Question:
Just had my pre-op appointments and I'm crying uncontrollably
Please Please someone help. Friday I went to have all my pre-op appointments prior to my June 28 surgery. After about 30 minutes with the dietician, I lost it! I started crying uncontrollably. All I could think about/hear is what I cannot eat...bread, pasta, rice, carbonated beverages, etc. She looked at me funny and ended the meeting quickly. I guess all I can think about is that this is for THE REST OF MY LIFE. This is really SILLY but it almost makes me want to back out of my surgery. Is this unusual? Am I seriously mourning food????!!! Please respond. — Michaele S. (posted on June 17, 2002)
June 17, 2002
I know it seems impossible, but EVERY aspect of your life & food will
change after surgery. Foods you once thought nescessary TO SURVIVE (for me
sodas) will taste yucky; stuff you disliked before (for me, chocolate!)
you'll now crave! Also, these restrictions are just temporary in the
beginning- you will be able to have those things again- in moderation.
They just won't mean as much to you. Sure, you may mourn the loss, but you
will have other things to fill the void (movement, health, feeling better,
exercise)... It is really hard for a Post Op to explain to a Pre-Op that
things will be 100% different.
— Karen R.
June 17, 2002
I understand how you feel. It is hard for us to give up what we know as
"a way of life". I was a little concerned about this before my
surgery. But now.....I am 8 months post-op. I am 5'7" and only 9
pounds away from my personal goal of 135. (yup, that puts me at 144 now
:) I have come to understand that the old saying is true..."NOTHING
TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS". I feel so good about myself, that the
food that I can not have no longer matters to me. It feels so good to be
thin!!! I love my life. I think you are perfectly normal!!! Please email
me if you have any questions. Good luck!!
— skymaxjr
June 17, 2002
It's going to be the unpopular answer, but if you're not sure and just the
thought of giving up food puts you in such a state, back-out, don't do it
until you're 100% certain. don't get me wrong I love my surgery and I'm
200% happy I did it. The whole point is that it's a very big thing and
you've got to be very very sure... if you're not, don't do it it'll be
here in the future, there's no pressure and it's your choice.
— Diane B.
June 17, 2002
First off let me say that I'm still pre-op...my surgery is in 2 weeks. I
did worry about the things that I wouldn't be able to eat after
surgery....but then I tried focusing on the things that I CAN have after
the surgery instead. I started looking at the protiens and realized that I
really like most of that now...cheese, chicken, chili, refried beans,
shrimp, etc. Plus I have a support group that I have been going to once a
month, and I was assured that I wouldn't be giving up these things forever.
Everything in moderation, that is the key. But I have to say that I also
agree with the previous poster. If this is something that you feel so
strongly about and you can't overcome this doubt....maybe it would be best
to postpone your surgery until you feel better about the outcome. I will
be praying for you. Good luck.
— Wendy C.
June 17, 2002
I am going to agree with DB about this....I am 6 months post op open
RNY/Distal..lost 83 lbs and tons of inches..I cn eat just about anything I
want...I do eat protein first then veggies, then carbs..I do eat pasta,
breads, rice..just not alot,I do not drink carbonated beverages...afraid it
may hurt my tummy!Anyway, Why I agree, If you really continue to have these
thoughts...and they are that disturbing to you, you will not be mentally
ready to tuse this valuable tool. That said, Your fears are normal..you are
mourning the potential loss of food..but reallyit won't be that bad...the
things that you cannot eat anymore..your body will dictate to you..and you
won't miss it. I thought the same things...but now realize that it is not
as bad as I thought it was, actually better all the way around! Right now I
am eating a piece of pizza, chef salad and buffalo wings....mind you not
the Perfect choices and only a few bites of each..but I wanted it and had
it...Talk to someone...Go on the message boards also and tell them how you
feel...you will find out how normal it is! Best wishes on your jounrney.
— Patricia R.
June 17, 2002
First of all, don't think of the negatives. Think of how you're going to
look and feel in a few weeks/months. Yes, you will have to give these
things up for a while, but if you're serious about this surgery and losing
weight, then it's worth it!
— dolphins94
June 17, 2002
Michaele,
Honey you are not alone!! You are crying because you know that you are
about to lose your best friend. You just happened to do it at the
dieticians rather than in the car, at home, bathroom, get the point? I am
3 weeks post op and week 2 was when I really started mourning the loss of
my buddy. Believe me I still am but I did go on an antianxiety med to help
with some of this. Boy has it helped me. My family can vouch for that. You
will know in your heart if this is what you want. It took me 2 + years to
make the plunge. I wished I had done it 2+ years ago. Look into your heart
and if this is what you want to do then maybe you can call the dietician up
and reinforce your commitment to this sgy. GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES!!!
MARY
— MARY W.
June 17, 2002
Food is not your best friend...you must be your own best friend! I can
empathize with the finality of it all...when I went to the dietician it was
a scary thing...but you know what? Things change with this surgery. Now,
you probably never feel satisfied. With the surgery you will feel
satisfied. Prior to the surgery you never feel in control... after the
surgery you are in control, not the food. Before the surgery, your life was
being taken away bite by bite. After the surgery, your life is given back
to you day by day. I don't want to minimize how you feel. I took two years
to make the decision because initially, I felt very panicky to know I was
making such a big, life altering decision. Now I am four months post op and
have NO regrets at all. Eating less has set me free!
Pray for guidance and you will get it. Best wishes to you in whatever you
decide.
— Ann B.
June 17, 2002
You must be ready "emotionly" for the changes you need to make.
You are NOT ready. There is no shame in this! Please don't do the surgery
until you are ready. Even those of us who "thought" we were ready
got a surprise. ;) I'm one of the fortunate ones who can eat anything but
in small amounts. There is one food I really miss though... breads. I
could'nt eat it for around the first 9 months. Now I can eat one or two
slices. I used to love to sit down and eat four or five dinner rolls with a
meal. If I eat one now, I can't eat anything else! So it is a BIG change.
But now that I'm a year out I don't "miss any foods". I can eat
it all, however some things I chose not to eat unless I'm craving it bad.
Example, tarter sauce and mayonase... they make me quesy. Yet I can eat
them in very small amounts. So I don't miss it. And I CAN live with it.
Anyway, please don't rush into anything just yet. This is a BIG commitment.
You don't want to make it then regret it. Take your time. You are not in a
race with anyone. I'm not into physchiatrists. Most of the ones I've seen
are money hungry grubs. But there ARE some good ones out there. Perhaps it
would benifit you to talk this over with someone and sort out your
feelings. This surgery was hard on those of us who were ready. Please don't
mess up your life by doing this "before you are ready". This
surgery is'nt for everyone. Best of luck to you.
— Danmark
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