Question:
Did any of you spend your hospital time completely alone?
My girlfriend who had said "I will help you through this" told me last night that her plans had changed and she could take me and pick me up but could not be there during my stay. Will I be shoved in a corner and forgotten. I'm a strong person and don't mind pushing a button for help, but I've had plenty of relatives in the hospital where the help just was not available through the staff. Help! I'm scared and thinking of not doing this on May 14. I'm divorced and my recent boyfriend has disappeared, probably afraid I would ask something of him. Will I live? I am so upset I could not even go to work this morning! — Sharon B. (posted on April 25, 2003)
April 25, 2003
Honey, I'm going to be alone as well. My mother was going to come but then
said she wasn't. You won't be alone or forgotten. The nurses will take
care of you. Granted, its going to be boring. You'll want to bring
something to pass the time...books, videos...When I had my c-section I was
alone almost completely for 5 days. You'll be ok.
— Renee B.
April 25, 2003
First of all YOU'LL LIVE! .. Second... take a DEEP breath, and go to the
site here to 'ANGELS' ... THESE are people in your area that WILL check on
you and, im sure there is somebody that might even be able to sit with you
a while. Any surgery is scarey... more so if your alone... BUT it doesnt
mean you cant get thru this! Hopefully, with an ANgel; but if NOT with
YOU! If you have come this far, you have strength somewhere in side
you.... tell YOURSELF you will have help! Even under normal circumstances,
nurseinghelp can be limited; I didnt have anyone really that could stay all
the time, so if you drop something on the floor you might not be able to
'pick it up' ok... just chant "I can do this, I can do this". If
no angel does your doctor have a support group after surgery? If so, maybe
someone from the 'group' can stop by and visist. Good luck...
— star .
April 25, 2003
i did not want anyone there to watch me in my misery! when yiou get home
you will need someone help, but in the hosptial you won't, you can get help
if needed! alone at home, thats a different story! there is not much anyone
can do for oyu in the hosptial anyway, so i would not feel bad if you will
be there alone!
— janetc00
April 25, 2003
I agree with the other poster. I want to be left alone when I'm not
feeling well. If you really fear the situation of not having anyone
advocate for you with the hospital staff, talk to your surgeon. His/her
staff can probably support you if any problems come up. I didn't need my
surgeon's intervention after surgery but I had another hospitalization
following a car accident where the staff was feeding me *pureed foods*
because it said gastric bypass on my chart and I was 10 weeks out!!!
Needless to say, I wasn't eating anything (I have never eaten pureed
foods!). I raised the HELP flag to my WLS surgeon's nurse manager and she
read them the riot act for not listening to me and educated them about my
needs. My surgeon's staff are true patient advocates. Check with your doc
and see if his staff will do the same. It might ease your fears.
— susanje
April 25, 2003
Do you have any family? I have to honestly say that I was glad that only
my hubbie and kids came to see me, I was a mess and was not really up for
lots of visitors. I had my surgery a couple of days before the big
blizzard that we got this year, so it really limited my visitors. Don't
cancel your surgery. If you have any problems while in the hospital with
staff just ask to speak with the nurse manager or if its after hours the
nursing supervisor. I know that they will come (I am a nurse), hospitals
are becoming big on giving excellent customer service. You've come to far
to give up now.
— Mary R.
April 25, 2003
I'm sorry you will be alone, but you can do this. I was by myself for most
of the days so that my husband could be off from work once I got home. I
had a really nice roommate in the hospital who always had visitors and they
were very gracious to me - helping me when the phone rang but was out of
reach, picked up stuff when I dropped it, etc. I would recommend that you
call for your nurse as soon as you feel pain, if you are not on the pump,
and not wait until you can't bear it any longer since it will take them
time to get to you. Also, ask about every medication they give you and know
you are supposed to have it. During the night, they almost gave me my
roommate's breathing medication through my IV, but I asked what it was for
first and that's when they realized their (almost) mistake. Another
suggestion: make sure you check over what they give you to 'eat' and don't
eat anything you are unsure of. Final suggestion: make sure you take
something to entertain yourself like something to read. Good luck to you.
