Question:
Has anyone had a divorce as a result of WLS?

I was reading a ladies profile and I saw that her husband divorced her after she lost all of her weight. She stated that she was getting a lot of attention from other men and her husband got jealous. She says that he said that it was too much pressure. Has this ever happened to anyone else?    — Deborah B. (posted on April 9, 2003)

April 9, 2003
From what I understand, it happens very often. For many different reasons, the changes that people go through during the journey is too much of a strain on unstable marriages. So if you have a rocky relationship now it will probably bring out the worst, but if you have a caring and supportive marriage it will most likely get even better. Good Luck!
   — Sylvia E.

April 9, 2003
I wasn't married but I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He dumped me 6 weeks after my surgery to be with his X-wife, who is overweight. I don't know why, but he decided to be with her. Our relationship was rocky to begin with.
   — enjo4

April 9, 2003
During my consult, it was told to me that strong relationships (this includes friendships, love, family) will get stronger and weak ones will break. It's important to be fully communicative with your SO and while his feelings against it shouldn't mean for you to put your new life on hold, just be aware of what could happen. It's much more about changing your life for the better and not related to the surgery itself. My sister lost 85 pounds without surgery and her marriage broke up recently. I've lost 90 pounds and my 14 year marriage is stronger. I'm happier and we do more things instead of staying in out of embarrassment. Good luck to you.
   — Yolanda J.

January 17, 2005
I am sorry to say, after losing 155 lbs, my marriage of almost 13 years didn't survive. My husband had always had a problem with his anger, and that anger manifested itself as being over-posessive, obsessive, jealous and always wanting to know exactly where I was going, who I was going with, when I would be back and what I would be doing etc. When I would get home, there would be a more extensive interrogation to face. So I just quit going anywhere unless he was with me. We had talked about his problem many, many times over the last 16 years to no avail. But anyway,I eventually developed agoraphobia from being isolated from people and places for so long. After losing all the weight his anger only got worse, I couldn't even go to the other room or get up to go to the bathroom without him asking what are you doing, where are you going..etc.. So at almost 2 years post-op I decided to quit hoping he would change, and left. I had talked to him over a year prior to surgery and told him I would need more affection and more physical contact, and that I would have changes after surgery and needed his support. But as time past the affection only decreased then diminished altoghether, unless I went to him and asked for it. I guess I would recommend some very intense and lengthy counseling with and without your partner. There will be changes in the way you look at yourself, the way you look at your partner and your outlook on life as well. I want to do so many things now, before I was content to just exist, now I want to actually live life and be happy. Best Wishes!!
   — Ilene G.

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