Well Im about 38 hours away from surgery, boy what an emotional last fews days its been, I thought I was so mentally tough and this aspect wouldnt be a problem for me. I have so many nasty health issues, everything you can think of Ive got, sleep apnea, diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, kidney disorder, improper liver function, diabetic neuropathy, the list just goes on and on, and when I was 21 years old (30 now)I was told that I had a life expectancy that wouldnt last more than 24months, that was 9 years ago, so Mr. Grim Reeper can kiss my ass. I thought facing all the problems I had and defeating the odds would have me mentally prepared for this. But I feel Ive cheated death for several years now and I hate giving him another shot at me. But with successful surgery I believe I can possibly live long enough to recieve senior citizen discounts. My health issues have cost me a ton. I lost my financial aid at school due to health issues and hospitalizations that cost me too much time away from school and failing grades every here and there when my health issues would get bad. I so desperately want to get back to school , this was to be my first year of law school and I will lose credit once again to my health, my first year of law school was very expensive and now I owe back money to the government before I can ever get any federal aid again. I dont know if I'll ever get another chance but I realize living is more important. If your reading this prior to August 26, 2005 then I would like to ask that you pray for me to have a safe and fast recovery. If your reading this after that, I hope your not reading the memorial page right now lol. When/if I make it home I'll post more. Thanks for taking the time to read my post.