fishermry
1/17/08
Jan 17, 2008
I have a favorite radio station in houston, basically I listen to it all the time. I live in what is called the east side of town. My fav station uses "sky fox" helicopter to report traffic. This guy...........for lack of a better term, always calls the east side the working side as in blue collar. It annoys me.....as if there are no laborers that live on the west side.........why label/stereotype sides of town?
I like to think that I'm just smart for not living where it takes 1.5hrs to get anywhere because of the traffic.
So for weeks this has bothered me and surely I'm not the only one.........so, I picked up my cell as I have the numbered programmed on my phone and called. I voiced my complaint and the person on the phone immediatley relayed my complaint to the person in the copter. I FEEL BETTER.
They both acted less than bothered by my complaint, but thats not the point......I made an effort and had courage to do something that I feel strongly about.
BTW, the very next traffic update......he did it again.
1/16/08
Jan 16, 2008
I swear I have been working on this since atleast November. I realize that some find that doubtfull, but its the truth.
My surgeons office called back and said she now has my sleep study and all she needs is my weights with dates and a PCP letter. She also stated that she would like to get my packet to Dr. Davis for H&P before he leaves for vacation so she can submitt to insurance while he's away. I would like that too.............however...."not happnin" as my chart from my PCP is still somewhere in outter space. Why me?
It seems as though these things always bring up doubt...I say to myself, if it is this difficult does that mean its not meant to be or Is God trying to tell me something? I wish this was not my way of thinking. Note to self.....work on that.
My husband completed his nutrition and psych eval at University General today......they are quick. He also has all of his records from his old PCP, all he needs is records from new PCP and 3 months of weight management.
Today I am thankful for...........decaffinated iced tea. LOL
RECORDS 1/15/08
Jan 15, 2008
So I went to the appt today hoping to walk out with everything that I needed for Dr. Davis' office. WRONG. My PCP told me she would be happy to do the letter just as soon as they could find the chart.........OMG.
Dr. Davis' office called on my way to the appt to remind me of ALL the documents that they still need....LOL
What I would give to get them.
So, all that said, today I am thankful for ..............not sure at this point. LOL
My husband went to his seminar on saturday at university general hospital, I was able to go with him. What a beautiful facility. It really is 5 star.
They have already scheduled his nutrition classes for tommarrow and they request records for you. He may have surgery before me..................at the rate I'm going.
today 1/9/08
Jan 09, 2008
Aknowledging wrong of any type is useless if one can not accept what we aknowledge. I feel as though I have aknowledged in the past but was not comfortable accepting what I realized. Therefore "burying my head in the sand" so to speak and refusing to accept that a problem existed............which I believe causes discord in ourselves and our relationships.
I am still waiting on my surgeons office to call and let me know that they received my sleep study. I was told at the consultation that they would call me as my paperwork arrived.......hum.
That said, I was able to sleep with the CPAP for about 4 hours today. Could be that I was soooo tired from working all night with little to no sleep the day before.
Open eyed, eared and minded 1/8/08
Jan 08, 2008
For many years I have been in a place of acceptance. Accepting that things are the way they are, or what will be will be. Never once did I consider or even try to change a thing about a situation or position that I may have been in. Why? I didn't think it possible, didn't have enough faith in my self to try or maybe I was content with discontent. Whatever the case maybe I know realize because I opened my eyes, ears and mind that I do have the power and want too to promote change. WOW!!
I am also thankful for my God, Jesus Christ for leading my on a path of selfdiscovery and I'm thankful to myself for taking the correct path at the correct time.
I'm starting to belief that life is a journey, one of left then right turns each one preparing us for the next freeway. The bump in the road that we would have not dodged had we not made the correct left turn 2 years ago.
Falling off the wagon
Jan 06, 2008
The day was spent feeling defeated for one reason or another, yelling at my child for little or no reason, bitching a hubby........then feeling bad about me for what I did. Then having a diet coke and fried chicken for dinner.
I'm gettin' there my golly!!!
Girl's Day
Jan 05, 2008
Girl's day generally means shopping in my house.......exactly what it was......way too much shopping. I took Emily and her friend to build-a-bear and they each bought themselves a freind2bmade doll with their own money. Then of course we had to hit the after christmas sales.......more new clothes for Emily.LOL
Early and I had been wanting to try a fish recipe that we had seen on the Ziploc steam bag website. It was a recipe for Cod, so I also bought some cod. He ended up working late, but we had dinner as soon as he arrived.
