Unsupportive Spouse or Family?

Is anyone dealing with this and if so, how are you coping?


ETA:  I am just finishing up my pre-op requirements, so I haven't even been approved yet.

Unsupportive in what way? Are they ill-informed or actively malicious?

A variety, I suppose:


"This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.  Where do you get these ideas?  Have you tried eating less?"

"Have you tried Weigh****chers - you can't just stop after a year - it's a lifestyle change!"

"You should do Atkins - it's the only thing that worked for me."

 Yup, my husband gives no support.  All the weight I've lost to date all I continue to hear is that I still look fat and now I have ugly skin.  Sigh, it's not easy, so I try to be nice to myself and seek validation from others like friends, this forum, wherever.  He has refused to participate with healthy eating and exercise, and I find that way harder to deal with than the comments because it sometimes leads me astray. I guess all I can offer you is to keep you focus, if you did this for your health then keep telling yourself you are worth it and be your best friend. And really, did they support you when you were not taking care of yourself?  If not, then I guess we can't expect them to change. Sometimes I think families or spouses are so threatened by all the changes we go through they react in ways like being unsupportive or just plain mean, maybe it's their coping method.  I don't know, I'm hoping those far wiser than I will respond to your post, I'm looking forward to their replies.

 Wow, that is super harsh and uncalled for. And you're still with him?

Your husband sounds like a real gem.  You sound far to positive and motivated to be married to someone like that.  Maybe he should come around to reality or you may be a good canidate for the title of Ex!

 You are sweet, thanks,

 i wouldnt be able to deal with a man like that. I dont know what you look like and personally i DONT NEED TO, to see your a beautiful person. im sorry you put up with him :/ and im sure i dont know the full situation either :P but i know this. At this point in my life if my husband didnt support me? he would be out the door. grrr. 

lots of love :) 

Ahh, the sanctity of marriage.  I have no idea why you'd stay with someone who is verbally abusive toward you.

I am currently going through my fiance's family not supporting me and they treat and accept me like I was born into the family(b4 I told them)!! But I told them that I'm getting WLS and they think that I'm taking the easy way out!! I explained everything to them that every diet I ever been on failed miserably!! And that I'm doing this to be healthier and not for looks they still treat me like I was born into the family but I do have an aunt on my side of the family that will not support my decision no matter what!! And she tried to talk me out of it she will not talk to me anymore if I go through with the WLS!! So she gave me her opinion and said what she had to say and I just said "thank you for your concern and opinion but I'm doing this for me no matter what you or anyone else says!! But I love you and I'll talk to you later!!" You don't need any1 that will not be supportive of you putting you down all the time!! I'm here for you....we are all here for you!! You have to do this for you and no1 else should afftect your decision!! Things will get better!! Just hang in there!!
If you EVER need any1 to talk to just hit me up!!

Sending positive vibes your way and I will pray 4 you!!