allowing yourself a drink every night, there is a tendency of
becoming dependent on alcohol after the surgery since we cannot eat a lot.
As far as dinner goes, at first I hated going out to eat because there
wasn't a good selection of items that I could eat that sounded good. Now,
I don't have many problems. A few weeks ago I even ordered a hamburger and
fries from Chilis, I didn't touch the fries and I ate maybe a 1/4th of the
burger but that was all I needed to be satisfied. Good Luck.
— *Malena* M.
January 3, 2008
It will be difficult at first since you really won't be able to eat much.
As time goes by, you will be able to share a meal with someone or order
soup. That is what I usually do. I very rarely drink anymore.
— Carlyn M.
January 3, 2008
Where do you fine "the card" to use in restaurants so you can
order off the child's menu?
— Brenda H.
January 4, 2008
Americans are all getting so fat because we call food eating events,
socializing. I was one of the worst, eating somting for hours and calling
it a snack, and then going out to eat after the socializing event. WLS
will create a new set of rules for you, but that does not mean that life as
we know it is over. I now enjoy watching people eat, while I work with a
glass of water or some times a 1/2 glass of wine. A full glass needs to be
spread over 4 hours. I always find someting to eat, and I eat only what I
know I should. Most resturants will bend over backwards to help you if you
just give them a heads up before arriving. I tell them I have had surgery
and have a very limited diet that I can eat and I want to join my freinds.
I think I get the best service and am treated like a VIP by many of our
regular places. I tip well and eat little. That good tip will get your
great service and attention to your needs next visit.
— William (Bill) wmil
January 4, 2008
No - Not at all difficult.
— [Deactivated Member]
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