need support....... can't work the program

I really need some advice. I am 9 weeks postt op and have lost only 42 lbs. I seem to be doing everything wrong. I know I don't get enough protein. I have ordered samples and tried many, many shakes and bars but I can't cope with any of them. I probably get enough water, but in the past 2 weeks I have had a few cans of diet coke.....a bad habit creeping back into my diet. I really crave "real" food and I don't know how to stop at the first feeling of fullness. Consequently I have spent the past few weeks being so overfull I throw up daily. I know all of this is terrible. I do exercise most days and have also joined a gym ..... that part is the only thing I do "properly". What's wrong with me? I really want to lose the weight but I am so messed up with using this tool. How do I get back on track? How do I get the protein in? And how do I get past the guilt? I feel like a failure. I have a follow up apt next week with my surgeon and I am scared he will say I am doing bad. He said that at 1 month post op when I had only lost 25 lbs. This was meant to be a good thing to do for myself, but it is distroying my self esteem. Please help.

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