Question:
Please don't judge me, but I think I may need mental help
I have lost 141 pounds which I know is good, but does anyone out there ever feel like making yourself vomit just to be sure that you are not going to EVER gain back any weight? 2 weeks ago, I gained 4 pounds, last week I lost it again. I am so scared, I never want to be big again. I have myself convinced in my head that throwing up is fine since I take so many vitamins in the morning and don't eat anything that the vitamins absorb and give me plenty of nourishment. I am scared to death to stretch my stomach back out. I know I sound like a genuine nutcase and my man tells me to stop, but I need help from someone who has been there. I also weigh myself once in the morning and once at night before I leave work just to see what the difference is. My coworkers stand outside that restroom at work to try to keep me from throwing up, but I don't care, I do it anyway. Any help would be great. — TraciB06 (posted on May 3, 2006)
May 2, 2006
Traci, I'm 6 days from having surgery. But what you are doing is NOT okay.
Its normal to be scared about gaining the weight back, but that is not the
way to solve the concern. You really need to talk to your doctor and come
up with a plan. You are well on your way to becoming bulimic and anorexic
if you're not eating which in the long run can kill you. Please talk to
your doctor and get some help!!
— sarahp1101
May 2, 2006
Repeated thowing up can get you a ulcer or worse. tough on the pouch. CALL
YOUR SURGEON TODAY! There isa help for YOU!
— bob-haller
May 2, 2006
I think you should talk to a psychiatrist. Your symptoms are a lot like
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It sounds like you're obsessed with your
weight. Your obsession is to be scared and think about gaining weight, and
your compulsion is to make yourself throw up. There's medication out there
that help people out of this miserable pattern. I'm not a doctor, this is
just my humble opinion, but I would see a psychiatrist immediately and
start enjoying life. Either way, Good Luck!
— Frenchie
May 3, 2006
I just read recently that throwing up, especially repeatedly, can cause
problems for your pouch. Just don't do it. See a doctor pronto.
Karen
— KRWaters
May 3, 2006
Congrats on the weight loss, 141 lbs os to be commended. It took a lot of
effort to get where you are today. When you made the choice to have surgery
you made the choice also to change your lifestyle and eatiing habits for
the better. I think everyone who is pre nad post has the same concerns at
some point, I h avne't even had surgery yet and I get scared that I might
gain it all back. Just remember the commitment you made to yourself and
remember if you are eating properly, excerising and doing what your doctor
says then you won't gain back the weight. Keep in mind that your weight
will fluctuate on a daily basis, but your choice of throwing up is not the
answer to losing weight. Not only will is it bad for the pouch, but it also
has horrible effects your body, skin, hair and teeth. Listen to your
boyfriend, he loves you and supports you, make an appointment to see your
doctor and finally if you stopped going to support meetings, go back. Good
luck and again congrats!! I bet you look amazing.
— Jenney
May 3, 2006
I believe you need to face the fact that you are in fact developing an
eating disorder. I say this without judgment in any way, but in concern for
your situation. The more you deprive your body of much needed nutrition
(beyond vites) the more your body will hang on to whatever you do eat. You
are in fact setting yourself up to the do the very thing you are desperate
to avoid. I would suggest that coming here is the first step in admitting
this is becoming a problem, your next step is to get some help. Don't ruin
your health, you worked so hard to get off 141 pounds, why would you want
to trash all that for a few extra pounds? Also, you have to accept that
there is always a possibility of regain, but that doesn't mean it has to
happen to you, even if you are eating. The point of all this was to be
healthy, not skinny.
— Diana M.
May 3, 2006
Hi Traci, I was an anorexic as a teen, now I am 260#. You are correct, you
have an eating disorder. you already have it identified. you have switched
one( overeating) for another, ( vomiting) which is not uncommon..to try
to get some kind of control of your life. Try to feel what emotion you are
trying to avoid instead of vomiting and feel it instead of using the
physical act of vomiting...deal with it..then let your body slowly relax
and calm down, deep breath. you don't want to train your body to release
all sorts of stress hormones into your system for negative responses. call
your MD Tomorrow!!
