The_Sun_Fairy
Well, my story is WAY too long to tell all of it, but I will try to be as concise as I can!! When I was around 11 months old, I was diagnosed with hip dysplasia, a condition in which the ball and socket joint of the hip separates, which resulted in one of my legs initially being about 4-5 inches longer than the other!! I had surgery at 11 months & again at 3 years old to rectify the situation. However, with the limited knowledge that was available in the early 1970s, my parents were basically told not to let me do much physically because if I fell and injured my hip, I would be in a wheelchair the rest of my life (wonderful scare tactics, doc!!) Anyway, I didn't get to do much physically as a kid and the pounds started coming on.
In addition to this physical issue, my dad was also an alcoholic, so my stress as a child was "to the moon." Unfortunately, since I couldn't control what I could do with my body AND I couldn't control whether my dad was going to come home every night drunk, the one thing that I could control was what I ate. As a result, I became a VERY young emotional eater. And, on top of it all, as the scale went up and up, my self confidence went down and down. I was mercilessly teased as a child, from the very beginning of elementary school (we didn't go to preschool in those days!!LOL) until eventually, I weighed almost 300lbs when I graduated from high school!! I did very well academically, but there was always something missing.
I went off to the University of Florida in August 1988, at the tender age of 17 1/2. I probably should have gone to community college for the first 2 years (hindsight being 20/20), but I wanted to prove that I could succeed despite my weight. It was at this time that I decided that I was COMPLETELY in control of my life, including what I ate, and I basically exercised maniacally and starved myself to lose over 100 lbs in a little over a year. So I looked pretty "normal" and felt better, but what I didn't realize (and many people don't, no matter what age), is that if you don't learn why you overate to begin with and you don't learn how to deal with those issues, YOU WILL NEVER LOSE AND KEEP IT OFF FOR GOOD!!
So, fast forward 20 years, with continued low self-esteem, some bad relationships, still not confronting my eating issues and dealing with my ailing father (I had forgiven him a long time ago, but then he got cancer) and I was right back where I started!! I did meet my husband, however, who still loves me for me, and we have two amazing smart and beautiful children, now 4 & 6 years old. And that's the crux of it all - once I had my children, I realized that if I did not do something to get my life under control and get the weight off, I was not going to be around when my kids go to their first prom, graduate from high school or hopefully, get married!! THAT was my epiphany!! I started this journey at 337 lbs, with the vision of shopping with my daughter for her wedding dress!! Don't get me wrong, my kids may be my inspiration, but I am doing this for ME!! I want to be healthy and be a good example to my kids. After all, isn't that the way it is supposed to be?? :)
