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A WEEK AT THE GYM ONE MAN'S STORY


If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong
with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get
into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary


For Christmas this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a
week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I
am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 45
years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a
try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named
Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor
and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased
with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary
to chart my progress . . .

MONDAY

Started my day at 600 a.m.
Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I
arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something
of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white
smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
She took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed
that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in
her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she
conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring.
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, all though my gut was
already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This
is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY


I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air
then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the
treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made
it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on
the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have
a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to
steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club
members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning
and when she scolds, She gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the
stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help
me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as
her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help
being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda
took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and
hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me. Then, as punishment,
she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY

I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated
any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny,
anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move
without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work
on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in
the floor, don't hand me the M----- f----- barbells or anything that
weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a
health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone
softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


SATURDAY

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly
voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made
me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the
strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight
hours of the Weather Channel.


SUNDAY

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and
thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my
wife will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root
canal or a vasectomy.

I have learned that yes I do dump YaY!! What does this mean in the grand scheme of things? Firstly lets talk about what dumping isnt! 

Dumping is not getting food stuck, foamies, vomiting or pouch pain. Many people think they are dumping when they simply have not chewed well enough, eaten too fast or just have a bitchy pouch day. This is not dumping. 

Dumping is not usually a bathroom bottom end experience. Many people hear the word dumping and associate it with the slang "taking a dump" bowel movement issues. Dumping CAN include diahrrea, its not common though. Sugar is a natural laxative. Most people who stop eating sugar overnight often suffer from constipation. Many people who OD on sugar for holiday reasons (Easter bunnies!!!) have loose stool to follow. So a post op RNY who suffers from diarrhea after eating sugar may be experiencing a very natural phenominon not in anyway restricted to surgery people that is not "dumping" but includes sugar and a dump.

Dumping is not lactose intolerance. Lactose intolerance post op is somewhat common and usually temporary from weeks to months. Lactose intolerance is normal in the human population mainly because as "animals" we havent been given a digestive system to drink milk for our entire lives, just as tots. Messing with the digestive tract can lead to lactose intolerance in anyone :(

Dumping IS sugar or fat dumping into the intestines too quickly. This can happen to anyone, RNY, WLS or "normal" folks in general. Its common in RNY because the stoma does not release food in a  slow timely manner like the pyloric valve and because the first 12 inches of intestines are removed this unprocessed sugar/fat is going into the intestines without being broken down be stomach acids first. This is where the term dumping comes from and what it refers to when used in RNY talk.

Statistically less than 50% of post ops "dump" from eating high sugar/fat meals. People who do dump rarely do so long term. It usually corrects itself, OR the patient behaviour modifys and stops eating in a manner that causes dumping so that dumping becomes a monthly/yearly event for the majority of those who do dump. There is a small population of people who dump from everything, personally I think these people need revisions as this is a mechanical failure.

 
ME ON DUMPING...

To describe what dumping is to me its easiest to say I have been dumping for YEARS. Dumping is identical to my life as an uncontrolled diabetic. I ate TOO much and my blood sugar would raise to the 180 - 300 area. I would become drunken sleepy and pass out. Later I would wake with a plumetting blood sugar of 36 - 72 and act crazy, cranky, shakey and feel like crawling out of my skin. 

Now I am no longer diabetic but on occaision when I eat TOO much sugar or fat the exact same thing happens again. I get drunk and pass out, or muddle through it awake and crazy. Usually within an hour or 3 my sugar drops big time and I need food desperately. 

What makes me dump? My first time I really noticed dumping I ate 4 pices of very greasy sausage, 2 greasy eggs and dripping in butter toast. I HATE causing a scene in restaurants and should have sent the food back and reordered but Im stoopid. Within a half hour of eating this I was falling asleep in a store. Luckily it was a furniture store :P Sugar alcohols do nothing to me, dumping or dumps (unless I have 45+ grams of them). Sugar rarely makes me dump BUT a combination of very high sugar and fat will. Christmas baking, sweet marie bars, made me dump but I ate 3 of them :P

Do I like dumping? The actual dumping itself is extremely unpleasant but not something I would call torture lol. I have experienced this feeling of dumping since around the age of 12. I actually dont consider it a big deal. It is something I have to plan around or think around. Its like if I knew I was going to have a few drinks while out I would take a cab to the party. I actually compare it to drinking a lot because while eating the offending food Im pretty content with the decsion but later when the whoozy drunk/hangover sets in I think wtf??? that totally wasn't worth it. 

