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I have been horrible about keeping everyone posted on here about how life has been since surgery. On the 22nd I'll be 3 months post-op, and I have to say that I am doing awesome ^^

I have lost 67 pounds from my highest, and 48 since surgery. I've dropped from a size 30 to a 24, and am getting compliments from my friends as to how much better I look. 

My back used to ache whenever I walked for more than a couple of yards, but that is gone. I don't get winded when I walk, either and I definately have more energy. I don't spend as much time sleeping and mopping around.

I do sleep better at night and no long wake up to go to the bathroom. I have PCOS, but since surgery I've had my period on my own twice. Before surgery I had simply stopped having my monthy cycles, but now my body seems to be getting back on track.

My face has definately thinned out and it has been alot of fun to see my pants getting baggy.

For the most part I've been a good patient. I've followed the new diet to a T, and haven't experienced any vomitting or dumping. The one area I need to improve is my exercising - which up until today has been 0.

I am going to start walking everyday, for at least 20 minutes. I also have some easy yoga tapes that I can do as well. Anything helps.

All in all life is good and I can't complain. I am losing the weight and every day my world get a little better.

All my thanks is to God,

Well, here I am just over a month post-op. I've lost 44 pounds from my heighest weight and  24 pounds since surgery. I'm starting to see changest, esp. in my face. I took some full body pictures to see if I could see any difference yet, and in fact I can! My stomach isn't as round and the "fat rolls" on my back are beginning to disappear.

Even though I have a long way to go I am very happy that I am able to see some changes.

Not only have physical changes been taking place, but so have mental ones. I'm happier now that I have been over the past 5 years. I feel confident and hopeful about my future -- I love knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel with my weight issues. Food doesn't have so much control over me anymore, I am free.

I am also moving to Utah in a couple of weeks, which I am very excited about. I love Utah, have family and friends there, haved lived there before... so in many ways it feels like I'm going home. I will be going to a new university majoring in something that I love. I'm also excited about dating in the future and getting to meet so many good lookin' Mormon boys ^^

Life really is really lookin' up and for the first time in a long time I am truely happy.

Weight Loss Journey: Part 1

Surgery Day – 12/22/07

My weight on the morning of my surgery was 309. I know that sounds like a lot, but when you consider that I had already lost 19 pounds, I found it something to be rather excited about. My highest weight was 328.

I was surprised that I slept all through the night the evening before my surgery. I woke up extra early in order to shower and make sure I had packed everything that I would need at the hospital. I also was happy to see that I wasn’t scared at all, in fact I was rather excited and at peace with everything. Because of an incoming snow storm, we left the house just before 5:30am so then we’d be at the hospital by 6:00.

Once at the hospital I was taken back to Pre-Op. I was dressed in the fashionable hospital gown, and my hair wrapped up in a hair net. My vitals were taken, which of course were rather high because I was so freaked out. My nurse had a difficult time getting the IV put it. She failed to find a cooperating vein on my right arm, so she switched to my left. Eventually she found a good spot and hooked me up to the IV.

After I was all settled into my hospital bed my parents were allowed to come back and say “I love you” and “see you later.”  That is when I decided it was time to break out into tears. My fears overcame me and I just had to let it out. I was given something to help calm me down, but in all honesty it didn’t do a bit of good. They were finally ready for surgery and wheeled me off to the OR. I cried the entire way there and up until the point I was put to sleep.

The only thing I remember before falling asleep was me moving from the hospital bed over to the OR table. One of the assistances asked me if I wanted some pillows under my legs, which I did. Because I was still so upset I was given another dose of whatever-it-was to help me calm down. Someone came up next to me and held my hand, and then I was out.

The surgery seemed to be over before I knew it. I felt like I had just closed my eyes for a moment and then it was done. In reality, the process took 92 minutes. I woke up briefly after surgery as they were moving me from the OR table back to the hospital bed. They apparently had an inflatable cushion underneath me. They pumped it up with air and then slid me over to the bed.

I fell asleep again and actually had a brief dream, which is unusual. I dreamed that I was standing face-to-face with a man, but I wasn’t sure who it was. Even though he was standing in front of me, it seemed as if he was completely surrounding me. He then put his arms around me and gave me a big hug. Then I was told that I had just been saved.

And I know what I had been saved from – a life of obesity and depression. A life of loneliness and hopelessness. A life of misery and early death. A life filled with nothing.  I have been given a gift, a chance to make my life better. I have the opportunity to bring my dreams to reality and do everything in life that I’ve missed out on.  Having that dream has brought a great deal of comfort.