— Yolanda J.
April 25, 2003
I was dropped off at the hospital by my family, they made sure i made it
out of surgery and then left. I was alone the whole time i was at the
hospital except for a few phone calls from friends I was on my own. The
hospital staff took notice of my 4 day stay with no visitors and they all
came to visit me on their shifts.They took super good care of me and never
left me alone for to long without checking in on me. I lived 3 hours away
from the hospital so that is why i had no visitors. I had some one pick me
up when I was released. It really wasn't that bad and I made alot of
friends so when I go back for my tummy tuck i hope they remeber me cause
I'll be alone again! Best wishes....
— Leslie A.
April 25, 2003
Sharon, unless you expect to be waited on hand and foot, you will be fine.
I doubt you will be shoved in a corner and forgotten. What you need to do
is realize that you will be responsible for yourself to some extent, even
in the hospital. You need to make sure you cough and deep breathe every
hour you are awake, and use your incentive spirometer so you don't get
pneumonia or collapsed lungs. You need to get up and walk as soon as
possible, or at least do ankle pumps and tense and relax you thigh muscles
and calf muscles frequently (helps keep the blood from pooling and causing
blood clots) even if you have the alternating pressure leg wraps on. You
are correct that most hospitals are not overflowing with staff. I did not
have anyone stay with me, and I got along just fine. Just don't expect
someone to be there in a flash whenever you push that button. There is
probably someone down the hall who is worse off and needs more attenetion.
Try to do as much for yourself as you can and you will be fine! Good luck!
I sure wouldn't cancel my surgery for this reason!
— koogy
April 25, 2003
I went out of town for my surgery. One daughter took me and stayed until I
was out of surgery. My other daughter came to pick me up and take me home.
I didn't not have any visitors and I was glad I didn't. All of my nurses
were terrific. They want you up and walking as much as possible. I would
walk down the hall and get my own popsicles. I did need help when I had a
bowel movement and when I showered, but they were always right there to
help. Don't worry, everything will be fine.
— jan M.
April 25, 2003
Sharon...I am still pre-op and waiting for my surgery date. I will pretty
much be alone when I have my surgery. We live almost 300 miles from the
doctor who will be doing my surgery. And since we have small children my
husband will be there the morning of surgery and come back for me the day I
get released. I am kind of scared too. But you want to knwo something? I
am more scared of what my life will be like if I do not have this surgery.
Maybe you can find an angel in your neck of the woods. Maybe he or she can
come in once and day and check on you. There are so many people on this
website I am sure you will be able to find someone who would be willing to
be your angel. Best of luck! Keep your chin up! Everything will work
itself out.
— Maria S
April 25, 2003
Hi Sharon,
My Dh and son took me to the hospital, and then left after I was brought up
to my room. We lived 2 1/2 hours away. They were not able to come and
visit, but I actually enjoyed the time alone. But I was glad when they
came to pick me up!!You will be fine....Good luck
— Cindy G.
April 25, 2003
My advise...spend your time thinking about a "NEW" boyfriend.
— Jon S.
April 25, 2003
I've had fourteen surgeries in my life, and perhaps twice I had any
vistors. :( Anyway, I got through it. YOU CAN TOO! But GET A PRIVATE ROOM!
Read my profile about my hospital stay for WLS if you want to know why.
Never again will I have a roommate. I learned the hard way. Also, I've
found out something that you should do in the hospital... that is CALL FOR
PAIN MEDS BEFORE YOUR PAIN IS BAD. Sometimes it will take 15-90 minutes
before you get it! If you wait until it's bad, you are really going to be
hurting. Just get that private room so you can get some sleep. Three days
and I got none.
— Danmark
April 25, 2003
Don't worry about it! The nurses will be your greatest comfort. Not
having people there will let you relax. I had my parents there but they
werent there the whole time. The nurses gave me the most help and they are
who you will really need. Don't let this be the reason that you would not
change life for the better. I know you will do great!
