mommy_jaden

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

August 26th 2004: ~Hello to everyone who is still traveling this journey with me! I can’t believe it has been a whole month already … where’d the time fly off to? Just to sit here and think that a month ago right now I was in agony and doped up on morphine and now, just a month later, I am back to my normal self (not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing … ) Everything is going really well and I am still 150% happy that I took this step to take my life back. I am feeling great and I actually have more energy already. I find myself getting bored a lot quicker and not wanting to sit around the house and nap on the weekends. This past weekend Jaden and I headed down to the Lake to get some last-summer swimming in and I wore my bathing suit AND took the T-shirt off that was covering it. NOW that was a first for me in a LONG time. My bathing suit is even getting a little baggy and wasn’t sticking to me like plastic wrap. It was a good feeling to swim with Jaden and do ONLY that … no worrying about what people think or what people say … after all, a year from now I will not even think twice when it comes to wearing a bathing suit right? Two weeks ago I had a practice run at a County Fair and I must say I had really no desire to eat all that yummy FATTENING food … don’t get me wrong it smelled so good but I didn’t want any of it. I did take a bite out of Jaden’s corn dog and then had a ½ of a chicken strip but other than that it was fun to actually go to a fair and enjoy the atmosphere more than the food. Food has ruled my life for so long I wasn’t sure what to do at a fair except eat. That experience gave me a practice run for the MN State Fair that starts today. We are planning on going September 4th and I am sure it will be great fun! Jaden is getting so much older that she can really start to enjoy the fair! I also attended my 1st Twins Game last week and didn’t think twice when it came to sitting in the seat. Normally I would be nervous that I would encroach on someone else’s seat but I was able to sit there like a "normal" person. Once again a good feeling! I still haven’t attempted the twisty slide at the park but it is on my list … So let’s see where do I stand after 4 weeks? Well I am down 35 pounds total and 26.25" all together … that last part shocked me the most! I am still not able to "see" the weight loss like others can but I can tell when I get dressed … my clothes are happily getting baggy and that is a HUGE PLUS! I was actually able to fit into the next size down last week and could STILL breathe! I have clothes in my closet for the next 4-5 sizes so it should be interesting when I re-introduce myself to those neglected clothes! But it will feel even better when I am out of them again but this time because I need smaller ones NOT bigger ones … I happened to weigh Jaden yesterday too and she weighed in at 36 pounds! I had to laugh a bit because I just lost an entire one of her – 1 pound! When I pick her up it is socking to me to realize I carried that much more around just 4 weeks ago! Already my knees and ankles are 100% better and I am "lighter" on my toes … not running yet BUT that is a goal as well! Oh and the day of surgery I took my blood pressure medicine and I am proud to say that I haven’t needed a single pill since my day of discharge … my blood pressure was sitting around 123/76 when I was discharged and was at 150/78 the day I got the staples removed. I have my 6 week check-up with Dr. Jacob’s on Sept. 8th and a nutritionist appointment after that. Then on the 9th I have an appointment with my primary to be taken completely off the blood pressure pills. To think that my one and only co-morbidity is gone already! JOY! Well I will end this rambling here and once again say THANK YOU to all those that have kept up with me … My family is very important to me and to have all their support has made my decision all that much easier and now to be able to share my progress with them is what they deserve! And of course to my neighbor and FRIEND Jill … you are an amazing inspiration to me and without you there I have no idea where’d I’d be … oh and your banana muffins were delicious and SUGAR FREE! I will be back of course … and to all those looking into this procedure … GOOD LUCK!