Im not a fish eater but we are tring healthy recipes and cod is LOADED with protein so I tried it. Not too bad, I could make myself eat it if need be. He loved it, said he could eat it everyday.
On the protien note, I have been successful for 3 days at getting and adequate amount of protein in........but Im afraid that after surgery with the volume limit it will be difficult.
Addiction
Jan 05, 2008
Now I'm battleing with the diet coke (which I must toss away before surgery). This includes stopping caffeine and carbonation as well as some degree aspartame............its a biggy. Its been 4 days with less than 20oz of caffeine, apartame or carbonation. uhwee!! not easy. Dull achy headaches with crankiness and sleepy.
I have always said that any thing worth doing is worth doing right.......if its not done right why bother. It seems to be that I have lived my life in this fashion for many years, except that I didn't bother trying. Times have changed, I have changed. Now I desire greatly to do things that are worth doing right.
I refuse to have this surgery with the mind set that I will be able to eat and drink when and how I want for the rest of my life. With that said, this is why I'm battling with these addictions now......while I can.
Addictions in fact have been a large part of who I've been for sometime. A friend of mine says that addiction is any thing that comes between you and who ever your God is. God in the since of spirituality or Savior, however you choose to look at it (not necessarily religion). I have recently come to realize that addiction for me is anything that comes between me and what I want to be and know I should be or could be. ie healthy, active, the best mom, wife and friend possible. Then when I'm not the person I want to be, I beat my self up, putting me at the lowest low possible and feeding my addiction.
Going into this surgery I find it imparative that I search for what it is that I'm feeding each and everytime I sit down to eat....Am I fueling my body or am I beating my self up now?
My fear of not conquering these addictions (food, diet coke, cigarettes, and many others) now is "addiction transformation". We have all seen Oprah and other talk shows in which the participates became alcholics and the such after bariatric surgery. It fears me......as I have a weakness for addiction for whatever reason.
So with that said I have choosen to tell people how I feel and what my fear is and surround myself with people that know, love and care about me. That requires facing my fears, establishing relationships and rebuilding those that I have destroyed. Rebuilding those relationships includes fullfilling promises that I have made to myself and others and recomitting myself to the relationship. This has been somewhat difficult as t requires of me to admitt that I have been wrong.......knowing that I'm wrong has never been a problem...admitting it has.
Today I am grateful for....... time to reflect.....reflect on the past and look hopefully at the future.
It's my life
Jan 03, 2008
Ok world I say it again.......to thine own self be true......and I will not force my oppinions on you if you don't force yours on me. That is my gripe for today again.
Since my MD's office was giving me such a hard time getting my records, I called my sleep lab to get me a copy of my report sent to the surgeon as this is my ticket ("so to speak" as my BMI is 39 I must prove that I have CAD, OSA, treatment for HTN and/or Diabetes). Finally a nice person, she sent it no questions asked. Then she told me she had the procedure in 2003 has had some recent complications but has no regrets about have the surgery. Its nice to not hear peoples negative opinion when you tell them your plans.......she says people are ignorant and just don't understand.......I agree.
I rec'd my Cpap today, I hope I can use it and I pray it helps.
Surgical consultation
Jan 02, 2008
I spoke with my MD's office again today, was told that they could get the letter for me today.....just call back in 30 min and I'll let you know if its done and you can come and get it. I said I'm sleeping as I worked 12 hours the night befofe and had to work 12 hours that tonight and my husband will come and get it...was told OK. Well.....after 3 more of the call me back in 30 min calls and a circus act performed by my husband (its a good thing he loves me) he was finally able to go pick up the letter. He got there and recieved a letter with no file. The letter stated that I had lost 50lbs from my original 350lbs....what tha.....Of coarse he was like "I don't think she was ever this heavy" and "where is the copies of the file".....the girl said "I can't find the chart"and "That letter is what she needs, trust me". "Oh and call me back I'm gonna look for the chart."
He called back and was told that she was on the phone and she would call us back......I called her back 1 hour later............needless to say I was a little angry and she was lost for words.
After all of that we made it the surgery consult a tad late, but the office was full and running a bit behind schedule. I met with Dr. Davis and he said that he would perform sugery on me as I was a good candidate. I met with bariatric coordinator and I must say that we were on the same page this time. I rec'd a list of the thing that I needed to get her in order to sumitt to the insurance. Of course it is the items that my MD owes me....lol So I have an appointment on 1/15 (it was the earlist availbe probably due to my behavior with the receptionist) with my MD for another face to face in an attempt to get what I need so we can submit. I suppose that all the hassle is what had my B/P at 122/92.