The next time I woke up I was in Recovery. Apparently I had been there for over an hour before I “came to.”  There was a guy in a bed next to mine who woke up at the same time I did. All he did was cuss and complain about the pain he was in. He was really rude and I didn’t like him one bit. He fell back asleep a couple of times, during which he would snore up a storm. I’m still deciding on which was worse.. the cussing or the snoring. It is a close call. I was seriously thinking about telling him to shut up, but instead I told a nurse that “that man isn’t very nice.” She agreed :0)

While in Recovery I kept asking for my mom and complained that my throat hurt. My stomach surprisingly didn’t hurt at all. I felt OK, except for the extreme drowsiness.  Once I was awake enough they finally took me up to my room. My mom was waiting in there for me, which I was very happy about.

After getting all situated, I was given a morphine pump, which I believe is the greatest invention of all time. Whenever I felt pain, I just pressed the pretty little red button, got a shot of Morphine and the pain was gone. I don’t know how long I was on the pump, but it was eventually taken away once I could handle taking liquid medication. I still miss the pump. :0(

The rest of my surgery day is still a blur to me. I know that they got me to stand, which hurt like heck. Eventually I was able to walk a few feet down the hall. The pain and discomfort was incredible and I was more than happy to get back in bed. I spent a great deal of time just sleeping – I doubt I was really expected to do much else.

During the night though is when some problems were encountered. I became dehydrated, and it didn’t matter how much fluid was pumped into me I just couldn’t make myself go to the bathroom. So, they did a bladder scan to see if I had anything to give. The first time there was enough to make the nurse use a catheter on me and drain my bladder. The second time I was convinced that I had nothing to give, because I just couldn’t sense that I needed to go. Another bladder scan was done, and this time my bladder was completely full – a whole pound of urine. Ew. So, once again, another catheter was put in to drain my bladder. And sure enough, I was full. Dang.

I was also woken up a lot during the night and ordered to go on a walk. I’m not sure how they expect patients to get better without sleep. I was extremely peeved and prayed that I could just be left alone. My prayers weren’t answered until Sunday night.

Come Sunday morning, I was wide awake and waiting for my parents to arrive at 8am. My parents came in right on time and they were happy to see me awake. While my parents were there the nurse brought me my first meal of 4 teaspoons of water. She told me to go through it slowly, so I followed her directions to the “T” and took an hour to drink it all down.

Because I was able to down all that water without vomiting, I was allowed to have my first “real” breakfast. I was given red Jell-O and some apple juice. I didn’t touch the juice and only took a very small bite of the wiggly stuff. Then I was full.

During this amazing feast I was sitting up in a chair. My pain medication had worn off and I was in a bit of pain. I was position very uncomfortably and I felt flushed. I had the most pathetic frown on my face and just kept on wondering if having the surgery was the right thing. My mom said I looked horrible and that I looked very pale. Trust me, I didn’t feel pretty.

Finally, the time came for my parents to go home. The snow outside was falling pretty fast and the wind. My parents weren’t able to return again Sunday, so I had to manage being sick on my own. That was a lot of home * sigh * I was really miserable without my parents there, and I know that they hated not being able to stay with me.

My parents didn’t miss out on much though. I turned into a stubborn mule that refused to do anything. I really didn’t want to eat, and I esp. didn’t want to bother drinking water. The fact that my stomach hurt whenever I did was enough to keep me away from my cup.

The afternoon nurse had no luck in getting me to do anything. I didn’t want to take a shower, I refused to go on walks, I didn’t want to drink… all I wanted was sleep.

My peaceful existence though ended once the evening nurse came on shift. She saw that I hadn’t done flip all day. She immediately got me out of bed and on a walk. Once I came back I was ordered to drink 3 glasses of water, I made it through 2. Later I was forced to shower, which was really hard to do when I really couldn’t move, and getting wet wasn’t preferable. I must have looked wretched standing there in shower, with a purple glove on my left hand to keep my IV from getting wet. I also had a JP tube coming out of my right side.

A JP tube is basically a drain that is put in place that helps take extra fluids and gunk away from my new stomach so then it has the chance to heal.

After my shower the nurse had to help me dry off, which I hated. Though, during this whole ordeal I got to the point where I didn’t care if someone saw me naked. It just didn’t matter anymore.

After my shower I was forced to go on another walk. When you’re sick and hurting, the hallways feel longer with each step you take. No fun whatsoever. As soon as I got back to my room I was drinking more water. Though, I was completely exhausted, but I wanted to follow orders as well. I ended up falling asleep with my glass in my hand.

