Question:
Want to get back on track, lacking willpower. Please help.

I had the surgery Sept '04 (RNY). I went from 290 to 230 in 6mths. After that, nothing. I failed the surgery. I took advantage of knowing I had a small pouch. For some reason, what I would do is graze all day because I knew I could only put so much in at a time. I found myself eating "meals" every hour, no joke. Then sometimes I would get stomach discomfort as if I were stretching my pouch. That would stop me some, but I would do it again. Now I can eat just as much as before surgery and there's nothing holding me back. Now I'm back up to 270 and I'm so disappointed in myself. I was at 240 just this past January! Sometimes I wish I could turn back and realize this is just a tool. I took advantage of the tool and fail. At first, with all honesty, I didn't realize the pouch could str-r-r-r-r-retch! I just thought that when you ate too much, your body would reject it and then you'd throw up. Then you'd get tired of throwing up and keep making better decisions. In all this time, I've only thrown up maybe 5 times. That's in over 4 years. But now whenever I try to start over with the basics, I have no willpower and I'm still very hungry because my pouch is so large now. I'm afraid of a revision because it was me mentally that made it not work. My doctor cut bigger pouches than what I heard other surgeons do. Maybe that was some of my downfall, but for sure, I blame myself. I wasn't a heavy kid but got my heaviest at about 28 yrs old. I'm 35 now. But when the weight was coming off, I felt like I could see my old self again and wasn't ashamed to go to my hometown and visit, whereas before, I wouldn't go out for fear someone from my past would see me. I hope I get my mind made up to gain control again. I'm sure the "honeymoon" is over and any weightloss efforts now may have nothing to do with the pouch. Has anyone experienced this and got back on track? How did you get through the "basics" with the liquid and so forth? Did your pouch shrink back? What helped you to make your mind over? Thank you in advance for all comments.    — poodie (posted on November 11, 2008)

November 11, 2008
Check out http://www.lifeafterwls.com they have a 5 day pourch test that's supposed to get one back on track. It's a mindset - one has to make up their mind that they need to and want to make a life change commitment. Godspeed. Anita
   — ap2008324

November 11, 2008
Thank you for your honesty. I wish I had an answer for you but I do not. I am pre op and know that the surgery is just a tool but your post is a much needed reminder that one must use the tool correctly or failure is guaranteed! I hope you can find the way back to using good eating to start losing again. Maybe you can use a revision to give you a new start in life. Good luck, my dear. Dawna
   — ptdawn

November 11, 2008
I so admire you for your honesty! I don't have any great answers for you except that you should probably start tracking everything you eat. Maybe on a website like www.thedailyplate.com. Then you will know exactly how many calories, etc you are getting. Are you drinking your liquids and getting in your exercise? All evil things but you have to do them and for the rest of your life. I'm only 5 months out from the sleeve so I'm no real help. But please know that your post made a lot of impact on me and serves as a warning to all of us newbies as to what can happen if we get complacent. My prayers and good wishes go to you. You CAN get back on track! You are strong enough!
   — GlitterGal

November 11, 2008
Hi, I have not had any surgery yet, looking at the Realize lap band, and yes this is not the easiest way to lose the poundage I have put on through out the years. My question to you is do you have support group that you can go back to? Also how about getting some counseling to help you understand why you fell off the wagon sort of speak? I have heard of so many people who have had gastric bypass put thier weight back on, my brother lost over 100 lbs, has put it all back on, my mother also had the surgery and put it back on, so has my sister in law, but there is no support group for them to help them stay on tract, and also all are stubborn and refuse to get counseling to help with dealing with the issues that caused them to put the weight back on ....I talked with a friend of mine today who knows someone here in my home town that has put back on the 100 plus and is totally ashamed of what has happened, but then again, no support group. I have decided that when I need to start attending a support group I will have to travel 1 1/2 hrs to a meeting , but if that is what has to be done, so be it, I do not want to fail at this program like I have so many other diet programs. There has to be some type of mental, or emotional issue in our lives that we never learned to deal with and we use food to comfort ourselves. We need to become healthy again in not just with our weight, but emotional and mentally, spiritually also. I do wish you the best, and pray that you will be able to get back on track, and lose those pounds for your health. God bless you and help you. Farmgirl58
   — Farmgirl58

November 11, 2008
Wow, you sound just like me! I had my original surgery in 1999. My pouch was 65cc vs the 20cc that is now done and only a small part of my intestine was bypass vs the 150cm they do now. I went from 294 down to 220 in about 7 months-then nothing.Slowly the weight has been coming back on and now I'm up to 248 again. While I didn't do the greatest job either in my eating, the surgery ultimately was what failed-not me. Initially when I came to this board, I was going to settle on a revision to RNY. I was even approved by my insurance! But the more research I did, the more I realized that the DS would be best for me. (I was told that the revision to RNY would probably let me lose only 40 lbs at the most and for me that was just not acceptable!) I made an appt with a great DS surgeon and am currently waiting for the surgery to be approved by my insurance company. I know that the DS is going to be my and I am so excited! While I am not trying to convince you to get a revision to DS, I do encourage you to investigate it as a possibility. It offers a wider spectrum as far as eating and malabsorption. Ultimately the choice is yours of course, so good luck with everything!! Take care, Robin
   — Msdragonz

November 11, 2008
I'm sorry you are struggling. I had the RNY in August of 2005 and I too graze all day long. I questioned the whole stretching of the pouch thing to my surgeon and he assured me that there is no way your pouch can stretch that much ? Do the pouch test and see what happens, maybe its something else ? Kelly Dame
   — Kdame

November 11, 2008
Hi Ann, Let me just throw this out there-- IS it possible it would be a good idea to go get some professional counseling so you can get to the root of what makes you eat in the 1st place? Speaking only for myself, I have HUGE problems with "Head Hunger" myself and I'm very concerned about being able to succeed at this after having failed so many other times. I'm 7 days post-op today--if I start grazing like you describe, I'll be taking myself to some therapist who deals with eating disorders. Just a thought....
   — Tina G.

November 12, 2008
I am presurgery, and I am reading, listening and practicing a new way of thinking (for me) using Beck's Diet Solution. I have made some progress, but I need to make much more before surgery. Most local libraries have a copy of the book. I also purchased the workbook and the CD (which I listen to in my car). This is an investment in YOU and your health. There are also wonderful counselors out there who are trained to work with individuals that have eating disorders. Not every counselor you meet will necessarily be a good fit for you. Don't quit. Remember the little engine that could. Another help for me is yahoo groups. I am on every day reading words of support and resources available. Keep reading and writing. Are you journalling your food and exercise? You can do this. You are not a failure. We are all here for the same purpose to lose and maintain. Hugs, hugs, hugs, Maggie
   — IndyRose