— Mary H.
April 25, 2003
Do you have a support group yet? Your surgeon should have a support group
and contact info for the group and you can ask one of them to help. If
there is no support group, ask the surgeon for the name of one of his
patients in the local area that he thinks would help out. My surgeon has
the very first patient he did surgery on over 2 years ago. Whenever anyone
has questions, needs some hospital support or after care help, the doc
calls her up to help out...
— Cindy R.
April 25, 2003
My fiance was there and I told him to GO HOME!!!! I hated waking up and
having him starring at me, I got no rest. You want to take advantage of
resting in the hospital because you won't be "taken care of" at
home. When you have visitors you feel as though you have to entertain them
while they are there, don't worry. I personally enjoyed sending everyone
away.
— I U.
April 25, 2003
Sharon, I was 8 days in the hospital. My son and a couple we are friends
with took me to the hospital and stayed until I was out of surgery and
settled in a room then left. I was alone the rest of the time. A couple of
the men from my church came and picked me up when I was discharged. I was
glad for the time alone. Yes, I missed my son, but I talked to him and a
couple of my friends on the phone during my stay. I sure would not have
wanted anyone hanging around making me feel obligated to entertain them!
Spend the time with yourself, and like the previos poster said maybe think
about looking for a new friend. Good luck and God Bless. <><
— garnet156
April 25, 2003
I had some visitors for short periods of time, but I must agree with the
posters who said I preferred being alone. When I was on pain medicine, I
drifted in and out of consciousness, and I preferred not having to stay
awake while people were visiting. Getting in and out of bed was a pain at
first, but I did it, and I preferred not having to keep up a good face to
keep my husband and kids from getting worried. Later on, if I wanted to
speak to a nurse either because I needed something or wanted to see
someone, it gave me an incentive to get out of bed and walk around.
Finally, when no one was around, I did not feel bad about putting off
showering and/or putting on make up! Don't worry, it will be fine!
— Beth S.
April 25, 2003
When I had my surgery I was alone most of the time. The only time I had
visitors was when my husband and sister came by after work. I didnt mind
the time that I was alone, I was in pain and the pain meds made me really
groggy sometimes so I used that time to get some rest. When you have your
surgery you will most likely be uncomfortable so you probably wont mind
being by yourself. Take some magazines or crossword puzzles to occupy your
time if you get bored. I got through it and you will too:) Good Luck!
— Kris T.
April 25, 2003
Like the other posters I wanted to be alone. I think it was the morphine
but I could not even focus enough to watch TV. No matter what channel or
program, after 5 minutes of trying to concentrate on the noise I was
irritated. When family and friends came to visit, I asked them to keep
their visits short, I just could not concentrate and found myself
frustrated and fatigued. Once I got out of the hospital...180 degree turn,
I wanted people around constantly. Fortunately, I have a very overbearing
circle of friends and family who fussed over me for days. In my
experience, the hospital staff were very responsive and helpful. Best
Wishes with your upcomming surgery!! Liz rny 3-4-03 down 30lbs
— Liz B.
April 25, 2003
WOW! I never saw so many responses to a simple question!!
I "vant" to be alone!! Unlike another poster, I didn't want a
private room. And thank God I didn't get one, my roommate was AWESOME!!
Ask if you can be in a room with another WLS postie! It was a God-send for
me. We supported each then and continue to do so now.
— msmaryk
April 25, 2003
Hi Sharon. My husband and best friend went with me the morning of my
surgery. They stayed until I got out of recovery then went home. Then my
husband came to pick me up when I was discharged. I had my surgery on a
Monday and went home on the following Wednesday. They have you up walking
at least every 4 hours and check you frequently. I enjoyed the rest and
quiet time in between and didn't even think of being alone. I had the open
RNY and basically was able to take care of myself without any problem in
the hospital.
— Deborah R.
April 25, 2003
Hi Sharon, I am still pre-op, but I understand. When I have my surgery I
will be taking a bus to a motel near the hospital and then a cab to the
hospital. Due to work schedules, my Dh won't be able to be there with me.