Finally, the night shift nurse came in and I swear she was an angel. After she took my vitals she said that I could go to sleep for the night and that she’d leave me alone. As soon as she said that my IV in my hand began to hurt something fierce.

An IV nurse was brought in to take out my IV and put a new one in my arms. My hand was swollen and very sore, but I was thankful to have it removed.

I was thankful that I was able to talk to the IV nurse. It turns out that she also had the gastric bypass surgery. She lost 150 pounds and is having plastic surgery next month in order to remove extra skin. I had a lot of questions to ask her, I wanted to make sure that the things that I was experiencing were normal – and of course it was.

Finally everyone departed and I was given some peace. I slept all night long without waking up.

When morning rolled in one of the surgeons came to check in on me and was pleased with my progress and said I was good to go home. I was so happy! I called my parents to let them know I could leave, and dad sent on his way to get me.

I got my release orders and how to take care of myself at home. Dad arrived, I got dressed, and next thing I knew I was at home. As soon as I got home I slept for 22 hours, and it was beautiful.

I’ve lost 27 pounds already… and I can’t wait to be thin.

I was sure, beyond a doubt, that I was going to die while on the liquid diet - or at least go crazy.

The first 3 days of the diet was pure torture. There was a lot of crying and staying in my room. I second guessed my decision to have surgery many times during those 3 days. But, I also knew that quitting wouldn't solve anything either.

So, I got through the past 10 days and came out a little more prepared on the other side.

I think my only complaint right now is the laxative, it really sucks. But I think the worst of it is over, hopefully.

Now all that is left is the surgery itself :0) I've been really scared and nervous about the procedure, but I just keep telling myself that I have the best doctor around and that I will get through this just fine.

I surprised myself this morning when I woke up, unafraid of the surgery, but very excited of what is to come. Already I've been watching the scale go down. 16 pounds lost so far - and if I've happy about that, I can only imagine the high I'll get when I see I lost all 192. What a happy day that will be.

Thanks again to everyone for you support and encouragement. It has really meant the world to me.

I'll see you guys on the Skinny Side!!

Hey Everyone!

I just wanted ya'll to know that I have a surgery date for my gastric bypass! It will be on December 22 at 7:40am. I should only been in the hospital for a couple of days, coming home Christmas Eve :-)

I think this is the best Christmas present ever! I'm getting my life back :0)

I was approved for surgery this past Monday! I was actually very worried that the approval wouldn't come through and was prepared to appeal. Though, that wasn't the case at all.

I actually got the call while I was on the road to FL. I really couldn't hear what the lady was saying, and didn't understand what was going on until she said that we needed to make an appointment for me to meet with Dr. Jones. That's when I understood that it was a go!

So, next Wed. I will meet with the doctor and have an ultrasound on my gall bladder done. On Dec. 10th I have another meeting with the dietitan and then I should be well prepared for surgery.

I'm still hoping to have it done sometime at the end of next month. I am very excited and can't wait!

Today I was down at Methodist hospital all morning. My appointments actually went really well, better than I had expected. I was worried that I wouldn't be at a level that they wanted me at, and that I would be put on different programs before I could progress in towards the surgery. However, that wasn't the case.

I first went and had an EKG done by a really cute black guy. I mean...C-U-T-E! I, of course, I to take off *all* my clothes from the wasit up while he got to attach little sticky pads all over my body. Hah. Anyways.... my EKG was fine. I have a heart! YAY!

Next, after MUCH waiting, I met with the dietitian. She was very impressed with my progress and said I was doing great. She just had a couple of suggestions and things I need to work on, and she said that she'd go on and give her approval.

I then met with the bariatric doctor, who actually I met before at the eating disorders institute. My cholestoral went up 17 points and is now boarderline again. My bloodpressure was GREAT, but my Iron was off. So, I'm on an Iron pill, along with vitamin C until I have the surgery. My thyroid for once was also not within range, and she asked that I get that checked again in 4-6 weeks. Everything else though was fine, she said I was a good canidate for surgery, and gave me her OK.

Finally, I hung out with the physical therapist (who I can tell hates her job). I didn't like her much, but whatever. She had me do some arm exercises, took a 6 minute walk to check out how my heart works, and ended our session with leg stretches. She gave me lots of paperwork with workout instructions on it, and then sent me on my way.

What now, you say? After I have my sleep study tomorrow night my bariatric nurse will pull together all my information, write up a letter, and send it to my insurance company for surgery approval. It could be up to a month before we hear back from them, that's OK though.

Once I have their approval, an appointment will be set to meet with Dr. Jones - after which we'll make a date for the surgery.