For me overeating is more than just eating too much. I have a dozen reasons why I over eat. No therapy is going to cure me of that. The behaviour modification of RNY dumping helps me not over eat specific foods in specific circumstances. I used to eat nervously around other people (before I got smo and too ashamed to eat in front of other people) I would stand next to the food table and nibble constantly to feed my nervousness. That is no longer a choice I can make. I know if I do this I will be fall down stupid in 15 - 30 minutes. So I deliberately avoid all food around other people. For ME this is a GREAT thing, for someone else a huge deterant for RNY.

Finally, dumping isnt "punishment" to food addicts anymore than a hangover is "punishment" to an alcoholic. Its a negative side effect of doing something we know we shouldn't do. Some people will never stop eating the foods that make them dump post op just like drinkers who never stop drinking. For me its a tool for specific situations that I am grateful for. I cant use dumping as my ONLY deterant to poor food choices. I do use it as one of many tools to weight loss, maintenance and freeing myself from the control of food addiction :)

If you are bothered by videos of people dumping you probably need to re-evaluate why you need to lose weight and what you are willing to accept to get weight loss. Dumping is not even remotely close to the worst thing that can happen post op. There is so much "negative" about wls in general that it really shouldnt be seen as a way to "lose weight" but as a way to improve life. If your life is already so spiffy that dumping, taking vitamins, bad smelling BMs/gas or actually tracking what you eat are hardships to you, wls could be the beiggest mistake of your life. I can honestly say as a lightweight, I NEVER would have gotten wls. I was healthy happy and heavy. The side effects, remote and likely were much much worse than remaining obese for me at 230 - 250 pounds. As a very ill 330 pound SMO person death wasnt a deterant from surgery. 

Big HUGS from the dumpers bench :)

I see the trouble brewing amounst many people here so I will share my personal special occaision rules.

I dont go out to eat very often and I dont do a lot of celebrating so these rules are really only good if you are like me, if you have parties and dinners out all year then this may not be a good idea ;)

I only count my protein on "special" days, again special days happen a few times a year, not month or week for me. On special days I allow some grazing to nibble this or that which I normally wouldnt have/touch. I try to pick the safest road (healthiest) but IF I want something I have it. 

To be honest I rarely "need" this rule because I rarely want anything off of my regular eats. Its the mentality change that works for me. I dont not eat goodies because Im not allowed, I dont eat them cause I dont feel like it. IF I feel like it then I have some.

So just so you all know, I will likely have a slice or two of banana bread, a couple squares and even some "real" chocolate over the next week and its ok. Its SPECIAL. I will eat  my 80 - 120 grams of protein everyday first though ;)

Im just doing my monthly report. I should copy and paste my blurb every month but I like to be redundant in an original way ;)

So THIS month.. what is new? 

Well Im eating A LOT. Most days I am eating 1400 - 2000 cals now. I am eating subpar in the evenings, eating too much at a time etc. Which I am working on. I usually log my food and end up around 1200ish cals but often continue to eat a meal or two after that taking me close to 2000 rather regularly. I dont mind eating the extra cals, its the lack of planning that is a concern. I need to change my plan to account for more food and calories but just havent sat down and really thought where to make improvements and new "rules". Most people dont need rules like I do, but without them I can free for all waaay too easily :P

I am still losing A LOT. I lost 5 pounds this month from 156 to 151 pounds, 3.2% weight loss. I am not trying to lose more weight. I have a solid 10 pound minimum of skin I will lose in plastic surgery and being "skinny" is not a goal nor interest of mine. Mentally I would love to lose more cause I want a 200 pounds lost card :P I dont know why..... Its really quite stupid and only cool to me so I try to block that thought and just be happy with a max of 190 pounds :P Interestingly enough I lost weight all month, haven't had my period yet so who knows if I will drop or gain. We are always trying to make a pattern out of the weight loss and I have to say 15 months and 176 pounds down, there is no pattern :P

 I am feeling better than ever physically. Almost 0 aches and pains this month. No physical ailments at all actually.

I no longer take any bowel aids. I have a movement everyday or every other day. For those who dont know me, I had severe constipation since around month 3 and its finally worked itself out.

Mentally, well Im still nuts :P We have so many more problems in life than just weight. Being heavy creats a lot of problems but losing weight doesnt take us from miserable to perfection. Many of our problems are the same and even worse after losing weight. So dont be afraid of therapy, either with a friend, in a group, or a paid professional. Most of us are damaged up stairs and a little repair work could really help us out. For me Im seriously lacking motivation this month. I have a million things to do at any time and fritter away my time doing almost nothing instead.