I myself am looking forward to the "vacation" from home. It will
be nice to be alone for a bit. Don't dispair, you will be fine. Good luck
and take care.
— Cindy P.
April 26, 2003
Hello Sharon
I'm still pre-op. But I have been in and out of the hospital
due to various medical complications due to my weight. It came to the
point were I preferred to be alone. I had my privacy. I didn't have to
worry about being interupted during examinations, treatments or bedbaths.
Sometimes I all I wanted to do was just sleep. (lol) Plus, the telephone
by the bedside kept me in touch with the outside world.
The hospitals staff are usually "people" persons. They can be
pretty neat.
Anne
— Aynikaye
April 26, 2003
Find someone to go with you! I had open Fobi pouch, and could not get up
to help myself. The nurses would not come by and help me. Even with my
family there the nurses wouldn't come. I saw my doctor more often than my
nurses. My friend had surgery a month later I stayed with her. She was
walking sat down and a bucket of blood and extra stuff hit the floor. It
took the nurses over 30 minutes to see what was going on. I had to go out
into the hall and get the nurse. Find someone to go with you!!!! Best
wishes:)!
— Kimmie C.
April 26, 2003
I stayed my whole hospital stay alone... it would of been really senseless
for anyone to visit.. i was cranky and didnt even ant phone calls. It wasnt
from pain or anything, and the nurses were always running in and out
anyways, when i wasnt walking i was sleeping or being woke up to be
proded..lol Good luck with your surgery!:)
— brandy H.
April 26, 2003
Sharon you are NEVER alone. God is always there with you and HE is the
only one that can really help you anyway. Others may hand you things and
look at you but HE is the ONLY one that can heal and protect you. My
family was with me and I kept begging them to go home because I was fine.
The nurses do run in and out a lot but they are there to help you through
the tough time. If I were you I would find me another friend though. Is
she obese? She might be a little jealous because you are doing something
about yoourself to overcome your problems.. Don't you worry, everything
will be fine. It is not as bad as it seems. I was 50 years old when I had
WLS and I did fine. I was up walking the next day and stayed in the
hospital for five days and did very well at home by myself because I
wouldn't let my husband or daughter stay home from work to babysit me. You
will mostly want to sleep and rest when you get home anyway. Don't worry
you will be up and aroound and getting skinnier every day. Put your faith
in Him who can take care of you when no one else can. He is always with
you, even to the ends of the earth.
Shirley
— Shirley F.
April 27, 2003
Hello, I was alone for the whole experience. I went to Mexico by myself
and I was alone form the time I was on the plane until I returned. I did
fine and it was a good time to reflect. the hospital staff is there to
help you and they will. Plus, you are really tired as the medication wore
off. I returned to work in one and a half weeks as a practicing RN on
nights I might add. Good lucka nd you will be fine.
— train
April 28, 2003
Sharon, not only was I alone the whole time in the hospital but I flew from
Kansas City to Texas, this was my very 1st time even on an airplane, this
mind you was after the 9/11 incident. I was petrified of planes, of being
alone in a strange city with no one there for me and the surgery. However,
everything went fine, the surgery, the hospital staff was great and there
for me every step of the way, and even the airline made special
arrangements for me to preboard after my surgery. It was scary at first,
but i'm sure you are very strong, and even considering doing this shows me
you will do fine. The hospital staff are there for you, ring your buzzer
however much is necessary. Good Luck!!!
Gloria
— gloriafb
April 28, 2003
Dont worry you will be fine! Think only positive thougths-YOUR LIFE IS
CHANGING FOR THE BETTER! YOU ABOUT TO EMBARK ON A WONDERFUL JOURNEY! A
WHOLE NEW YOUR-* MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY! I had surgery
16months ago, went in Fri am, they pushed me back in my room and my husband
left, called me Sat am to ask if I could spend the night so he could go to
his company Xmas party-did not hear from him again until I called him Sun
afternoon to pick me up. Stay strong, the only person you need is YOU!!
Good Luck!
— robin P.
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