Pammi G

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Well I am 6 weeks out from the surgery.  I think I look deformed, but its gone. I can see the difference but I really don't feel like myself. I think my panny was my friend. I miss that part of my body.  The doctor did a good job. I will update him on my profile later.

This is going to be short.  Since the removal I'm down about 5 pounds or so to about 179 to 181 or so.  Just started back exercising regular.   I am not really writing a good report on this surgery. I will have to come back later when I have time to write.  I am rushing this morning.

5 years out.  I'm happy I had surgery.  My life has change in all ways, some good, some bad but it has changed.

I choose Peace today.   Pam

Hi, 

At home recovering from panny (can't spell it) surgery.   It's painful but I believe in the end worth it.  I not to the point where I can say I'm glad I had it yet.

My weight still the same.  I like being 183 to 185.  I look smaller but with the surgery I know my shape will change again.

My friends and co workers always remark, I wear clothes too big for me.  I still have the "big girl" mentality and I don't know if that will ever leave me.

I am enjoying life.  The divorce is still proceeding and I am grieving the loss of that part of my life.  I keep trying to think over and over what I could have done better or more right.  I am moving forward.

Still working 2 jobs, on leave from both right now.   But during this surgery, I have learned how many people's lives I have touched.   I have gotten so many phone calls and visits from friends, coworkers, former coworkers, family and neighbors just so many people that I thought I would be very insignificant to.  It shows me how much the Lord has blessed me.  Blessed me more than my hands can possible hold.

Working on getting well.  I have to get back to work!

Pam

Well back on the dating circuit. Having fun. I didn't realize, I was desirable. I didn't realize others would think I was pretty. I am very amazed.  More amazing there are men my age that are looking for a woman MY AGE? Or men older than me looking for women MY AGE.  Most of my friends say I don't look my age so hurray for that, I think.

Divorce is the pits. I am broke and still working two jobs. My ex and I are not mean to each other but we don't have the closeness anymore that was there sometimes and I miss it.

Back to WLS.  I am steady at 183 to 185 was up to 190 for awhile there but it doesn't seem to matter.  I exercise so much now I fit into 14 really good, almost too good.   But I have shaped up really really.  I'm not sure I like 14, I think I like 16 better. I just felt more me.  With this panny surgery what will me be after that?  I feel small enough (if that is possible).

I have been jogging. I think that is was to blame for my physical changes.

I still believe in the sun even when its not shining and in the book of life the answers are NOT in the back.

Pam

May and another month almost done. These last  2 months have been upheaval for  me.  My husband of almost 24 years  has decided he doesn't want to be married to me anymore.  How hurtful. Now he has his reasons and I don't want to make him look like the bad guy but it still hurts. It seems like we should be able to work this out like we have some many times in our relationship.  This  time he doesn't want to work it out.

I never have been one to be married because I want to say "I married" but I am afraid of being alone with no companion at this advanced age of my life.  My children are grown and now I have really no one to depend on me but myself and it feels lonely. 

We  have had some many problems in our marriage. He really was not very supportive of WLS. He didn't like the results in my body shape. But he was proud of me of doing it and going for what I wanted.  I should feel liberated because some of his complaints about the marriage mirrored some of mine. But I don't I feel unwanted and sad.

ONWARD.

I been approved for the panny. Surgery tentative July 19 but I would like to move to the1st week of August. This job now has not short term disability so I have to get my finances in order to be off work for 2 to 3 weeks.

Believe in  the sun, even when it;s not shining.

Plastic Surgery.  I need help.  I don"t want anymore surgery but because the problem is so bad I have to get it done.
Panniculectomy.  You know the " Apron".  Well anyway... it has been approved but they didn't approve the Rhytidectomy Hip 2 times(2) because they consider that a Thigh lift and considered cosmetic.  But how will this 1st part look with out the 2nd part?  I want  to appeal the decision.  If I'm going to it done, might as well be right.

I can't believe I haven"t written  since January!  My personal life is going down the tubes.  My weight loss is still the same. Still 183 to 185  sometime lower, some times higher.   Stable.  Eating stable. Exercise trying to ramp it up.  I really want to start jogging but afraid of the impact on my knees.  Bad knees in older age run in my family.  My knees were already hurting when I was 360 pounds.  But I'm bored with my exercise routine.  I would join a gym but really have not time to go.  I'm stll working two jobs.  I really don't want the extra expense of a gym membership either.

Looking on OH for help with this appeal letter... what can I invoke to change the determination?

Can't get into personal life right now because I'm standing in the need of prayer. I'm letting the Lord handle it and trying to keep my two cents out.

Believe in the sun... even when its not shining. 