Im still drinking great, averaging 3.8 gallons a day in iced tea alone. 

My most recent labs are good and my numb feet have not gotten worse this month, which is good enough for me ;)

My vitamin/suppliment regiment is now:
AM: 2 iron,calcium
NOON: B-100 complex, B12 sublingual, B1, calcium
Dinner: daily vitamin
Bedtime: B-100 complex, B12 sublingual, B1,  daily vitamin

I made it to "normal" weight for my age this month. 2 people told me I dont look like I weight 150 pounds, and not in the bad way Im used to. They think I look a lot less than that :P

My clothing is size 32" waist jeans and M - XL tops depending on the cut. I find M tops fit me perfectly except are often too short. The L/XL are long enough but often too baggy unless they are super snug cut. My size M tights are baggies cause my legs have gotten way too thin. Panties are a M now. Bras 38B. 

dayum.. I need to do inches.. oops
neck 13 (starting was 20)
wrist 5.5
forearm 9
bicept 10
underbust 37 (starting was 54)
bust 42 (starting was 60)
waist 35 (starting was 67)
hip 35 (starting was 60)
thigh 17.5 (starting was 25)
calf 13 (starting was 17)
ankle 8

JOSE CUERVO CHRISTMAS COOKIES

 Ingredients:
 1 cup of water
 1 tsp baking soda
 1 cup of sugar
 1 tsp salt
 1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice
 4 large eggs
 1 cup nuts
 2 cups of dried fruit
 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup
and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix 
on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it
loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check
the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one

table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash
the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. 

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS for your baking enjoyment

here are the questions I asked the PS's (3 of them) I "interviewed".  I had been approved by insurance for  panniculectomy prior to asking these questions.  I had lost over 200lbs and kept it off at least 6 -8months (stable weight).   I knew I needed my hips/butt taken care of.

I wanted to see pictures of results from people with bodies similiar to mine pre-PS.   In one case the surgeon introduced me to one of his patients who showed me her results! 

1.  Does insurance approving abdominal panniculectomy mean they won't
cover the entire LBL?  What is the cost for the difference?  If I have 

complications will insurance cover and/or do you have supplemental

insurance to cover problems?
2.  Does abdominal panniculectomy include muscle work?  (I wanted muscle

work done!)
3.  Will my upper stomach (above belly button) be done? (i.e. how far up

does LBL cover.)
4.  How much can be done with hips / shaping ?
5.  Butt?  Will your LBL technique only address upper butt or can you do a

lift?
6.  How many have you done?  Complication rate? Most frequent complication? 

Seromas?
7.  Anchor cut versus bikini cut?
8.  Would anchor get a better result?
9.  Back skin?  Upper back skin? (I had a lot of back skin!)
10. Mons lift? Technique for lift - straight cut or thigh/cut?
11. How much (lbs) do you think will be taken off?
12. Binder afterwards? Is binder to shape or stop swelling?  Will it be provided

or do I need to purchase?  If I purchase through you do I get a discount?
13. How long is the hospital stay?
14. stairs afterwards?
15. exercise afterwards?
16. Return doctor visits?
17. Bowel prep
18.  Stop Bc pills?
19.  Stop vits?
20.  Protein / Iron loading?
21.  Blood transfusion possible?  How much blood loss?
22.  STD - will you approve?
23.  How long on operating table?
24.  Will I be closed with staples?  Stitches? (dissolvable?) Glue ?
25.  What do you recommend for scarring - silicone sheets?

26.  Pain management -- epidural?  PCA pump?  Narcs?  

Bras like this, cotton with no underwire are perfect for sagging women. The back and sides are wider to smooth rolls out, unlike normal bras that only creat extra rolls.

Dee stole the following list from DxE a couple
of years ago and trys to follow it as much as possible. I dont actually graze (didnt pre op either) but so many people do I thought I would steal it too :)

1.)…..Eat Foods High in Soluble Fiber, Like Oatmeal, All Bran,
Blueberries, etc… throw a little Bran (just a spoonful) into any
food it can "hide in." Soluble fiber tends to break down very
slowly after it has passed the stoma snd it sustains your blood
sugar levels longer than many other foods. This keeps insulin
levels stable and keeps you from being "hungry" for hours longer.
Oatmeal is the Ace of Spades when it comes to this. But what if
you are still on full liquids, or relying on Protein Shakes that
pass on through so quickly? Cook up a little instant Oatmeal, in
fact, over cook it into a real mush! Keep it in a little dish in
the fridge. When making a "smoothie" drop a dab of it in the
blender with the rest of the mix. You'll never notice it, except
you'll feel satisfied Longer! Parents out there? Remember when you
could first add that little pinch of cereal To the baby's
formula/milk, And suddenly they would sleep through the night? Same
thing, Different Baby!

