Question:
I hit ONEDERLAND on my 5th month anniversary date...now I feel like...

The morning of my 5th month anniversary from RNY I hit one of much anticipated goals... hitting the 100's.... Now, I'm sabatoging myself and I am having a hard time getting it in check. My support group that I attend is over two hours away and meets only once a month, I try to get there as often as possible but I do rely on the OH family for a lot of support, as well... So here I am again, needin' ya'll to kick me in the backside (harder, apparently, than I kick myself already). Everytime I screw up I tell myself to get back in the game and do it right that this was just a slip... but each slip seems to turn into another slip. I do not dump and nothing seems to bother me. I'm so worried that I've ruined my pouch, I've lost sleep over it. Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. As stated above, I go to support group meetings as often as possible, I use fitday religiously, I journal, get my fluids, vitamins, calcium citrate but I also am habitually messing up on top of the positives... H---E---L---P! Frustrated and worried in NC, Leslie    — LuvNSummer (posted on April 23, 2008)


April 23, 2008
Hello Leslie I have not had my surgery yet, but from the sounds of your weight loss thus far, you are doing great. I would love to know more about your excersise, food, and vitamin regimine. Unfortunately, I worry about the same thing after the WLS so, I can't be of help in that area, but don't beat yourself up about a couple week moments, try to identify when, why and what when it happens. Maybe there is an alternative to that food choice or situation. You look wonderful on your site. Keep up the great work and PLEASE believe in you. Tammy
   — tayee24

April 23, 2008
Hey Leslie, first of all...Congrats on the 100 lbs!! I am five yrs out and have "been there, done that". When you say that you are sabatoging yourself...in looking over what you say that you do...you use fitday, you journal, you get your fluids in, your vitamins...the only thing that I can see that you are not doing is...accepting and loving yourself and the accomplishments that you have had! Ok, and you don't make it to your meetings. But being 2 hrs away...I don't think I could/would make each one either. Hey, maybe you could get with your doctor and see about starting a meeting in your area...you can't be the only one who is driving that far away. So, if you remember to do your shakes, your water, get your protein in...then ENJOY new self and your 100 lb loss! Good luck!! Danette
   — Danette C.

April 23, 2008
Leslie -- first of all, congratulations on reaching one of your goals. You're doing very well, and should be very proud of how far you've come. That said, just as this surgery is a tool, your life post-op is a journey, and let me tell you, eight years out from a VBG, it ain't all sunshine and rainbows and kittens. Stuff happens -- repeatedly -- and, step by step, you learn to cope. A question -- how did you react to losing weight BEFORE you had your surgery? Did you get close to/reach a goal, panic, and eat your way back to your comfort zone? The last time I lost a whole ton of weight pre-surgery -- 90 pounds between the births of my two sons -- I took one look at my skinny self in my skinny jeans, promptly got pregnant with son #2, gained every ounce of that 90 pounds back plus another 150 and stayed that way for the next ten years. I was AFRAID to be not even really that thin, but a normal size -- although I wasn't able to really articulate that until after I had my surgery and spent some time in therapy. So is what happening now what happened to you before you had the surgery? If that's the case, recognize your pattern and why you do it, which should make it easier to change it. Awareness, after all, is half the battle. Remember, too, that this surgery can make weight come off you at what seems, sometimes, a quite alarming rate -- and your head isn't keeping up with what the scale says. It's only been five months. You don't need a kick in the backside, sweetie, you need to take it easy on yourself. This is a big change, and sometimes old habits die hard, and I'm sure it took you more than 5 months to be in need of the surgery, so it'll take you more than 5 months to become comfortable with your "new" self. As you say you journal, maybe taking a page or two to think about what you did before when you got within spittin' distance of a weight loss goal might clarify for you what you're doing now. Take it easy --
   — Cheryl Denomy

April 23, 2008
Recognizing what you are doing is a great start to fixing the issue. Next step, counseling. If you cannot attend regular support group meetings, start seeing a counselor. They can give you techniques to battle your eating and to help you with your stress, etc. You most likely did not ruin your pouch, but I suggest trying to refocus on the basics - small portions, focus on what you are eating, stop when you are satisfied. Make sure you are getting in your exercise, too. That helps kick up your metabolism and also your mood. Best wishes!
   — gonnadoit

