Question:
How do you tell people you lost the weight?
I have heard a lot about how people respond before the surgery but I was just wondering how people handle the situation of telling people (acquaintances) how they lost the weight. When you see people and they say "Ohe, you've lost weight, HOW did you do it?" I don't think I'll feel like explaining to everyone that I had WLS (and hearing their - at times - negative comments) but I would feel guilty if I acted like I just lost it on my own. I don't this doesn't seem like a huge problem in the whole scheme of things - I was just curious how people handled this. I am not ashamed or embarassed to have WLS - so no mean comments about that please - I just don't care to explain to everyone I see. — Ronda B. (posted on August 16, 2000)
August 16, 2000
Ronda, I just tell people I have been following a modified
Adkins diet (only low fat), watching my portion size,
and exercising- which is all true! If they are really interested
in doing it for themselves and they are obese- I tell them
the full story- and 2 people I have met had surgery and
are loving their new lives! Good Luck!
— M B.
August 16, 2000
Ronda, I understand your concerns but I'm with Barb on this one! I firmly
believe that the more people that know about WLS and the benefits the
better. I dream of a day in the not too distant future when insurance
denials are a thing of the past. If we do our part to share the wonderful
changes in our health and in our lives we can lead by example and show the
insurance companies that it is better to pay a little now than a whole lot
more later! I'll step down from my soapbox now. :-) Good luck with
whatever you decide!
— Roseann M.
August 16, 2000
I understand your feelings completely. I am 3 months post-op and have lost
65 pounds. I started at 298. Although I started noticing a difference as
soon as I went home from the hospital (in my face), I have learned that it
takes most people a while to REALLY notice. While 65 pounds is a lot, and
I am very pleased, the fact is that I am still a big person. It has only
been in the last week or so that I have had people coming up to me to
remark about my weight loss. I have chosen rather carefully who I have
told about my surgery, and I did so because I didn't want to deal with
anyone's negativity. Therefore I am finding that the people who comment to
me about my weight loss are doings so very positively and in a very
supportive manner. I really haven't had comments from others, like my
co-workers. I think a few of them may suspect, but they have respected my
privacy enough not to ask. They know I had surgery but not what type. My
advice is to take it slow when telling people. This protects you from
unwanted negative comments. Start off with those whom you really trust.
As you move through the process, you will find your own comfort level with
what to tell people. Best of luck to you.
— Paula G.
August 16, 2000
I'm with the gang. If you stand next to me for more than 30 seconds, you
know about my surgery. I had my surgery 10/94 and lost 150 lbs. I got a
new driver's license in 1996. Here I was telilng the truth for the first
time (115, when I was really 110 standing there) and they put 150!!!! I
had the license remade! Anyway, it is time to renew again and I went in
yesterday. The guy is confirming everything, and says, "weight still
one hundred twenty.... I MEAN, 115?" I pointed out that it was a good
thing I couldn't reach his throat. Of course, he's thinking you don't make
that mistake with women. But it's a reallllly bad mistake with THIS woman!
So, I said that after losing 150 lbs, the weight WAS important and yes, it
was accurate, give or take a lb. He just said, "Did you have surgery?
I'd like to but I'm scared." I asked if he was scared of 2 weeks of
discomfort or life style changes, and he immeidately answered life style
changes. Shows he's already given it a LOT of thought. Unfortunately,
I've been in there a lot recently, taking my dad in, my husband swtiched
the tags on two vehicles, buying a car, selling a car, ete. ANYWAY, I asked
if he ever saw me in there not eating? It's a big station, so you take a
number and wait. I usually bring lunch and something to read. The point
being, that this discussion of surgery wasn't about me, it was about him
and his fears. And the whole thing took place in the time it took for him
to print me up and me to write my check. Evangelism is for some of us and
it's not for others. You'll find your niche comforably in time.
— vitalady
August 16, 2000
Dear Ronda,
I feel like you do and have only told my husband and one friend and don't
plan on telling. For me it is a private thing and I am a private person.
I plan to tell people that I changed my life style / or decided to be
healthy now... something very simple that won't allow to much response.
I'm much more open with strangers... lol... particularly if they were obese
and had a "need to know" and specifically asked or I got bumpped
into a converstaion... I would tell all if I thought it would be helpful.
