Question:
feeling harassed by surgeon
I've lost close to 70 lbs since RNY on 11/18/08, weighed in 297lbs. My surgeon keeps telling me I am not losing weight fast enough. I am proud of my weight loss but wondering if anyone else has had this experience? Of course I have emotional issues about my weight and his comments don't help. — ranell1 (posted on March 26, 2009)
March 26, 2009
I haven't had the surgery yet (end of April) but I think 70lbs is
AWESOME!!!!!! And from all I have read here that sounds about
normal.....what kind of surgeon is he?????!!!! He doesn't sound very
professional or courteous at all(lost his bedside manner)! Hugs... Donna
— gonnabethinfinally
March 26, 2009
As a physician I feel I can comment on doctors. We all have different
styles of trying to motivate our patients. I'll use the example of quiting
smoking. I have a friend from medical school who is a cardiologist. She
literally rants and raves at her patients demanding that they quit a
lifelong habit right now. My approach has always been to try to encourage
success. If I had a patient that was a 3 pack a day smoker who has reduced
to 1 pack I always emphasized the fact they had stopped 2 packs a day and
what help can I give on working on the last pack.I think we have both
helped people quit but I am more comfortable with the more supportive mode.
You are obviously doing well. 70 pounds in 4 months is a lot of weight.
Look within yourself to see how you feel you are doing at following the
rules. Protein first, portion control, don't drink with meals,journel what
you are eating, exercise, and more exercise. If you are doing your best
then you are using your rny tool, period. If you are like most of us there
will always be room for improvement. OK, review what your doing so you can
find something that can be improved and see if that can happen. Realize
that your surgeons personality and experience leads them to interact this
way. I'm not saying this is good as I think it does more harm than good.
Your surgeon isn't likely to be trying to hurt you so either try to let it
flow off and take it as his way of trying to motivate you or confront him
gently with "I am trying to follow all of the rules, here is my eating
journel, my exercise journal, help me with where I can do better" Do
your part then put the ball in his court. I am just starting the journey
(had lap-rny on 3-9-09) but I know positive feedback and accountability to
ourselves can be a powerful combination in overcoming our hurdles. Hang in
there. Kevin
— hapkidodoc
March 26, 2009
You know YOUR DOCTOR IS STUPID THAN. You loose too fast it is not good
and 70 lbs since November is AWESOME...
So try not to let him/her freak you out. Do the best you can and DO NOT
DONOT ALLOW him/her put you in an immotional tetther...... Keep walking
- excerising and eating good healthy meals.. Good luck and keep the
faith you will get there.
— Eneleh
March 26, 2009
Hi Nell, Ya know I think that your weight is absolutely AWESOME!!! It
sounds as if your surgeon has some unrealistic expectations ans is
emotionally abusing you. As an overweight person I believe we abuse
ourselves in more ways imaginable. Stand tall.Be proud and try your best to
ignore his disparaging remarks. Im not suggesting you ignore his
"MEDICAL"advice,just his personal opinion. In the long run it
truly is YOUR own opinion that really matters. Be good to yourself and
believe in yourself. Good luck and God Bless! Kim
— kurtsgirl
March 26, 2009
I had mine on Nov 5/08 and have lost 80 lbs with 15 of that pre-op so I
have lost less than you and my doctor says I am doing just fine. Strange
how doctors differ.
You are doing AWESOME IMHO. I will try to do better myself now.
Sheri
— sheri139
March 26, 2009
I had my RNY donein 2006 at the same place, only I had Dr. Feng. That is
strange that he would tell you that; knowing that people lose weight at a
different pace. I'm sorry to hear that you feel he is harassing you.
Perhaps you should call him or email him and tell him your thoughts on
this. Maybe you misunderstood his intensions. I am not saying he didn't
do this, but I certainly would confront him about this. Best Wishes and 70
lbs is a great lose. I hope your emotional issues about your weight are
the fact that you are doing great. That is wonderful knowing you are
losing. Emotional issues can be positive issues.......
— Kristy
March 26, 2009
Your surgeon has no people skills and is about as sensitive and caring as a
brick wall. I can honestly say, and I am not just saying this to make you
feel better - that your weight loss so far is excellent and you are
definitely going to lose more. Ignore the jackass, and if I were you, I
would not go to see him again, ever. You have healed and recovered from
your surgery, and you can very well do follow up care with your own family
Doctor.
— Gina S.
March 27, 2009
Dr. Flowers is right as are the responders who commented on your doctor's
style. I was going in for my 6 month check up and a coworker commented that
she thought I had lost 80 pounds. At the doctor's office I had lost 60 some
pounds and when I mentioned what my coworker said the doctor said that if I
had lost 80 pounds in that time span they would have hospitalized me. So
your 70 pounds is great!
— Muggs
March 27, 2009
— trinity P.
March 27, 2009
I had my RNY on 12/1/2008, two weeks after. I have lost 65lbs. I saw my
Dr. Yesterday and she is very happy with my weight loss. She said I am
right in the middle. Not too much, not too little. I am sorry to hear you
Dr. is not so supportive.
— Jamie B.
March 27, 2009
That's close to 20 pounds a month! Good for you! Don't let him get you
down--I think it's great! Keep up the good work!
NERNA 50
— nerna50
March 27, 2009
I had my surgery on Nov 5, 08 and have lost 78 lbs (only about 7 of that
was pre-op. Looks like we're in just about exactly the same place. You
doctor is being unrealistic if he expects any more than that. See the
Doctor's comments on motivational styles. I personally do not respond to
the negative kind and it sounds like you don't either. I say you print out
all these responses prior to your next visit and then explain to this
person that you will respond better to a more supportive and REALISTIC
approach. Telling you you did good won't necessarily make you slack off
will it? If you're like me, you're probably doing your best on most days
and that's all anyone can expect from you!
Good luck!!
— Tina G.
March 28, 2009
Hi Nell,
I haven't had my RNY yet. Wow 70lbs is awsome don't let anyone get you
down. I can truely say I'm my worse critic. Just a week ago I was sick
with a ear infection. I had a weight gain due to water weight. I was
close to my goal weight, and gained 6lbs. I was so depressed, but I got
back on the horse so to speak. I'm starting to lose again, and soon I will
be able to see the physiologist.
Be proud of yourself it takes alot of work to do this, and don't let anyone
with negative words bring you down. I'm so Thankful there's a place like
this we can vent our problems and get advise from those who have benn thru
what we are feeling.
Just keep on keepin on I will do the same. I will meet you soon on the
losers bench Hugs Theresa
— treeeza
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