Jeannee

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Here it is, Dec. 10 already and I have to go back to my PCP in 10 days for my monthly diet check in.  I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!  I had been doing pretty good on my diet...until this last week.  I'm still not smoking...but it seems like I'm trying to put anything and EVERYTHING into my mouth!  I've not gained anything...but I've not lost anything either.  I've got 10 days to really get busy and try to lose a couple of pounds so I can document that there is some sort of progress going on!!!  

I went to my orientation at Solutions for Life the other night.  It was interesting and informative.  I was able to ask about my history with blood clots and if that would exclude me as a candidate for WLS.  Dr. Early didn't seem to think so.  He said the surgeons could actually but in some sort of a "screen" that would catch any clots that might form.  I will have to visit with the surgeons and see exactly what they think, but the news was encouraging.  At least my hopes of this surgery weren't blown completely out of the water, and that is what i was afraid of.   I found out that the pre op classes are held on Wed. evenings.  That was good to know because I had one of my college courses scheduled for Wed. nights starting in January.  (I'm going back to school for my RN)  I was able to change my class schedule so I'll have Wed. nights open.  I'm hoping to start the pre op classes in February. 

Well today is Dec. 5, 2006 and orientation day at Solutions for Life.  I'm excited to go tonite and have alot of my questions answered.  Hopefully I'll have a better knowledge of where I stand in this whole confusing journey.  My PCP is supporting my decision of looking into WLS, however she felt I should do the 6 month diet through Solutions for Life.  Well, ONE phone call was enough for me to figure out there was no way I am gonna be able to afford THAT program in my lifetime!!!  Wow, I couldn't believe the cost!!!  Even though Cigna has coverage for "medically necessary" wls....and even though they REQUIRE the 6mo diet, etc. etc. etc......anything to do with weight loss is explicitly excluded!!!  Go figure.  So back to my PCP I go.  

I do have good news though!!!   I have QUIT SMOKING!!!!  The only thing that outdates smoking in my lifetime is my struggle with  weight.  The funny thing is....I quit so easily this time.  COLD TURKEY!  I've never been able to get through that first week before.  I was a total raging hormonal bitch the first couple of days.  But once I made it through day 3, things have been a breeze.  I've known that I need to quit for years, and I knew that I needed to quit to be considered as a candidate for surgery.  Now, if only the dieting would come as easily!!!  I've been dieting since  Nov. 25. and I've not been doing too bad.  BUT...it seems that every day I mess up ONCE.  I beat myself up over it afterward...but can't seem to stop myself ahead of time.  I mean, I'm not binging or anything....but for example...I just HAD to have that sausage with my breakfast....400 calories and 38 grams of fat that blew my diet over the top for that day.  The next day we had our xmas dinner for work.  I ate fine all day...even did pretty good through the xmas dinner.  But  I just HAD to have that piece of carrot cake!!!  Not one...but TWO!!!   Damn....right over the top again on what would have otherwise been a perfect day.  I am eating WAY better than before....but sometimes I just feel like such a failure that I don't seem to have the will power to resist temptation.  I've not stepped on the scales yet...plan on doing that this weekend.  Hopefully I'll have lost a few pounds, even with the cheating.

I woke up today feeling horrible.  It's Thanksgiving, which has always been a memorable holiday around our house, but I just don't feel like doing anything.  I woke up in so much pain this morning.  I can't lay in bed anymore for more than about 5 hours without my back killing me.  I wake up and I can barely move.  I know my weight is killing me.  Every day I feel it's effects on my body more and more.  I'm tired of being tired, and sick of hurting all the time.  Hoping and praying that this whole process of getting approved will move along smoothly.
Okay...I'm gonna quit whining now.  Just needed to vent.

Well, I've been spending alot of time here on OH, and I'm finding alot of information!  I made an appointment with my PCP today to talk to her about the possibility of WLS.  She was very, very supportive and gave me a referral to a specialist here in Wichita.  So at least now the ball is rolling.  I have to attend a seminar early in December, then meet with the doctors.  

There is a possibility I could be refused for surgery due to my history of blood clots.  I'm really hoping this won't be the case and that they will feel my weight is more of a risk than surgery.  Only one way to find out....pursue it!!

I'm so excited to find out that our insurance will be covering wls after the first of the year!  I've always wished it could be an option for me, and now that it will be covered by insurance I am wanting to explore my options.  Bypass vs Lapband???  There is so much to learn...and I don't have a clue as where to start, especially since the insurance hasn't even gone into effect yet.  I figured OH is the place to start...hoping to find lots of info and make friends along the way....and to finally looking forward to a NEW YEAR!!!