— DeJay
May 3, 2006
Anorexia and bulemia symptoms in post-ops is NOT uncommon at all. There is
lots of treatment out there for it. If you are following the eating plan
that is recommended for you there is no way you're going to gain the weight
back. I highly recommend supplementing your vitamins with protein shakes
until you get this under control. You can get virtually non-fat, non-carb
protein shake recipes that will at least give your body the protein it
needs not to start cannibalizing itself and eat away your muscle. It will
always keep your teeth, skin and nails from degrading, as well as your hair
from falling out. You need to get this under control because if you don't,
your appearance will be worse than that of a fat person and you will have
to deal with the same marginalizing and rejection - only as an
overly-skinning, unhealthy, toothless, hairless woman. It certainly hasn't
happened to me - I am dealing with regain - but I've seen and heard of it
happening to others. The first step is realizing there is a problem, and
you've done that. Now you just have to CHOOSE to fix it and make the steps
towards doing that. I wish you all the luck in the world. -- Jennifer
— j_coulter
May 4, 2006
Hello there-
I am 2 1/2 yrs post op. I had my RNY when I was 23yrs old. I have ALWAYS
been obese, all my life. 18 months after my RNY I was approved, via health
insurance, for the Panniculectomy (probably spelled wrong) surgery. What
you are experiencing right now is what I went through after my bypass and
quadrupled that feeling after my Panni. I am VERY paranoid. My husband is a
support to me, but since he has never experienced weight issues like us,
his understanding and my accepting of his advice is limited. I spoke to my
surgeon especially when I felt this way. They are a GREAT help, more than
you can imagine. Yeah you can also speak to a psychiatrist, but OUR
surgeons probably hear thoughts like this EVERYDAY from many of their
post-op patients and are prepared for this emotion to be expressed to them.
I still get upset if I FEEL like I have gained weight or if some reason my
pants feel tighter today than yesterday. I have learned though the more I
"feed" into this paranoia by weighing myself everyday the worse
it gets. The mind is powerful. On the weighing yourself excessively
problem-take the scale out of your house. I don't have one in mine. I would
literally drive myself crazy. There also certain times in the day and
evening when you will weigh more and less. Look at it this way, you have
lost 141lbs, if you happen to gain a few pounds here and there so be it.
Ofcourse don't allow yourself to be where you once were, but a few pounds
is okay and is to be expected, per my surgeons. Don't destroy the progress
you have already made and the divine work from your surgeon to get you
where you are today. Your pouch is your friend your bestfriend probably.
This is what is enabling you to lose what you have and still may in the
future NATURALLY. And NO, you are NOT a nutcase. You're just
"damaged" from this excessive weight you have had to carry for
many years (I am assuming) and it's an enemy of yours....of all of US. You
don't want it back. But you know what say hello to your new bestfriend, MR.
Pouch. He has saved you from this predator. It is your guardian angel.
Don't be a "victim" to this weight gain nor fear it. Fear is
what's causing you to feel the way you're feeling. Know you are not going
to gain ALL this weight back again and know it by taking care of yourself
and your tummy. Vomiting is just going to induce injuries to your pouch,
which is what saved us ALL in the first place. I don't think anyone should
pass judgment on you. We all were where we were for a reason. There were
weaknesses being had in each of us. From this somehow we pulled strength to
pursue these surgeries to experience a different lifestyle.....quality.
Think about that it's all about quality now not quantity. Ofcourse watch
your weight, continue taking vitamins, excersing, drinking water, seeing
your surgeons, whatever. But don't take away from the quality of what has
been given to you. I commend you for bringing your thoughts, concerns, and
fears to light and post for the whole world to see and pass judgment on. In
your heading you're already judging yourself publicly. Many of us wouldn't
voice what you have ALREADY done. That's a great step in acknowledging and
accepting there may be a need for concern and help. In your last sentence
you said you didn't care. I beg to differ. If you didn't why would you take
the time to post and ask for help? Acknowledgement. Don't look now, but
your strength is shining through AGAIN as it once did to assist you
following through with this surgery in the frst place. Don't lose it. Win
all the way.
I hope I was some help some way. If not, I appreciate you taking the time
to listen. Best Wishes.
— mdolphin
May 5, 2006
I believe that you should seek some profssional help. You lost the weight
but you had the surgery to get healthy. throwing up will not keep you thin
it will make you sick. Please talk to someone and understand that you are
not a faliure you just need some really good advice.
Take care and if I can help please let me know.
— Kelley Perez
July 2, 2006
Throwing up is not only stressful on your pouch but on your body as a whole
- even your teeth can be ruined. Not to mention that this could lead to an
unhealthy life of anorexia nervosa. You need help in dealing with the
emotional issues of weight loss and issues that lead you to your
pre-surgery weight. Your opening yourself up to even more malnutrition
issues and multivitamins won't help. You need certain fats and vitamins
from foods that will help you absorb the vitamins you're taking in pill
form. See your surgeon or the doc that did your psych consult
fast!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck
— CHARLYLVN
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