August 10, 2004 ~ Hello everyone! Well I thought that now since I have some time I will update everyone on the actual surgery and how I am doing 15 days later! I was the first surgery of the day for Dr. Jacobs so I had to be at HCMC by 6:00am for check-in and pre-op procedures. At about 6:45am I was taken to the actual surgery waiting area where all the anesthetic "stuff" occurs and Jason was taken to the waiting area. I was doing really well until the anesthesiologist came over and started talking about the things he was going to do. I started crying at that point wondering if I was going to wake-up. Luckily they let me take a picture of Jaden into the operating room. After I was given the "I don’t care" medicine Dr.Jacobs came over and was talking to me and asking how I was and if I was ready. Of course I was BUT I was scared. He was so nice to me and was rubbing my shoulder telling me everything was going to be fine. Frankly that is the last thing I remember, the rest is a blur. I do remember someone saying they were there to babysit Jaden’s picture until I was out of surgery. For me the surgery flew by and the next thing I remember is the feeling of the throat tube being removed … then being wheeled around a corner and they said "here is your husband". I opened my eyes and saw him but then I was sound asleep again. I didn’t experience any real "pain" until I started to wake-up a bit and then realized that I had to go to the bathroom. I must say that the pain I experienced trying to sit up was awful. It was the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life. Luckily I was given some morphine and was able to get up eventually BUT it didn’t end there. Due to the fluids they give you via I.V. I had to get up 9 times to go to the bathroom that day and frankly it sucked! The next day was a little easier and I was finally unhooked from the I.V. pole and was able to take a shower and wear "real" clothes. A shower always makes me feel better and this was no exception. I didn’t experience a bit of hunger the first 4 days which surprised me quite a bit. I thought I would at least be a little hungry but I wasn’t. I was finally able to drink fluids on the 2nd day and even that was hard. Drinking the cold water did in fact hurt like everyone said it would at all the meetings. Luckily the pain has subsided now and I am able to drink cold water with regular "gulps" and no pain. That has made life easier because I was craving a giant cold glass of water and drinking it at room temperature was gross. I was released from the hospital after 2 nights and got home by 10:30 am Wednesday. The ride home was a little rough because of all the pot holes and bouncing that just hurt like crazy but once I was home I parked myself on the couch with a heating pad on my back and a whole bunch of pillows. I must say that the incision part of the surgery was painful BUT my back and sides hurt worse than the incision. Dr. Jacobs informed me that they take a rib extractor to lift up your ribcage to get in there and do the surgery so NO WONDER my back and sides hurt. Thankfully the incision pain and the back/side pain all ended by the 8th/9th day. After I got through the first week everything got better. I didn’t eat very much for the first week and tried to drink as much as I could. I did eat some things such as yogurt, pudding, mashed potatoes and cottage cheese. I have been able to keep everything down and by the 2nd week I was eating my first piece of chicken and string cheese. I tolerated that well but after 2 bites it felt like I had ate Thanksgiving Dinner … what a strange feeling that was! I ended up getting pretty bored the 2nd week at home so I kept busy with some scrap booking projects. By Wednesday September 4th I was heading back to Dr. Jacobs office with my Mother-In-Law to get my staples removed. I must admit I was more scared to get those out than I was about the surgery … just didn’t want it to hurt and of course IT DIDN’T! It was weird feeling but not painful by any means. It was Wednesday when I got weighed and logged in 15 pounds less than I started out at on the day of surgery. I was very surprised and excited. I had never been that excited to weigh myself in my entire life. It was a great feeling. Dr. Jacobs came in and said I was looking good and the incision looked wonderful. He also said I was a little ahead of the game with the loss so far and he was pleased with the results. I will go back to see him on September 8th for another check-up. Dr. Jacobs nurse; Becky, then came in and put some special "glue" on my stomach and added some steri-strips to it … she said they would come off on their own and to continue to wash it normally. After the staples were out I felt so much better … the constant tugging on my skin was gone and I felt as if I was able to move around a lot more. It was also the first time I slept the ENTIRE night in my bed since surgery … it was hard to move around and get up with the staples so I slept on the bouncy sofa bed. Ever since the staples were removed I have felt better and better. I still have some "irritation" in the area but it is not pain. There is also some numbness still but Becky said that is normal since they cut through your nerves during surgery. All in all I am thrilled with how I am doing so far and so happy I decided to take this next step in my life towards health and happiness. I have tolerated all the food I’ve tried so far (KNOCK ON WOOD) and have eaten things from pudding to a ¼ of a baked potato. I am taking 1500mg of Calcium a day in the form of the Viactiv Chews as well as the Flintstones Chewable Tablets. I am trying to get in my water but it is still hard. As far as the eating goes I'm still just not hungry in general. I try to eat dinner simply so we can still eat as a family but usually it gets thrown out. It is a great feeling to be losing and I already feel happier about myself. I did; however, have my 1st breakdown on Saturday when I opened the fridge and saw a Root Beer Soda in there … it was just waving at me! I closed the door and told my friend she needed to take that soda home with here when she leaves … I was proud that I didn’t give in … I recommend this surgery to anyone who has done the research and is serious about gaining their life back and losing the weight! I don’t know where I would be without Jill – not only was she my "guinea pig" but she has uplifted and inspired me to become healthy and happy … my family has ALL been amazing and I cherish every one of them … I also love my husband now more than ever … he took amazing care of me and was there for me through every tear and scream … and of course my baby Jaden – she is one of my main reasons for living! Talk to you all soon …