So, that's where we stand as of now.

All righty, so I went and had my meeting with the psychologist this morning and did really well. She was pleased with where I'm at with my depression right now and how I'm managing it. She gave me some tips and advice that I'll follow through with in the coming months.

With her OK I went ahead and set up the rest of my appointments with the dieitian, physical therapist, bariatric docter, and having an EKG done - all of that will take place the morning of Thursday October 11th. Busy day! The next evening on the 12th is when I'll be having my sleep study done. I have to be there at 7:30pm and will be let go just after 6am. I'm really hoping that I'm actually able to get some sleep that night.. I'm afraid that I'll be too "set out of place" and too nervous to really fall alseep. Oh well, I guess I'll just see how it goes.

Well.. that's all for now :0)

Okay, so... here's the latest.

I went in and had a computer psychological test today which took forver to complete. I had to answer 567 True/False questions about myself. Most of them were the usual crap: "I consider myself shy," "I love my dad," etc... However, there was one that stood out to me more than the rest: "I am often possessed by evil spirts." I'm sorry, but I had to laugh about that one. I was so tempted to mark "True" but figured that would be really bad.. .since it is a psych exam. Heh. So, "False" was marked :-p There were a few other ones like that (they're trying to weed out the real weirdos), but none of them were as funny as that.

So, after the 567 questions, I had 37 questions to answer about my quality of life.. what i consider important in life, blah blah blah. And then had to fill out a little info packet about my mental health history. Yay. Boring.

After that was FINALLY over, I met with Dave - a bariatric nurse. He was really cool, we had a lot to talk about and he helped explain some more stuff to me. No more sodas (caffine and carbanation, byebyes!) No breads, no pastas, no rice, and no meats. Oh yeah... no ice cream :0( But you know, I want this new life bad enough that I am MORE THAN WILLING to give up whatever I have to. NO COMPLAINTS FROM ME.

Dave also discussed with me the process that I'll be going through the next few weeks, well.. months. I meet with the psychologist on Wed. to review my test. After that I'll be setting up appointments to meet with a bariatric doctor (NOT the surgon), a physical therapist, and a registered dietitian. I will also have blood work taken this Wed., and will set up an appointment for sleep study.

Yes, a sleep study. Dave asked some questions about my sleep habits, and well.. it turns out that I may have sleep apnea. Which explains, Eran, why I'm always SO TIRED. People that have S.A. usually are always sleepy and take a lot of naps and such - and well, that's me. So.... I get to go have wires hooked up to me and try to sleep with them on. Yay. Probably at some point during the night they'll come in and slap a C-PAP machine on my face to help me breathe during the night. I'll then offically be on one of those until all my excess weight is gone and I no longer have S.A.

Ok, on top of all the stuff the bariatric program wants from me, I'll also be having 5 phone interviews with people from my health insurance company, Health Partners. They wanna run me through their own program.. talking to nurses and dietitians and such. That'll be over the course of 10 weeks.

Alright, it isn't over yet...

I'm now on a little exercise program. I need to do SOMETHING (walk, workout video, crunches, etc.) for AT LEAST 15 minutes every other day. Starting tomorrow.

I will also be keeping a food log for the next 3 days for the dietitian to review when I meet with her.

Okay.. that covers all the stuff I have to do for now....

Now for the fun info....

Dave was telling me how much I can expect to lose after having surgery. On average, people lose about 75% of their excess weight (i.e., if you're 100 pounds overweight, you can expect to lose 75). With those numbers, he said my "goal" is 183. Which is funny, cause my lowest weight was 185. Ha ha. (Dang I got --FAT--) However, the IDEAL WEIGHT I should be at (and strive to get down to) is actually 136 pounds. Just so then you can gasp at the figure... that's 190 pounds LESS THAN I WEIGH NOW.

.................

*observe a moment of silence, i know you need it*

.................

That's like, a whole adult person PLUS a child.

.................

Yeah, I need a break there for a moment, too. HA.

.................

All right, so.. as things stand now... I am looking at having surgery sometime between December and January. That sounds far off, but will actually be here soon than I think.

I'M SO EXCITED

Well, things for me got a little off track the during the past month. I felt that I lacked the support I needed in order to carry through with the surgery, so I felt depressed and dropped out. I joined up with the Eating Disorders Institute at Park Nicollet, but it wasn't a good fit for me. 

Today though, my parents talked to me and my mom is on board with the idea of having surgery - so I called the hospital back up and reset my first appointments. Sept. 10th and 12th is when I'll start getting the ball rolling again. 

So, here I go again....