Question:
How soon can you have intercourse after surgery?
What is the normal wait time for a person to become intimate with their spouse is it the standard one month or does it vary, please let me know i would like to hear from those who waited and those who did not? — selena H. (posted on August 5, 2001)
August 5, 2001
I couldn't wait either... we waited 2 weeks... good luck jill open rny
— Jill M.
August 5, 2001
First, let me say I'm preop, haven't had surgery yet. But this question
came up in a support group and a lot of people gave their experience. It
makes a difference if you are having the surgery open? Or laparascopically?
If you can get your stud-muffin to hold his horses and be gentle, you
could probably do the nasty after a couple of weeks. I think I'd be sure
to tell your partner ahead of time that a lot of friction on your stitches
is not such a good idea, nor is having your tender innards jounced around a
lot. Your best guide is to go by how you feel. If you are still real sore,
tired, weak, you aren't going to be in the mood anyway. If you do feel up
to it, I will tell you what worked for me after I had (a different kind of)
surgery, in a way that isn't indelicate, if possible. After about an hour
or so of cuddling, reassurance and foreplay, be on your back, turned 90
degrees from your partner who is on his side, facing toward you. Drape
your legs over his hip/waist area and scoot in toward him. This will put
everything in the proximity it should be, without putting pressure on your
abdomen or rubbing your stitches. (I can't believe that I'm blushing now.)
This worked for me, and my husband certainly had no complaints....
— [Anonymous]
August 5, 2001
Try having your hubby sit in a recliner, drap your legs over the arms of
the chair and lower yourself on top of him. Let the rocking of the chair
guide you. That worked for us. ( It was great,too) My doctor said that as
soon as I was up to it I could, even if it was the day that I went home.
Hope this helps.
— Heather C.
August 5, 2001
We only waited a couple of days after I got home. NO WAY was I waiting six
weeks....you can only give up so many things at one time!! ;-) I had a lap
RNY and had no problems. My doc recommended six weeks...easy to recommend.
Easier to disregard. I did follow the diet and other instructions. Best of
luck to you.
— Diane B.
August 5, 2001
I had an open rny and my husband and I waited a week after I was home. We
took it very slow. I did get hot once and had to stop for water LOL. Any
way we basically did the same as the other poster in a chase lounge. Good
Luck. Do what feels best to you.
— Robin C.
August 5, 2001
Just make sure ALL weight is OFF your stomach no matter if the surgery is
open or lap. I could'nt even stand my cats on my stomach for around 6
weeks! If something hurts in the slightest, change postitions or quit! Pain
will let you know what is ok and what is'nt. ;) Good luck.
— [Anonymous]
August 5, 2001
I remember those dreaded 6 weeks after having given birth to our son and
was absolutely not allowed to have any physical contact before seeing my
doctor cause of stiches and repair work that was done! That seemed
forever! Especially since I had lost a lot of weight, and this great
looking set of huge breasts that were more sensitive than any other time in
my life! What my hubby and I did was to take it very slow and get really
creative about satisfying each others needs. Remember that orgasams &
satisfaction can happen without intercourse---think about how to achieve
that without a partner, then bring some new fun to the bedroom with your
partner! My son is now 10+, (got to remember those few months post
birthday with 10 year old boys), and we still have times when we enjoy
"post baby birth" sex games without intercourse!
— [Anonymous]
October 18, 2002
Easy for all you women to answer what about us guys that have to do alot of
work during sex? how do we do it with out pain?
— dave B.
October 18, 2002
I don't want to sound negative, but I had to respond to this post. First
of all, your surgeon is not telling you to wait *x* amount of weeks to be
mean.....this instruction is just as important as any other instruction
they give you, whether it be dietary, exercise, vitamins, etc. There's a
reason for this, and you risk damaging fragile stitching that is done
inside of you to your stomach, intestines, abdomen, lining, and skin.....it
doesn't matter how good you think you feel, you still just had MAJOR
surgery! It's not the end of the world....you aren't going to die or fade
away to nothing if you wait to have sex the time frame instructed by your
surgeon! I had open RNY and would never have contemplated having sex 1-2
weeks after surgery....it's a risk that I was NOT willing to take on my
life! I think that some people really don't realize how serious it could
be this soon post-op. Besides, there are other things that couples can do
for sexual gratification other than traditional sexual intercourse. Just
be safe and think with your head and not another body part! Sorry if this
sounds harsh, but the question was asked and I felt I owed a honest answer
to whomever reads this.
— Lynette B.
October 18, 2002
Please be very careful attempting sex for at least the first couple of
months. When I was 5 weeks post-op from Open RNY, my husband (now
ex-husband) accidently put his weight down on my tummy and ripped my
internal stitches causing an incisional hernia. He isn't overweight at
all, his weight was just more than my tummy could take. In the heat of the
moment, we sometimes lose our senses and forget to be gentle. My advice is
have fun, follow the doctor's orders, and be very careful.
— Lori B.
Click Here to Return