Question:
need support....... can't work the program
I really need some advice. I am 9 weeks postt op and have lost only 42 lbs. I seem to be doing everything wrong. I know I don't get enough protein. I have ordered samples and tried many, many shakes and bars but I can't cope with any of them. I probably get enough water, but in the past 2 weeks I have had a few cans of diet coke.....a bad habit creeping back into my diet. I really crave "real" food and I don't know how to stop at the first feeling of fullness. Consequently I have spent the past few weeks being so overfull I throw up daily. I know all of this is terrible. I do exercise most days and have also joined a gym ..... that part is the only thing I do "properly". What's wrong with me? I really want to lose the weight but I am so messed up with using this tool. How do I get back on track? How do I get the protein in? And how do I get past the guilt? I feel like a failure. I have a follow up apt next week with my surgeon and I am scared he will say I am doing bad. He said that at 1 month post op when I had only lost 25 lbs. This was meant to be a good thing to do for myself, but it is distroying my self esteem. Please help. — Katie E. (posted on January 22, 2003)
January 22, 2003
My suggestion is try looking for foods that are high in protein instead of
shakes. Try beef jerky you get 13grms of protein per serving and just spit
out the fatty bits, chews up really well. Also look for other real foods
that are high in protein. Try also timing your eating take one bite and
wait a 1-5 minutes then take another this might help with the vomitting.
Hope this helps get you back on track good luck!
— Diane S.
January 22, 2003
I think that you should be very proud of yourself. 42 pounds is a great
accomplishment. I'm 10 weeks out and have lost 50 punds since surgery.
I started back on "real" food 8 days after I came home from the
hospital. Remember, soft foods and liquids pass through very quickly.
Soda is a no-no. Try not to drink with your meals and don't drink until 1
hour after and that should help. I eat everything except pastas and rice.
You want to eat things that take awhile to digest, such as meat, veggies
and fruits. Good luck!!!
— Barbara M.
January 22, 2003
Try keeping a journal, or using fitday.com to track what you are eating.
Buy a book with nutritional values and HIGHLIGHT the high protein items.
Grocery shop in advance and stock up on these items. Try and stick to a
routine, and pre-plan your meals. Measure your foods. Discipline yourself
now. This is all good advice, that we have all used before- you just need
to clear your mind and establish YOUR PLAN. Once you get the hang of it-
you won't need to track dilligently. However when you feel yourself
slipping- a quick look at your protein "source" book, a trip to
the grocery store and some pre-planned food days can get you back on track.
You can do this. Another thing, when you go back to your surgeon, you can
bring your notebook and show him HOW good you've been (jot down your water
intake and exercise) so no matter WHAT he says, you know you are doing
everything you can. You also MAY be a slow loser, which is entirely NOT
ANYONE'S FAULT. There are ALSO such things a plateau, very early out. 42
lbs gone is excellent in my opinion.
— Karen R.
January 22, 2003
42 lbs at 9 weeks is really good. When is the last time you have lost 42
lbs??? ***You need to relax a little bit*** This surgery is a learning
experience. The first few months are really practice! You have to look at
this like a new birth. Would you get mad at a baby who throws up every day?
Of course not. You have a 9 week old stomach that needs to be trained. Your
brain has to be trained too, only you have to un-learn all those bad
habits. Don't crucify yourself over coke, just relax. The main thing is
that you are trying. Keep going to the gym! Also, keep trying the
supplements. Your tastes will change month to month, so don't give up on
that. Your gym will also have single servings of things you can experiment
with. I couldn't drink 'shakes' right away (so gross), and found
supplements that were more like juice. They are good and still do the
trick. So, please ease up on yourself, remember that you are a newborn in
this process, and be as kind to yourself and as patient as you would be
with a newborn. Good Luck!
— Cara F.
January 22, 2003
Katie, first calm down and take a deep breath. Now, don't ever say
"only lost X number of pounds" again. It would not matter if you
were true blue to this program, there will ALWAYS be someone who lost
faster than you even when they started at the same height/weight and there
will always be some who lose slower. This is not a race and if you start
comparing your loss to others now, it will just unnecessarily add to your
stress level, which I may add is already high and going higher. Here are
some helpful tips to help you get back on track:
1. Start measuring your food. If you don't know when to stop at the first
feeling of fullness, measure out 3-4 oz of food (more if the food is soft
or watery like salad, less if dense meats)and that is all you put on your
plate-when it is gone-meal is over. If that amount is too much and you
throw up, then next meal reduce it by an ounce until you find what is just
right for you.
2. There are lots of high protein foods that you can eat to get in more
protein-any type of meat, seafood, chicken, cheese, will do it.