August 05, 2004 ~ YUP I MADE IT!~ I am officially on the "other side". My surgery went well and was completed in 1 1/2 hours! I must admit the first week sucked but the first day was the worst! Of course getting up to pee 9 times when you have 19 staples in your gut would hurt anyone! I am now 10 days out and went to get my staples out yesterday AND of course to get weighed ... I am already down 15 pounds! I was shocked and have never been SO excited to get weighed in my entire life! Dr. Jacob's talked to me for a bit to see how I was doing to to look at the incision and then his nurse Becky (who is wonderful) came in and took my blood pressure ... which was 150/76! I was surprised since I haven't taken my medication sine I left the hospital a week ago! Dr. Jacob's said I was a little ahead already and to just keep drinking plenty of water and in the beginning my body will do the work itself. Next week I should start my walking routine and by the time I go back in 5 weeks to see him I should be up to a 1/2 hour a day! I am so excited and look forward to SO many things I couldn't possibly list them ALL! I do however want to thank my mother-in-law for watching Jaden for me and for just being there when I needed someone ... of course my mom and dad as well ... you two are such an inspiration to me to get healthy and live longer and enjoy life ... thanks for loving me ... Jill, Of course without you I would stay miserable and all of my family and friends! You are the best support group I could ever have ... Now OFF to slimmer times and healthier days! Thank you for reading my journal today!

July 25, 2005 ~ Hi out there ... well I am "officially" less than 12 hours away from becoming a loser ... I don't have much to post besides the fact that I am SO excited and anxious to get on the other side ... as ALWAYS I want to thank my mom and dad and all my sisters and brother for always loving me no matter what. My husband Jason for being who he is ... my friends Jill and Jolene and SO many more and my mother-in-law who loves me just like I was her own daughter ... right now I am going to cuddle with my daughter, eat a WHOLE bag of Doritos and drink my 24 oz bottle of Dr. Pepper ... talk to you on the "OTHER SIDE" .... Love Rebekah

July 07, 2004 ~ I know, I know I should be on the "losing" side of things right now but due to a re-scheduling "thing" in Dr. Jacob's schedule my surgery is scheduled for Monday July 26, 2004! Don't get me wrong I am STILL thrilled as can be to be having this done I just wish I was on the other side NOW! I am looking forward to the next few weeks of living "fat and abnormal" for the simple reason that my fat days are numbered! I am almost there and looking forward to surgery day! My mom is getting here on Saturday July 24th and it is that day when we are heading out for my "last supper"! I am not really in the mood to eat anything special BUT I am looking forward to the grocery bill AFTER surgery! Not to mention the CLOTHES shopping to come ... Jolene you'd better watch out I might be calling you A LOT to go shopping! My husband Jason was talking about the surgery the other day and he mentioned he was nervous about the normal things you get nervous over (which I am too!) But he also said he is excited for me which makes my decision all that much easier in the long run! Support is what is really important and I THANK all of my family and friends for all of theirs! And as always JILL if it wasn't for you I would be staying on the path of unhappiness with myself! Well I will talk to you all again soon! My gall-bladder Ultrasound, Pre-op and Nutritional Meeting are all scheduled for Monday July 12th so see you then!

April 28, 2004 ~ I can not believe that in just 2 months from today I will be on the other side of this journey and my new life will have begun! WOW ... I get giddy inside when i really let myself think about it ... I just finished making my list of "WHAT TO DO WHEN I LOSE" ... I am sure I will add plenty more when I really start to lose and then realize all the things I am currently missing out on because of my weight! Well me and my husband are heading to Las Vegas in a week from tomorrow with some of our friends. I am so excited to go since I have never been there and my husband and I have never had a honeymoon. My little one will be getting spoiled at Grandma's house while her mommy is sitting by the pool relaxing ... I look forward to returning there after my "transformation" and really LAYING by the pool in something MUCH smaller ... thank you to everyone once again who is supporting me ... my husband of course and my mom (you are my treu best girlfriend) and of course Jill ... without you I would be remaining miserable ... and of course Jolene ... you have never once judged me and for that I am forever grateful to you ... your friendship means the world to me ... well enough of the tears and sniffles ON WITH MY LIST!

1.~ Be able to actually RUN "freely" without turning blue
2.~ play with my daughter EVERYWHERE and ANYTIME she asks me
3.~ Fit down the slides at the park
4.~ Go shopping ANYWHERE and actually buy something that will fit
5.~ Bend over and tie my shoes
6.~ Tuck my shirt in and feel comfortable
7.~ Not panick when there are only booths left at a restaurant
8.~ Sit on Jason's lap without him turning BLUE in the face
9.~ Travel by air without stares and feeling comfy in the seat
10.~ Hang clothes out to dry without them looking like giant tarps
11.~ Swim with my daughter withou feeling self-conscious
12.~ Ride a bike as a family WITH no "I'm tired" excuses for stopping
13.~ Have my weight me within the limits listed on those folding camp chairs
14.~ Feel pretty again (and look it too)
15.~ Buy tons of new clothes for a new ME
16.~ Buy underwear from Victoria's Secret and have them fit my waist not my ankle

LOVE all of you out there ... 2 months to go ... a lifetime of freedom!

