How do you deal with other peoples judgements?

I know this may seem like a very immature question, but it is something that bothers me. People who have not had the surgery and do not understand the surgery have made comments like "oh you took the easy way out". While that is a very simple statement that may not bother some, it does bother me. I do not feel this was an easy way out at all. It has been a long and stressful road.

Has anyone else had other people judge them for their decisions, and if yes, how do you deal with it or respond to their comments?

I ignore them, or tell them to either "support me and my decision or move on". People that can't accept my decisions and respect me and support me are not worth my time. I didn't lose any friends in the process, and anyone who I said "support me or move on" to ended up supporting me. Good luck!

I would say people are going to say what they are going to say and there is not much you can do about it.  They are uneducated about it as a whole.  If it is someone you care about, teach them.  If they still are a negative influence in your life, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate those you choose to allow in your life. :)

 

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."

Sometimes the more you say, the more you give someone to argue about. I love the premise of "support me or move on" as it shifts the conversation to THEIR behavior, not yours.

I have a peppery personality so I have no trouble telling people to pound sand. However, I've told everyone and no one has had the gall to say anything negative to me.

I did find out after surgery that my stepdad tried to get DH to talk me out of it, and I did address his sneaky little tactics with him (stepdad). But he is one person in hundreds.

Has anyone said anything negative to you, or are you worried that they will and you are trying to be prepared? I've found that most people are happy for you if you are. Be matter of fact, not defensive, and if they cannot at the very least keep their opinions to themselves then avoid them. Let their negativity roll off you like water off a duck's back. You are doing this for you, so don't worry what they think.

 

I haven't experienced much of that, but I just let them have their opinion.  I don't care if they think I took the easy way out.  I don't see why it would be better to do it the hard way, whatever that means.

Who cares what they think. Will they be there to wipe the drool off your chin if you stayed obese and had a stroke? I doubt it. Do what you need to do for your health, and screw what anyone else thinks about it.

Kat

Maybe this is an age thing (or maybe I'm just an old *****) but I really think that you invite how people treat you ...  

I can't think of ANYONE who would question any of my life decisions and certainly not to my face.   I'm a strong, intelligent woman who doesn't generally make rash decisions.    I research and educate myself about all my options before making my choices.

I am 8.5 years out and have NEVER heard one negative thing about my surgery, my choice, my weightloss - NOTHING!!!   Why would they?   I certainly wouldn't ask their opinion or invite their comments.   Negative people have no place in my life to be honest so they can either be positive or hit the road ...

Instead of trying to work on other people or changing attitudes - do the one thing you CAN do - work on yourself!   Therapy is wonderful if you are someone who lacks confidence in your abilties, or who suffers from low self esteem.

I am fabulous and awesome and just anyone try and tell me otherwise - I'll laugh in their face !!!    Much easier to live life like this than worrying about what people think about you!   I also think that this attitude helps you appreciate other people too - I tend to look for, and find, people who are awesome too - and have no problems skating over negative nellys!

add me to the old ***** club. i'm a "live and let live" kind of person. i have no interest in others' opinion of me or my life decisions.   nor do i think it my place to stand in judgment of others. it took me a while to get to this place but i sure do like it here!

I dont keep my surgery a secret nor do I go around talking about it. WLS doesnt define me as a person so it really just never comes up anymore. Im living now. No one has ever really said that to me but one person and since I couldnt give a flying Duck what they thought it didnt bother me a bit. My answer to them was simple I could still be yoyo dieting and be 350-400 pounds or I can be where Im at healthy and able to exercise, move, do pretty much anything I like....umm so exactly why is the "easy" way bad again? Must say that pretty much shuts them the F up.