Question:
How do I get motivate to reach my goal?

I will be 1yr post-op on 8/20 from lap rny. I started out 426 and as of last week weighed 290. The actual weight loss number sounds fine (-136) but I am seeing my family next week and I feel like such a failure because I thought I would look different. Not skinny, just not still sooo fat. The last time I saw them was 1/04 and had lost 80lbs. The worst part is that my eating is out of control and it seems like it's getting worse. I go to the gym and work out with a training 2x a week but still go home and eat junk food. This surgery is something I worked on for over 2 yrs and I feel like I am throwing this gift away. I'm already seeing a psychologist for binge eating/bulimia and am on Lexapro for depression. I guess I just need to hear from those who were at this point and how they broke free and got back on track. Thanks in advance for the support. Vesta    — vesta D. (posted on August 12, 2004)

August 12, 2004
I would exercise everyday and not worry so much about food right now. You have the tool for life. Daily exercise makes you want to eat better. Every time you want junk food, eat a piece of gum. The breath freshening kind, not bubble gum. Also you need to have a hobby to replace food. I joined a softball team and started taking improv comedy classes again.
   — mrsmyranow

August 12, 2004
Well, the recommendations from the exercise physiotherapist at my surgeon's office is to do some form of aerobic exercise 6 days a week and 3-4 times a week I am to do some form of weight resistance training. My aerobic exercise is to be a minimum of 30-45 minutes with me getting my heart rate up to the rate that she set for me of 120-145 beats a minutes. I am out walking and getting that type of exercise in for a minimum of 5 days a week. Sometimes life just gets in the way and I cannot get out and walk all 6 days. I manage to also do my weight training a minmum of 2-3 times a week. You just have to set your mind to the fact of staying away from your cravings for junk food after you come home from the gym. I found a ways back that the first day staying away from the junk was the hardest then it became easy after that and I did not crave the junk anymore. You have worked too hard so far. I would recommend that you up your exercise and get your eating under control and you will see the #s will shed off of you. You are not going to be able to loose much weight before you see your family next week but you can start to do something about your out of control eating.
   — ChristineB

August 12, 2004
You have done a wonderful job even though right now things seem out of control. Hang in there and keep of the exercize that's so important. My weight loss slowed too and I began to feel the same way, no matter how bad you feel you are doing okay... you are not a failure. You are taking very good steps like taking your meds, talking to a professional..you are taking care of yourself. I am still 80lbs overweight by chart and I am down 135. If you are like me---its not connecting how much weight you have really lost. We can do it just keep trying and drink water and stay away from refined sugar. I keep hearing dont deprive yourself, these people have no idea how an eating binge can start. Good luck to you.
   — debmi

August 13, 2004
Vesta, you have done a WONDERFUL job! Congratulate yourself, revel in your success, celebrate yourself!!! Currently you're having a hard time - well, where's the surprise in that? We didn't qualify for surgery because we made excellent food choices and trained for the Olympics! This tool is for life - yes, we can eat around it, and yes, we can lie around not moving our bodies and be general messes. But you're not doing that! You've still got re-plumbed insides and you're working very hard to get yourself back on track mentally and physically. That's tremendous - and you can succeed!!!! Look at what you're doing - you're seeing a therapist, working hard to get over your depression (a DISEASE, not a fault), and you're working out. You're giving yourself more tools to succeed. Build on your success - don't get bogged down feeling like a failure - you're anything but. You're on the road to regaining your health. We've had a lifetime of beating ourselves up over weight - and that leads to true defeat. Be proud of yourself Vesta - you've earned it in spades! And enjoy seeing your family! Good luck to you in your marvelous journey - Bette
   — [Deactivated Member]

August 13, 2004
I second everyone else's opinion here. However, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT? This is only a tool and if your eating is out of control and everything else you are doing "right", can you answer my question? Stress and depression I understand and I know how you feel, but how bad do you want it? Just keep asking yourself that each time you start to eat out of control. Do you want to soothe the stress and depression with that bite of food, and the next and the next and the next and ..... or do you want to be who you really want to be? You are in control. You can do it!!!!
   — Megan *.

August 13, 2004
I appreciate all the responses and support. Megan, I think that's part of my problem. Sometimes I feel like I don't really want to loose the weight. I want to stay fat because that's what I know. I KNOW that sounds stupid but I've been fighting against prejudice my whole life as an morbid obese person. Now I feel like people are looking at me waiting for me to get to this great "achievement" of not being fat. I can't handle that part either and that's what leaves me feeling like a failure. Even if I loose another 100 pounds, how long will it take me to get there?? And in the meantime, I will still be fat. That thought outweights any percieved success. Vesta
   — vesta D.

August 13, 2004
Vesta, from your last comments, I think its a good thing that you are seeing a psychologist. These feelings you are having of remaining fat because its all you know and feeling like a failure are all issues that the psychologist can help you with. Please leave yourself open to their help. My intial response after reading your question was to say that if you come home from the gym and eat junk food, why do you have junk food in the house? Get rid of all the bad crap and fill the house with easy to reach for good stuff like cut up veggies with lo-cal dips, cheese and crackers, protein bars etc. Make a yummy protein shake and use as a reward for working out-you can really dress them up. for instance, in the blender add 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder, handful of ice and about 8 oz of water, 1/2 banana, couple of frozen strawberries or blueberries, some sweetener, vanilla, few tablespoons of no fat yogurt and blend. YUM..or try chocolate powder, water and ice, sweetener,and add 1/2 a banana or try chocolate powder with a tablespoon of peanut butter in the blender. And best of all, if you make yourself a protein shake instead of reaching for junk food, you will feel better about yourself knowing that you have done something good for you instead of guilty because you ate junk. Vesta, we cannot change your behavior for you nor make you want to like yourself or take pride in yourself. You have to do that for yourself. Look at it as working towards regaining health and not to get skinny. Don't concern yourself over what others think of you-its what you think of you. You can do this, and we'll be here cheering you on.
   — Cindy R.