April W.

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I just received a call --- my date is December 20th at 7:30 AM

I found out on Friday, 11/2 that my insurance was approved.  It only took about 1 week once it was received.  I am now just waiting on the surgery date.  I would like to shoot for December 20th so I can hopefully have some recovery time over Christmas and be back to work immediately following the new year.

Yesterday was my visit to the surgeon and nutritionist.  Both went very well.  I was told that insurance should be submitted by the end of this week or the beginning of next week.  She said that sometimes they hear back in a couple of days and sometimes it's around 2 weeks.  Either way, I am closer.  

After speaking with the nutritionist yesterday, we set some goals that I should start working on immediately. I need to be focused and committed to show myself that I can do this.  This should be my first challenge and hurdle.  I think everything is going to be great.

I guess we are at the wait and see moment for insurance.  I hope all goes well.

Today is the day of my psych appointment.  I'm pretty nervous about it because I have a lot I want to talk about.  I have two girls, one is 7 yrs old and the other is 9 months old. I want to be around for my girls and I know my weight is only hurting me, but then I battle with the fact that my girls are so young and this is a very serious surgery.  Is it selfish to have this surgery when I know that it's possible I COULD have complications and not survive?  Then I have two girls without a mother and I can't be there for them or with them.  

I know the chances of death as a complication is not great, but it is in the back of my mind every night when I lay down to sleep.  I hope that there is some guidance that she can provide me with.  

Also I think my next biggest issues is what happens 30 years from now when I'm in my 60s and we hear about why people should have never had this surgery done because findings and case studies have shown....  I'm just concerned because it hasn't been around long enough to know long term if something horrible is going to happen to your body.

I know I'm so over thinking everything.  Hopefully today's appointment will help me with all these crazy thoughts.