Question:
Revealing WLS to a Significant Other as a Long-Term Post-Op

I am 21 months post-op, down 172 lbs, from 355 to 183, from size 32/34 to 12/14. Life is grand! I have begun dating the most wonderful man over the last couple of months. Now that I am such a long-term post-op, wls is no longer the focus of my life, and I try to live as a normal person. He was not in my life at the time I had surgery. He has never asked about the scars. I have always been a "roof-topper" about my surgery, but have been totally hesitant to tell him. All my friends, family, coworkers know about my surger. My close friend whom I work with (and whose date is 02/27/2002!) had been encouraging me to tell him before someone else mentioned it. I really didn't want to! I'm not sure why - fear of freaking him out, rejection, or whatever. We were on a date about a week ago, I finished my meal, and he said, "Man, you eat like a bird!" My heart started pounding, and I knew I needed to tell him. So, I blurted it out, asked him how he felt about it, and he said it made no difference to him at all. He laughed and said we could start splitting a meal or for me to order from the kid's menu! I have the restaurant card, just never used it. I usually box up leftovers, but we were out of town at a concert, and shrimp fettucine wouldn't have fared well in the car for 3 hours! I'm glad I got it off my chest and that it made no difference to him. Anyone else have this experience?    — [Deactivated Member] (posted on January 28, 2002)

January 28, 2002
No, but I can't wait to! I think that as this surgery comes more and more in the public eye there will be less "stigma" attatched to it...if your so reacted with good humor when you initially told him as opposed to shutting down, you should be okay. Besides, maybe he has a few secrets of his own...
   — rebeccamayhew

January 28, 2002
No, I haven't had this experience yet, but it sounds like you may have a keeper there. Good luck!
   — garw

January 28, 2002
Denise- it is great to hear how you are doing! I can't relate to a significant other, but I am telling more and more people how I lost weight. I think the longer I go postop (2 years now), the more sure I am that it has worked and the freer I feel to share with people. Good Luck- drop me a line if you find the time-I am doing a abdominoplasty in March! Love,
   — M B.

January 28, 2002
If someone really loves you, your WLS should mean nothing to him/her. And if it gets serious, it's very important that they know so they can help you if you have a related medical crisis ... or if you're unconscious and they need to intubate you, etc.
   — Terissa R.

January 28, 2002
I envy you (lol). I'm almost 4 years post-op and wls is still very much a part of my life. I think about it all the time. Perhaps that's because I'm still trying to get down to 199...I have 35lbs. to go. Perhaps when I get there, I'll "move on". I did tell my boyfriend about my wls early in our relationship. I told for several reasons. First, I know that he wondered why a size 18 woman ate sooooo little food. I didn't want him to think that I was one of those silly ninnys who won't eat in front of their man. Second, I've lost 150lbs. and my thighs and butt are a bit jiggly, I wanted to explain why. Third, I wanted to prepare him for "the scar". It's not exactly pretty...and I had no intention of wearing tee shirts etc. during intimate times. He said he was impressed and proud of me for taking control of my life and becoming such a "babe".
   — [Anonymous]