April 23, 2008
Leslie, you have got to have stay on the path for most of those 5 months because I am close to but not at the 100 mile marker and I am coming up on my 5 th month. I do everything by the book, but I have the support of my family. You have to get rid of the food in the house that you can't have. My family hids their treats, and we have reintroduce softdrinks back to the house, because I am cured of them. We eat out only at better resturants and I order in advance what I want when I travel alone as I can not have the temptation of a menu or a chef that wants to treat me to something. I still log all my food, and I get the they gym every day, even if I have to do it at midnight or 5AM. I wish you the best of success, and if you want to talk, I am glad to call you if you give me your number. I attend three different support groups in St. Augustine, Jacksonville and Orlando. That is a lot of miles, but I enjoy my freinds and we support each other in between meetings. I have many special freinds on this site that write me almost daily, who just are to far aways from Florida but nevery the less lift me up when I am down and put me down when I am getting out of control. I am glad tohelp you through support as well. That is what makes this web site so special. Let me know how you are doing. --Bill
   — William (Bill) wmil

April 24, 2008
You are doing great! Give yourself credit...But also take responsibilty for what you obviously know you are doing wrong too! You've probably added back a few foods you know you should not be eating regularly. Cut them back! Plain and simple. Just limit yourself and do those things in moderation. You will feel more in control if you fill up on dense proteins and no white food carbs including sugar. Eat veggies and fruits and whole grains too, but make protein your main food source...You can find creative substitutes for carbs and breads. You have to totally abuse your pouch to ruin it...Most people can't if they try...But they can find ways to eat the wrong things that do not trigger a full feeling...sliders foods and crackers, pasta, rice, potatoes. White carbs are only sugar raising calories and they make you crave more sugar! Logging your food and getting in your supps and water is awesome! Now log in high protein foods and listen to your pouch...Stop eating when you no longer feel hungry...See how long it takes before you are hungry again...If you eat mostly protein you will train yourself to need food only every 3 hours or longer. You might want to weigh your food so you control the portion each meal until you can recognize what amount you feel satisfied at...rather than eating mindlessly and not measuring portions and forgetting to stop when you are really done. Don't listen to your head...Listen to your pouch! Head hunger is soooo hard to ignore until you can really begin listening to you pouch regularly! Hope that helps!
   — .Anita R.

April 24, 2008
Geez Leslie...I have said this a million times over...PLEASE listen...you MUST celebrate your weight everyday of your life...you have to stop punishing yourself...so many of us focus on portions, dumping, sabotage and we forget to focus on what REALLY matters...and that is that we are unique, beautiful human beings who need to praise ourselve each and every moment of every day...stop saying "screw up" and "worried"...replace those with "growth opportunity" and "motivation"...commit your thinking to POSITIVITY...you have come a long way with the weight loss...celebrate it...focus on the scale dropping each day...deduct 5 lbs (whether you have or not)...and pat yourself on the back and say, "I am thin...I am beautiful"...if you feel it and believe it...your spirit, your body will be in alignment and the weight will come off...stop stressing...relax and accept this beautiful new life that you are living (in the very moment, not a future life with a tiny body)...celebrate the body you have everyday and when you get to the "goal" you will be ecstatic but you gotta realize along the way...you are amazing and worthy...Love & Light...Samantha
   — Samantha M.

April 25, 2008
It can be scary to lose weight. People treat you differently. You FEEL different inside. Even if it is good and proud and excited...you can feel kind of overwhelmed by it all. You can feel like you are out of control, just by continuing to lose weight. What if you turn into a different person. I know, because I felt the same way when I lost 65 pounds on Atkins, and then did the same thing. I second the possible need for counseling. For myself, I've figured out why I do that. It is because having so much excess weight is "safe" in some ways. It puts me outside of a lot of human interaction, and protects me from being hurt. In my mind, I know that is silly...but I still feel protected by the weight. I have to tell myself: "Being 'normal' is safe. I'm ok. I am a strong person and not a victim. I am still ME even when I am thin. I am worthwhile no matter my size...no matter how small I get. " A counselor can help you figure out what is scaring you about losing the weight. For me, it comes back to one event in my childhood where a man exposed himself to me and told me it was because I was 'so pretty'. That's when I started gaining weight. My subconscious decided that it was dangerous to be pretty. That is something I'm still struggling with today...but I am a strong person and I can overcome that sicko. Counseling is helpful with that. Good luck finding out what is scaring you and overcoming it! You can do it! Look how far you've already come! God Bless! April
   — abeeba

April 25, 2008
Leslie, Great job to date- 100# is AMAZING! I recommend forgetting what you did yesterday and moving forward with a positive attitude. Get the junk out of the house, drink lots of water, exercise and try to have one good day. Then, try to have another. A little success goes a long way. Remember to pat yourself on the bag for all of the good stuff and relish in non-scale victories. Back to basics, Dawn Vickers, RN, BLC, CLC
   — DawnVic




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