Question:
Long Term Post-op: Why won't I weigh myself?

I am 22 months post-op and have lost all of my excess weight (down from 254 to 140ish). I am thrilled with the weight loss. I lost all my weight within 11 months. By last July, I had gotten down to 138 and stopped there. Then I fluctuated, depending upon the time of the month and the scale I am weighing myself on. My problem is this. I have not weighed myself in months. I am totally afraid to get on the scale because I fear that I've gained weight. My clothes pretty much fit the same and I feel great, but my quantities are pretty big (though I make fine choices). I am always staring at my tummy and thinking it looks bigger and bigger. How can I get myself on the scale? And if I did gain weight, how do I defeat this feeling of failure? No one has told me that I've gained weight nor do they say I look good. I constantly ask my husband if he sees any changes. He said he doesn't but it's hard to believe him since he never saw a change when I was working my way up to 254... Any suggestions or insight? Thanks =)    — Jeannet (posted on June 18, 2002)

June 18, 2002
It's probably the mind set that if I don't see it I don't have to deal with it. I know what you mean, it's scary to see the scale go up. I weigh myself daily.(same scale and time of day) I make myself get on even if I had a bad day. The reason is, because it scares me into being good if I go up a couple pounds. I feel that you can gain 10-15 pounds before your pant size goes up, so I don't want any surprises. My opinion is, it's like driving a car with the speed covered and hoping your going the speed limit. Good Luck!
   — ZZ S.

June 18, 2002
I'm glad you posted this question. I am pre-op and I can tell you that especially during the last few years, while gaining another 60+ pounds, I NEVER weighed myself. I still don't like to get near a scale...the one I have at home doesn't go above 300 and I've been teetering at 298-301 during recent doctor visits. I quit weighing myself around the time the depression set in, from being overweight and developing sleep apnea, high blood pressure and acid reflux. Everything seemed to go wrong with this last 60-80 pounds gained. I sometimes wonder if I had been able to not get so depressed about it all, and really address the weight issue, I may have been able to not only not gain, but possibly lose. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get on that scale. No matter how much fear you have. You need to do it NOW, don't let it go until you either find yourself very depressed or in jeopardy of having medical complications. Just try to regain that focus you had those first few months. Don't beat yourself up at all. As the surgeons say, this is a tool. If you have perhaps let the tool gather a little dust, don't worry. This is a tool that won't rust out on you. Most of all, don't be too hard on yourself. There are too many people in the world willing to criticize...we don't need to be our own worst critics anymore! Good luck and God Bless - Anna
   — Anna L.

June 18, 2002
I'm a little odd about scales myself. I have scale rules (have to be naked & empty--if I brush my teeth TOO LATE). I moved the scale into the other bathroom. NOw I weigh every few months OR if my clothes are tighter or looser. It has WAY too much control over me. 1# up and I'm hysterical, 1# down and I'm euphoric. It just isn't worth it to me for the roller coaster ride. I have a 5# fluctuation just like a normal person and I need to just accept that. Is it a mental illness? I dunno, cuz it doesn't seem to hurt me or anyone else.
   — vitalady

June 19, 2002
I am only 6 1/2 months post-op and still have quiet a bit to lose. My surgeon has specific rules for his patients regarding scales. The rules: stay off the scales unless you are at his office or a support group meeting. I have followed this religiously - except for one doctor's visit (a different doctor) where I had to weigh. The result has been phenomenol. In 6 months I lost 119 pounds and I have never had a plateau that I knew of. I don't obsess about the scales and numbers anymore than I obsess about food (and I don't). I weighed the day before my surgery, 12 days post-op, 10 1/2 weeks post-op, then again at 5 months, and 6 months when I went for support group meetings and for a check-up about a possible hernia (unfortunately, confirmed). Dr. Warnock's belief is that if you are a slave to the scales, you mess with your mind too much. If your clothes are not tight, then don't stress yourself out about it. Try to set up a schedule and weigh yourself once a month. More that that is way too often anyway, in my opinion.
   — Patty_Butler

June 19, 2002
Hi, me again :) Patty, that is great advice, I am going to remember that when I am post-op! My main point about my own situation was that never getting on a scale can put you in denial. Yet I also don't want to be obsessive about it. Your advice (your doc's advice) sounds perfectly sane to me. Thanks - Anna
   — Anna L.

June 19, 2002
I don't think you HAVE to weigh at all. I rarely weigh anymore since I reached goal and it can be misleading if you work out cuz any muscle you add will make you weigh more but leave you smaller. What "naturally thin" people do =) is monitor how their clothes fit. When they feel tight they cut back on their intake and up the exercise until those clothes feel right again. Unless you are still wearing your preop "muu-muus" your clothes will probably start to feel different with about a 5 pound gain. I am right there with you on the fear factor. My husband put away the scale and I didn't weigh for a month. I was terrified that I had gained 10 pounds since I had stopped weighing every day but, do you know that I was still within my 5 pound range? I think it is just hard for us because we saw the scales go up consistently for so many years. And if you think about it, every time the scales DID go down, it was followed by the scales going up, up, up as soon as we let down our guard. Sure, WLS is just a tool, but it is NOT a diet so we have to train ourselves that we are not destined to fail like we have before. I think you're normal for feeling this way, but then again I probably think that because I feel that way too. Maybe we're both nuts! ;)
   — ctyst

June 19, 2002
Michelle, I have your scale rules, too!!! Just put the darn thing up is what I say. If you're wearing the same clothes and feel pretty good, just forget about it. Are you working out? If not, that could be why you're tummy feels bigger. I know I worked out a lot last year (sigh) and I can't believe how many inches I lost although the weight maintained 240 with no problem!!! Now, I'm back to my fluffy self waiting on surgery and clothes are too tight. Take care.
   — crawford1213

June 19, 2002
Hi Michelle. I am still pre-op, but I have concerns about how I will feel later on down the road just as you are feeling now. I hope you do not take this the wrong way, but have you considered therapy of some type? It couldn't hurt for you to talk to a professional about the way you have been feeling. From what I have seen, MANY post-ops seek help from a therapist. It can be difficult to adjust to the "new" you and then the dealing with "am I too small, am I gaining again" can also take its toll. Please call tomorrow and make yourself an appointment. You've worked this hard and been through so much. You owe it to yourself to feel good as much as you look good! Best of luck to you, Sweetie.
   — karmiausnic