April 01, 2004 ~ I HAVE A DATE! I HAVE A DATE! I HAVE A DATE! And boy is he a handsome prince ... My doctor's office just called me yesterday and said my insurance approved the surgery and my surgery date is .... drumroll! Monday June 28, 2004! Can you believe it? He actually had an opening for April 26th but I am going to Las Vagas for my last HURRAH the first weekend in May! I am so excited ... I can't wait to be on the other side and I am SO glad to be doing it with the help of my husband and daughter. Of course my family is there too, not to mention all my great friends. A friend of mine just recently said to remember that those who LOVE me will STILL LOVE me afterwards ... Thanks Jolene ... you are a true friend and love you for it! Well I have decided on my next scrapbook adventure and it will be my wieght loss journal (before and after) with pictures and thoughts. I will be sure to turn it into my coffee table book so when I am feeling down in the dumps I have something to LIFT me up! Thanks again to everyone ... and CONGRATULATIONS Jill on reaching the Century Mark ... You too are a wonderful friend!

88 Days to GO! (by who's counting!)

March 24, 2004 ~ Well I SURVIVED my first drive (alone) into downtown Minneapolis for my consultation appointment. I weighed in at 294.1 and was 63.5 inches tall. My blood pressure was high and i had the shakes real bad but other than that the appointment went really well. My pressure was taken at the beginning of my appointment and it was 150/90. Dr. Jacob's nurse Becky was very nice and she just kept reminding me to breathe and try to relax. I am not sure what it was when I left but I still had the shakes (probably since I hadn't eaten anything the whole day!) When I met Dr. Jacob's I was surprised to hear his voice. It was so soft and mellow. He is very nice and really went through the rouen-Y aspect of the surgery and the procedure itself. He said I am a good candidate for it since I am in the beginning stages of hyper-tension. He said that 1/3 of his patients come to him with no SERIOUS weight related health issues being aided by medication. He approved me for the surgery and is sending in my insurance paperwork as we speak. He said I should hear from Becky some time this week to go over some open surgery dates. I am SO excited ....

March 12, 2004 ~ Well my surgeon consulatation was re-scheduled (3 times NOW!) ... Dr. Jacob's had a FULL surgery date on the 27th so the appointment was changed to February 12th ... well my daughter was in the emergency room the Sunday before that and I had taken a LOT of days off from work so I called and re-scheduled it for March 19th. Just yesterday Doreen called to see if the time could be changed so NOW my date is Friday March 19th at 2:00 pm up at Hennepin County Medical Center. I am getting really excited since it is only a week from today ... not to mention I keep thinking that a year from now these "FAT" clothes will no longer fit ... I can't wait to be a loser and LOVE it ... on an even better note my daughter turned two on the 5th and we had a HUGE party for her on the 6th. ALL of my siblings PLUS my parents and a nephew all flew in from NY. It was SO nice to be together again and to be together in Minnesota. We all had a raelly great time and spent some of it at the Mall of America. I can't believe it has been two years already. She is as perfect and as beautiful as the day she was born and I Thank her everyday for loving me ... well I will post again after my consultation. Once again I give out a lot of THANKS to my parents, family and friends (especially Jill ... who I am sure I drive NUTSO with all the questions!) Love you all! Until NEXT TIME!

January 13, 2004 ~ Well after a hectic day yesterday I FINALLY made it to the clinic for my referral visit. I was scheduled at the wrong clinic so when I got there and they asked me who my appointment was with then promptly said "WHO?" It was then I knew I was in trouble. Came to be that my appointment was at another clinic about 20 minutes from where I was so I trekked as fast as I could to the other clinic and who would have known there are TWO of the same clinic's in Eden Prairie and OF COURSE I went to the wrong one ... JEEPERS, after finding the right place and being a half hour late I met with the Physician's Assistant and my physical was underway! I met with a PA named Tabby and I must say I have never felt MORE comfortable talking to a complete stranger about my weight issues before. She put me at ease and we went over the important criteria for the surgery. The only SERIOUS issue I had was my blood pressure being very high (HMM, could it be from all the driving and running around I did to get there?) When I first got there it was 180/100 ... HOLY CRAP! But by the time I left it was down to 158/90 so she was confident it wasn't a serious issue in need of medication! PHEW ... well I got the referral I needed and I spoke to Doreen at Dr. Jacob's office this morning! I couldn't believe he had a consultation appointment for February 9th ... I wasn't expecting that so I took a later one in the month so I could mentailly prepare myself for the quickness this has all happened... I can NOT believe this all happened so fast and relatively painful (SO FAR!) ... My surgery consultation with Dr. Jacob's is on Friday February 27th at 1:00 and my husband Jason is coming with me so I won't need to reiterate all the procedure do's and don'ts ... I am so grateful for him and cherish him everyday ... I am only a few months away from freeing my physical self ... THANK YOU AGAIN to everyone who supports me through this journey ... My husband, My daughter, My MOM, My GREAT friends Jill, Jolene and YOU TOO Jamie... I couldn't do this without your support!