Pam

OH MY GOODNESS.....  why is the person who just thought she was fine as she was after weight loss is looking into plastic surgery?  I can't believe I've become so vain!   I am planning on getting a pant...pantel...well you know the lower stomach apron removed. The part that is "dunlapped" into the pubic area.  I really don't want to do it but it has become a problem.   I now understand others that want to go through the plastic surgery after the large weight loss at first I was not so understanding but you work so hard to maintain weight, exercise, take protein, vitamins and everything until you are sick of it and your body looks like a truck ran over it again and again.   That is really  not the reason I'm having it ... its like my lower stomach area has because like a tumor or something... it just hangs there, causing  health and skin problems, serves no purpose.  I'm ready for it to be gone.

Got a birthday coming up on March. This will be a good birthday present for myself.

Still exercising, eating right, drinking my water, taking vitamins.   Weight still at the same between 180 to 187, depending on phases of the moon.  I have to say I feel so much younger and healthier than 10 years ago.  My weight never stopped me from doing what I wanted to do in life but now I see from hindsight I could have done so much more if I had the energy and mind set I do now.

After all these years, I would not change having the surgery.  I'm glad I did it.

Believe in the sun even when it's not shining!

Pam

Good morning,

 A few more days to Christmas.    Merry Christmas.  I don't have little kids anymore both my children are grown people.

I don't plan to do too much.

My goal for next  year are to  make more friends.   I have friends but sometimes I believe that want to go in the wrong direction.   I need friends that want to go in the right direction.   My friends need to be more diverse and interesting.  Now I do have friends all race and nationalities but I feel like I need more friends in my like to broaden my horizons for the future. It's not good to be stagnant.

My other goal to concentrate on my college degree...getting it complete.  I can do it in a year if I work really, really diligently.

Good morning,

I'm up this morning to exercise and listen to Joyce Meyers on the Internet.  I decided to check my messages on OH. Something is calling me to pay attention to my friends and blog on OH more. 

I have a appointment with a plastic surgeon in January 2010. I'm a little nervous but I will put it in God's hands. In Jesus name.  If it is to be it will be.

I got my results back from my annual.  I'm as health as a horse. However healthy a horse can be.  All my insides and blood work are good.  I'm not even anemic anymore.  It's great. All the hard work has bad off. All the vitamins, B12, eating right, taking flax seed, hair, skin and nails vits all that is paying off. It was great news.

Something about losing weight and trying to keep fit, my friends or my best friend has changed.  She had the lap band but I notice has started gaining weight back and as that is happening becoming meaner to me.  Why? Her sister is telling me jealousy but I known this person 20 years why would they have any reason to be jealous?  I will pray on that.

Today will be a great day.  I will practice trust today.

What a glorious day.

I am still on the losing side.  Went to the doctor on Saturday and weight is very stable. Had lost 2 pounds.

Still hovering in the 182 to 185 range.  Sometimes I go as low as 178 or as  high as 187 or so. But stil stay in the range.

I wear size 16 clothes but they are too big.  Everyone says "Those clothes are too big for you." And they are right. I just like the comfort. If i weight 14 they fit just right.  But I like the loose feel.

Looking into doing something I never thought I would and the is plastic surgery for my stomach.  In the last year it appears the flesh hanging down has been pulling my sides causing more stretch marks, sores and redness. It has been 5 years since my surgery so I keep thinking what is this going to be like in 10 years.  I can only pray the insurance will pay for it since I have a substained weight loss.

Still working 2 jobs.   Still have a husband and 2 children but the children are grown people now.

Living life. Thanking God and enjoying blessings.

October 2, 2009

Boy do I need to update. 

What is going on in my world? I am 4 years out.  I am still holding steady at 183 to 185.  I discovered things about myself, good things and bad things.

WLS after 4 years, the appetite has returned. The cravings have returned. I have to work to stay at my weight that I like which is 183.  My husband doesn't like that weight but that is another paragraph. I eat right and exercise.  But just like all people I don't eat right EVERY  day or exercise like I should EVERY day.   But I do have a schedule and try to stick to it  without beating myself up.

I still drink my water everyday.  The importance of water is something I can't stress enough. Being hydrated just makes you feel better and look better. Water helps the body inside and the skin outside.  Water helps  during workouts, because being hydrated helps me to work out longer.

I try to exercise everyday, even if for only 10 minutes.  I try to break a sweat everyday.  I eat 3 meals or more with snacks. I try to eat balanced and what is healthy and good but I don't deny myself that cookie or taste of something sweet when it's available.  I found by not trying to limit myself I'm much happier with my diet.  I am also not trying to maintain an impossible weight like 135 or something so I can eat and enjoy.  

I like how I look.  I like my weight.  My husband would like me to gain about 10 more pounds.  Again if anyone has read my long story from the beginning they will see I was never unhappy with myself. I have always felt good about myself at any weight but now I am so much more healthier. My knees feel good. 

I have been doing yoga and Pilate's for years now and I can give testimony to both practices. My joints and limbs are really flexible and I even seem taller!

OH has help me so much during this journey.  I'm going to make a point to start writing more often. 

I am  Still working 2 jobs. Have started college online to finish my degree.  Husband still working out of town.  2 grown children during well.  God has blessed this girl more than my hands can hold.

"In the book of Life, the answers are not in the back!" Charlie Brown

Pam