3. Eat 6 small meals a day. You should never go hungry. Whenever you are
hungry, eat one of your small meals. Ensure that its protein first, then
veggie, then fruit.
Your exercise sounds great, so does your water. Stop beating yourself up.
A few sodas will not kill you but try to stick to water. I used to be a
diet Coke fanatic but waited 5 months post-op to try one. By then it was
so awfully sweet that I had lost my taste for it! Also, don't be afraid of
your surgeon. If he is berating you for not losing enough, then he is not
a very good doctor. 42 pounds in 9 weeks is very good. Just prepare
yourself that he may say its not good-so what? It can only effect your
self-esteem if you let it. So don't let it! Smile, say thank you and then
go out and exercise!
— Cindy R.
January 22, 2003
One of the most helpful things for me is i eat 6 times a day. the more
often I eat, the less likely I am to get terribly hungry and I'm not
tempted to overeat.
the other thing I do is use coffee cup saucers as a measurement of what I
can eat. A spoonful of this and a sponful of that quickly fills up my
plate and that is all I eat is that one small plate. If I use a standard
size plate, I overeat everytime.
When I eat out, when I place my order I request the waiter to bring a to-go
box with my meal. when it is served, I put the part I can't eat into the
to go box and I eat the portion I've served for myself.
— Darlene P.
January 22, 2003
I think 42lb is good. However because you know that you are continuing to
eat past full I would encourage you to consider counseling with a therapist
who specializes in either eating disorders or treating obese patients.
There maybe something else emotional going on causing you to continue with
negative behaviors. Either way it is important that you not see yourself
as BAD. Because you are not. You may not have the eating part down yet
but your doing good with exercise and drinking water, give yourself a pat
on the back. Stay encouraged and keep focused. Don't give up, if it were
going to be easy to change all of our behaviors we probably wouldn't need
the surgery.
— CarmelCandy777
January 22, 2003
Hi everyone. I am the original poster. Thank you to everyone who replied.
You all had some sound advice. I am encouraged not to give in to despair
and to keep trying. It is hard sometimes to remember that no matter how
much I want to revert to my old ways sometimes, it was so destructive to
me. I guess I need to focus on the new me and to also keep reminding myself
I am new to this. I appreciate the feedback. Thank you.
— Katie E.
January 22, 2003
CAN'T, DON'T KNOW HOW, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? FAILURE.... First off,
change your vocab and lose the negative stuff like the words you used
above. Skip the trip to the surgeon and get thee to a therapist to work on
the negativisms. It's not the food. I see a psych once a month for a
mental calibration. Good luck and God Bless!
— Kimberly L.
January 22, 2003
I have not had the surgery yet, but am planning to as soon as insurance
approves. I too have fears of failing, I recently gave up smoking(it's been
10 days)and I crave one sometimes but I don't(won't) give in. I am hoping
I'll have the same luck with food after my surgery but if I don't, I won't
quit quitting, and neither should you! You can do this!!!!!!! Look at all
the support you have right on this website. None of us obviously have had
the best of luck with our weight and all we can do is keep trying-you will
find what works for you-keep searching.
— Tonya M.
January 22, 2003
Want a good old fashioned scare. Look at my picture andd see what it could
be like if you continue. Keep up doing the good thing gym. Check in often
with the people. You can email anytime you want. Throwing up everyday is
not good for you. We are all here to support you. Now hold out your hands
SMACK SMACK. All is forgiven. GO forth and thin some more
— snicklefritz
January 22, 2003
Hi Katie:
As an extremely slow loser, who had lost 33 pounds at 9 weeks, I know how
you feel about facing the doctor and the scale. It is so unfortunate that
your doctor felt that your 1 month weight loss was not up to par. He/She
was wrong! When I went for a 4 week check up, I had lost 23 pounds. My
doctor told me that he was so pleased, because it was I think 20% of my
goal. Instead of being condescending, he was positive and complementary.
No wonder so many people are disappointed with their weight loss. With
comments like these, it is like before surgery when you dread getting on a
doctor's scale. I think you are doing wonderfully, but can understand how
hurtful these comments are to you, and would be to me. After the first
weigh in, I was seen by my family doctor for weigh-ins. Most family
doctors are extremely impressed just to see the weight go down. They are
not like the surgeons, who have preconceived ideas of how much weight you
should lose. Is it an option to see you family doctor instead of the
surgeon? It might be feasible, because many have surgery out of state
where they would be unable to follow-up with the surgeon. Of course, if
you encounter any problems, then you could call your surgeon. Just a
suggestion. You are doing fabulous. Don't let anyone, even your surgeon,
tell you otherwise.
Love Grace
— Grace H.
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