How do I get motivate to reach my goal?

I will be 1yr post-op on 8/20 from lap rny. I started out 426 and as of last week weighed 290. The actual weight loss number sounds fine (-136) but I am seeing my family next week and I feel like such a failure because I thought I would look different. Not skinny, just not still sooo fat. The last time I saw them was 1/04 and had lost 80lbs. The worst part is that my eating is out of control and it seems like it's getting worse. I go to the gym and work out with a training 2x a week but still go home and eat junk food. This surgery is something I worked on for over 2 yrs and I feel like I am throwing this gift away. I'm already seeing a psychologist for binge eating/bulimia and am on Lexapro for depression. I guess I just need to hear from those who were at this point and how they broke free and got back on track. Thanks in advance for the support. Vesta

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