Then again, I probably would never see those people again.
I think I would not mind telling people if they would ask me questions
like, "Is your acid reflux gone?" "How is your heart doing
now?" Questions about my health... but, they focus on the weight loss
and that isn't my focus so... for me... I want to keep my focus on my
health and not answer a lot of "surgical" kind of weight
questions.
Maybe I'll change my mind once I am sure that my own mind is firmly in
place about what my goals are and my habits are comfortable. I doubt it
though.
— blank first name B.
August 16, 2000
This is how confident I am about this choice. I am 4 weeks pre-op and I'm
so sure that this is going to change my life forever, that I'm sure I'm
going to be an advocate for WLS once I start losing. I have a bmi of 70
and over 200 lbs to lose, but when the first person notices my weight loss
I'm going to be singing from the highest hill about WLS and what it means
to Morbidly obese people. I repspect your need for privacy and support any
method you choose to deal with the questions. I just know if can help just
one more obese person find their way to the other side I will be happy.
Now of course, I'm doing this preaching and haven't reached the other side
yet myself. So I'm praying this is all God's will, because it certainly is
my plan.
— Wendy W.
August 16, 2000
Ronda, I think you will find that after you have the surgery you won't
worry as much about the negative comments people make. After all.... it's
said and done, and they can't make you change your mind once you are
post-op. When I was about 3 mo. post-op, my neighbor {right across the
street} said I was looking so good, and wanted to know how I had been
losing the weight. For some reason, I just came right out and told her. She
said "Oh really, I had that surgery 11 yrs ago, and my husband had it
done last year!" I could have died! I knew her husband had been losing
weight, but he had been through a lot of stress, and I just thought it was
from that. I would have given anything to have had their support during
those agonizing pre-op days. I vowed right then and there that I would tell
anyone that asked, how I lost the weight. We never know what kind of
support we can be to others. Since my surgery
(7 mo. ago} 2 of my friends have had it done, and a couple are waiting ins.
approval. Good luck!
— Dani J.
August 16, 2000
I don't know about anyone but me, but I have already told everyone who
knows me and even some who don't. I have surgery on Friday and I had to
fight a long insurance battle for that to happen. I also have heard some
negative comments but I believe that part of that is because WLS is looked
at as "shameful" or the "easy way out", so people who
have a positive experience are afraid to tell people and the only ones you
hear about are the people with bad experiences (except at obesityHelp.com).
Like I said I made the decision to tell everyone. I decided that for two
reasons. 1st because I need support before during and after surgery, and
the more people who know the more people who will support me. 2nd because
I think that the more the public hears good things about this surgery the
more it is accepted. Just a thought.
— Jeannette S.
August 16, 2000
I tell people I have lost 150 poounds. When they asked me how I did it I
tell them I had weight loss surgery. If they ask me about the surgery, I
tell them. I feel they might be curious about the surgery for a loved one
or themselves. I tell them it is not a cure all. It is a tool that helps
me loose weight. I also tell them it is not "a easy way out".
Deciding to have surgery is a drastic decision. if they wish to know more
about it, I give them my name and phone number. If and when they call me I
give them other means of information, this site on the internet. My
doctors name and phone number.
Hope this helps.
Avis Gandy
— Avis G.
August 16, 2000
It is a personal matter and I have treated it as such. When people ask how
I lost weight
I tell them that I excercise and watch what I eat. I do not
lie, I just don't/won'y tell them everything. The only ones I have told
were my boss, wife and kids prior to surgery. I had enough to worry about
without
people putting their two cents in. I have told more people
in recent months and that's only if I want.
— Mark B.
July 25, 2001
I am only 2 months post-op and have lost 51 pds. I did not tell anyone
outside of my boyfriend and my parents about my surgery. When I took off
of work I told everyone that I was having my gallbladder taken out (which
is true). When I came back to work I told everyone that I was on a
restricted diet from my Dr for a couple of months, but that I would always
have a hard time eating fried or fatty foods. I even joked that it was a
great way to start a diet and that I planned to continue eating healthy
even after some of my restrictions were gone. Hope that helps.
— [Anonymous]
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