Kenyata

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Ok, so my pre-requisite visit to the hospital and my surgeons office was not nearly as bad as I expected it to be...I arrived at 8:30am and reistered for my stay in the hospital...I filled out some forms, requested a private room, made sure my insurance info was correct, etc...every one was extremely nice and I held my breath as to when they would draw my blood(back to that old fear) and waited for my name to be called...when I went back to the hematology lab and a very nice lady named Lynette told me that she was drawing the blood from my vein and that a respiratory blood specialist was going to come down to take the blood from my artery...I nearly passed out!  She couldn't find a vein in my arm and ended up taking it from the top of my hand---didn't feel a thing...she talked to me the whole time telling me how cute I was and how much this was going to change my life and before I knew it she was done!  Love her...then she walked me to the other lady who I thought was surely there to kill me and she seemed pleasant, but I was immediately nervous because they had 2 people in the room and they both had gloves on, so naturally I asked them exactly what they planned to do...Victoria told me that the other lady was just there in case she had trouble finding an artery or if I said I was comfortable if she had to try more than once...so I calmed down...until she leaned forward and slightly downward as if she was going to take the blood from my leg...but she was actually just moving because her back was bothering her...she advised me that where she was drawing the blood from was usually uncomfortable and that it would be over very quickly...I kept very still and closed my eyes for about 15 or 20 seconds while she prepared...next thing I knew she said "Ok, Kenyata." I opened my eyes and this fool was done...I was so excited I hugged her and the extra lady and ran back and hugged the first lady!  Sooooooooooooooooo.....then they told me that I could head to my abdominal ultrasound early...now this is what I expected to be fairly easy...just run the wand and some gel over my upper abdomen...NOOO!  How about the gel was heated...too damn hot for my taste, so I felt like it was burning me, then the lady was bearing down with all her might and making me hold some crazy positions all while laying down and keeping my arms above my head...I know I am big, but not nearly big enough that the amount of pressure she applied could be deemed necessary...and it took like 15 minutes, but I guess I shouldn't complain...but I was NOT expecting that...then when it was over and I was just putting my shirt back on there was a knock on the door...I had seen this man that was also a technician walking around doing whatever, well this fool said that he saw my name on the chart and had to meet me...first of all why was he reading my chart-nosiness is worse than stealing and will get you cursed out...second, why not wait for me to come out of the room...I mean knocking and then walking in without permission(Jomo Kenyatta-the man I am named after was the first president of free Kenya) and shamelessly flirting and what not...I had to ask this ignoramus to leave before I cursed him out, and he had the nerve to look hurt---what in the hell?...how tacky...but anyway, it was only 11:00am by this time and my appt with my NP for my physical was not until 2:00pm...went to get something to eat from the cafeteria (where the technician from above was conveniently on lunch break and proceeded to sit across from me and stare at me)...and then received a call on my cell phone that I also had to do a EKG and chest xray...so I happily ran to do that...then listened to my Ipod and read my book and before I knew it I was being called back for my physical...which was over in less time than it took me to take off my clothes and put them back on...my final synopsis:  Nothing nearly as bad as I expected unless you consider the fact that I was there from 8:30am-3:30pm...

Liver Shrinking Diet is not too bad unless you consider that I have to pee every hour---literally...and that I am craving simple things like honey peanut butter and strawberry jam on oatmeal crunch bread and grilled provolone cheese on double fiber honey wheat bread with tomato soup sprinkled with asiago cheese!  Help me Jesus!  But I will make it through...lolNow I am just chillin' til I have surgery...haha

Not really nervous...a co-worker has broken it down for me step by step( I know our experiences won't be the same--but knowing the basics does help)...kinda nervous about the drawing of blood--just because of that childhood experience, anytime there is someone new involved I get nervous...but other than that I am so movtivated and pumped...I have been talking to alot of people who look great and none of them have had plastic surgery(not that there's anything wrong with it) but I am just terrified of doing anything else...getting here was hard enough...lol.  So lot's of great advice from them...I am going to ask my surgeon to take me out starting on the 8th of February so I can have about a week to finish getting everthing I need to do done and just take some deep breaths...

I am not scared of the surgery itself anymore...now I am feeling a little taken back by the fact that everything seems to happen so fast and it's like bam!!! you have this new body and people are looking at you and treating you differently and you are kinda in shock because you are the same person inside and I know that some of it will kinda hurt and I am almost already expecting to lose some "friends" along with all the weight.  But the more I think about it the more I am comforted by the fact that they were never really friends to begin with...but the momentary sting will still be there...oh well, c'est la vie,oui?  And I know that I am doing this for me so that's all that matters...

Anywho, I will update on Friday as to how my long day at the hospital goes...

I mean I have encountered some of  the most helpful and genuinely sweet people here...I just had to say that...Elaine, QwnBee, Harriet, Leslie, Teresa, PJ'sMommy, etc...Just plain beautiful people!  Had to say that to everyone!

I have had 2 of my main supporters tell me that they are already kinda envious of the results I am gonna have...now I haven't even had surgery yet...so this is kinda odd for me...I guess I should take it as a compliment since they know I have hired a trainer ( and paid for her to come to my house 5 days a week for 1 yr) and whip me into shape...they know that I am very serious about using this tool to change my health and my life.  They know I am determined and when focused can do anything...but I guess my fear is that even with our friendships both being strong and secure, when feelings of envy are a factor people sometimes (most times) will turn on you.  I don't want to have to go through that ( even though I know it's inevitable, especially with friends and family)...so just venting about that...

Also I am trying to figure out how it is going to work with people who (specifically men)  I am been friends with and I can pretty much tell that we have great chemistry, but that my weight is a factor...when they see how I look will they try to make a move (although they have been advised that they will be cursed out and denied if they try this) and even if they don't act on it, will they have issue with the fact that I am getting so much more attention...I am just thinking about all the things that will change in my life over something a small a my weight...I think weight is as big an issue as race or class...it's like you are almost sub-human if you are overweight...I guess it's because people can see your issue right off...as opposed to having a drinking or gambling or shopping problem...which are only visible if they are really bad...I am just tired of being treated differently because of my weight...

I guess I am done with venting for the day...on the other hand though, I have a really good friend (like a sister) who is so excited for me and can hardly wait and she has helped to calm my nerves because she is confident that I will be healthier, happier, and look great...so I should count my blessings and just shut the hell up !   LMOA  :)

I am at the point where I am ready to have surgery and be in the recovery process...I don't want to rush it or anything, but all these appts., and seeing others around me on the mend, (several people at my job are and have had this surgery) is just making me want to get it over with.  I guess I just want to get the scary parts (for me anyway) over with.  
But other than that I am ok...just trying to make sure that I have everything I need for when I am released from the hospital.  I have about 6 days until I have to begin my 2 week pre-op Liver Shrinking Diet so I guess I should lose some weight with that.  I think once I make it through 2 or so days of that I will be alright.  I have a wealth of knowledge because between my last 2 jobs I know around 9 people who have had some type of weight loss surgery and they have all been telling me not to compare myself to anyone else, but still offering great tips and pointers so that I can be successful too...which is a wonderful blessing.  So I guess I can't complain.