Question:
First Intimate Encounter After WLS - Adult Content

I am over a year post-op. I have not dated much due to my weight. Since wls, I have been seeing a man casually for a while. He has invited me for dinner and a "romantic evening" this weekend. I have not had intimate relations in a long time, and I am nervous. Not only about how long it has been and actually remembering how, but all the sagging skin on my body. I'm very much looking forward to our time together, but don't want to spoil it with worry and embarrassment. Any suggestions? Thanks for letting me post something on the controversial side. Please be kind with your responses. I'm not looking for negative flames.    — [Anonymous] (posted on April 17, 2001)

April 17, 2001
I totally agree w/ LeeAnn's response. I would be upfront with this gentleman. I'm on the otherside.. just started dating and trying to explain why I want this surgery and trying to prepare the person for the upcoming changes.. its gonna be huge.... Good luck.. this is surely exciting and stressful.. take it slow.
   — Dawn R.

April 17, 2001
You don't have anything to worry about. Men generally care less about women's body's than women do (especially when it comes to sex). I have been told this by so many men. If you like, you can make sure that the lights are off with the exception of a candle or two. Also, I can't think of any man that is going to have a problem with a woman telling him that she hasn't had relations in a long time. I'm not for telling him that you're concerned about your sagging skin though. That is way too much information for a man to process. If you do decide to tell him, I'd wait until the absolute last minute to keep him from imagining the worst. Good luck! If he truly likes you, none of this should matter.
   — [Anonymous]

April 17, 2001
As a person who just celebrated my 15 year anniversary (15 very rocky years I might add)- I can give you a little advice that worked for me. I wanted something special for our special night. I went to Victoria's Secret (I have never been there before!)and found a very pretty,discreet, classy, silky, sexy, nighty that hid my sagging tummy and thighs and was very elegant. It actually made me feel LESS self concious and even PRETTY. For me, most of it is feeling comfortable about who I am and this really helped, but I had to find something I liked- not something someone else liked- I had to find my own style:) Good Luck! Have Fun!
   — M B.