Question:
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH UNSUPPORTIVE HUBAND????

MY MARRIAGE WAS OK BUT NOT GREAT BEFORE SURGERY, DURING MY RECOVERY PERIOD OF SURGERY 4 AND HALF MONTHS AGO HE WAS A BUTTHEAD AND HAS BEEN FOR SOMETIME, IT ALL OF SUDDEN HIT HIM I LOOK BETTER, IM DOWN 80LBS SIZE 12 NOW AND HE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME AND BEING NICE, I DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE IT IM ANGRY BECAUSE FAT WAS BETWEEN US AND THATS STUPID AND SHALLOW, BUT I DONT WANT MY MARRIAGE TO FAIL AND FEEL LIKE AFTER 13 YRS IM FINALLY GETTING THE ATTENTION IVE ALWAYS WANTED FROM HIM. IVE CONFRONTED HIM ABOUT THIS AND HE DENIS THAT HE HAS CHANGED AND TREATS ME THE SAME AS ALWAYS. HAS ANYONE EVER HAD THIS PROBLEM AND WHAT HAPPENED LONG TERM. I DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT. THANKS AHEAD OF TIME ANGIE MATHEWS    — ANGIE M. (posted on September 26, 2002)

September 26, 2002
Angie, I think you need to rethink your martial situation. You said yourself he is a butthead. You said you've waited 13 years for the attention you wanted and needed from this man. For God's sake, why? Your wants and needs should have been met from the beginning otherwise why would any of us even get married? It takes two to make a marriage work. You've done your time, now make him do his!! My hubby and I have been married for 31 years and God knows we've wanted to wring each other's neck from time to time. We've had our ups and downs but have ALWAYS been there for each other when it counted! Be strong girl--he is probably worried about losing you now.
   — LLinderman

September 26, 2002
Oh Angie! I have the same kind of husband! I am having surgery next Friday and I know how he is going to act! I've be married 11.5 years and fat for pretty much all of them. If he becomes the husband I long for like I think he will then I am going to pray and ask God to help me forgive and forget! I do this for my 10 and 6 year old and because I plan to live for me! Happy! Not him. I pray God's best for you and your family.
   — Kristi T.

September 27, 2002
You have the choice of staying with him or leaving. If you leave then make a clean break. If you stay why not try to start from today on? After today is the first day of the rest of your life. We men don't like to admit that we EVER act like asses. Women have the ability to forgive. If you want to succede in your marrige give it a try. Good Lux
   — Robert L.

September 27, 2002
Angie, I'm gonna offer a totally different take on this from the other posters...Maybe your husband has changed. Maybe because he realizes just how far you wnet to get healthy and now sees you as someone different who really cares about herself. I know for me, when I was fat, I hated myself and I've always heard, it's hard to give love to someone else until you learn to love yourself. I think that I learned to love myself when I learned to take better care of myself. My husband was against my surgery and it was a sore spot for us for a long time...not because he didn't want me to lose weight or get healthy, but because he was frightened that he would lose me. He was very angry that I would risk surgery for looks. He now realizes how much pain I was in and that I want to be health so that I can be with him for a long long time. He's overweight, but I don't think he could ever have this surgery. He is a lot healthier though than I was. He works out and isn't suffering from any weight related health issues. We're both incredibly happy that I'm healthy and maybe your husband is just so proud of you for taking control of your well being that he's showing in the way he treats you now. Some men have a really hard time expressing or discussing why they feel or act the way they do. Don't give up on him now...give him the benefit of the fact that maybe it's a positive thing not negative. Forget how he used to be and really look at the relationship as it is now. Is it everything you need it to be? IF so, make the most out it and give him attention in return. This could be the beginning of the most wonderful marriage in the world.
   — Teri D.

Click Here to Return