2.)…..Chewing Sugar Free Gum with a strong Flavor. Keep
some "wintergreen mix" going nearly all the time. Itwill help to
prevent snacking. A nibble on "just one" Bar-B-Que Flavored Potato
Chip is less appealing with a mouth full of Wintergreen. (Clearly it
doesn't have to be Wintergreen, just whatever you like!)

3.)…..More Fat in your diet! Don't slather on the butter, but
don't avoid nuts because of the fat content. A Purdue University
study showed that people, Who ate Nuts high in Monounsaturated Fat,
Felt "full" an hour and a half longer Than those who ate fat-free
foods. Almonds are particularly good at this, Followed by- other
sources such as Avocados, Sunflower Seeds, Flaxseed meal, etc…Even
by adding Monounsaturated Fats In cooking or as salad dressings-
Olive Oil! Sesame Oil! Canola! And they all are excellent Bad
Cholesterol "scrubbers." As are the Omega's such as the oils found
in Salmon, Tuna, and "Darker" Fish. These not only clear out the
arteries, but play a role in speeding up the metabolism. A study
at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston found that people who took
omega-3, burned more calories throughout the day than those who
didn't. And, they claimed to feel "satiated" as well.

4.)…..Water, Water, Water!! In any flavor you like.
This is particularly effective for RNY'ers. By constantly sipping
on No-Calorie Liquid, (WATER) The Jejunum limb is kept "plump" and
stimulated. The Stomach has, prior to surgery, been our major
supplier of satisfaction from Eating. The Nerve endings there were
stimulated and gave us Pleasure. By bypassing our Stomach, and only
leaving the pouch, Which doesn't send the same "Pleasure Signals"
That the full stomach did, Only Pain if one stimulates it beyond its
limits, The Jejunum becomes our Metaphoric G-Spot! Deep and full
sensations of satisfaction and fullness emanate from the nerves
there when it is "Full" And plumped up from excess Water. By
keeping the Jejunum stimulated, a feeling of Satiation is produced
that is sent to the Brain Very similar to the Signal that was once
sent by the Stomach. It's a "Different Full" but once one learns
to "feel it" It is just as powerful!

5.)…..Habits, Habits, Habits!!!!!! Keep using every opportunity to
establish habitual routines. That's how so many of us got to be
Obese to start with. Eat at roughly the same times. Once again,
Parents? Remember how much less "fussy" the baby was when He/She
was on "schedule?" Same thing with us! In order to prevent
snacking, When you come across something you have a "Craving" for,
take it, and set it out in preparation for your next meal. Lie to
your Brain-"That does sound good, I'll have that for Lunch, 2 hours
from Now." Usually, by the time Lunch rolls around, The impulse to
snack on "whatever it was" Has diminished, and your need for "real
food" will prevail. Keep to a schedule as best you can. But what
if you're 8 months Post-Op And the habit you have created is
to "Blow off Breakfast, Have a shake for lunch, And snack the rest
of the day away?"

The Dr.'s Recommendation? "Start Over!" Go back to a week of
Liquids, Followed by Pureed, the Mechanical Soft, etc…The plan is to
Learn to use the Pouch.

6.)…..Activity! When we were pre-ops, We spent a great deal of time
selecting, Buying, preparing, picking up food, And of course,
eating it. As post-ops, We must find other things to do with our
time. A lot of problems With grazing come from boredom or
unstructured time. Keeping the hands busy is helpful, Especially in
the evening when I have free time. (Nighttime has always been the
worst time for me for grazing.) Get a hobby.

Once Again, Back to the Babies! While becoming Obese we started
Learning – What Satisfied Felt Like, How to Keep that Good Feeling
Going, How to Stimulate our pleasure Centers with Food, Etc…..By
Viewing this surgery as a "Re-Birth" and Acknowledging that even at
2 years Post-Op, We are "Two Year Olds," Just learning the most
elemental of Habits, We can establish Habits Different From those
that helped us get to be Obese.