Question:
Suddenly an emotional mess
I finally got my surgery date this week. August 27th. Now I am falling apart. Can't sleep, binge eating, crying a lot. I did pass my psych eval, maybe the misjudged me. Any one else have these problems? — Joanna J. (posted on July 27, 2007)
July 27, 2007
Joanna,
I went to your profile to see if I could get an idea of what you are like
before leaving an answer to your question. Nothing on your blog but your
interests told me a lot about you. You are a lot like my daughter and she
had RNY the day before I did back in January of this year. She is a
Christain mom who home schools her children. I have a feeling you are too
by what you listed. She had the surgery done so she could keep up with her
four kids and be around to see them grow up. I think you are just facing a
bump in the road and just need a friend who as been there to talk to. Just
try to concentrate on the reasons you started this journey in the first
place. Those reasons will help you to settle down and stop the over eating.
Crying is a great release and lets us empty ourselves of stress. Pick a
time to do it so it does not upset your children too much but get it out.
As for the sleep it is common to have sleep problems with our situation and
as we take off the pounds the sleeping problems resolve. If this is new it
is stress due to finally getting the date. I really doubt they misjudged
you. Hang in there and just concentrate on your goals. If you want you can
put me on your friend list. I will be happy to correspond now and then.
Good Luck and God Bless, Norma
— njkbutton
July 27, 2007
I too have my date for August 30. When the insurance ok came through, I
was stunned, then thought, oh oh, this is reality! And since then, I've
been on a roller coaster. I binge eat and then think, what am I doing? I
want the surgery, I don't, I do, I don't. I had a talk with co-workers
yesterday and was able to verbalize some of my fears. They were all so
encouraging, told me they had a lot of support for me, respect that I'm
going to do this to be healthier. I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to
enjoy the foods I like again (crunchy and chewy) and then think, I have
food issues that I've been dealing with for years and obviously still have
to deal with.
I keep thinking back to when I was a size 24 (several years ago) and how
much better I felt. I could walk better, shop longer, I went out more,
enjoyed life more. Then I wonder if I'm gonna be able to do this. Well,
then I go to the chat boards and read about the success stories.
So, my personal opinion, no, your psych eval didn't misjudge you, your
binge eating (and I have another friend who knows several people that did
this too before their surgery) is probably normal, and the crying is the
stress relief. Think about what you'll be able to do after your surgery,
all the activity you'll be able to do, how much better you'll feel. And
keep talking to people! It does help. Sue Stenzel
— herghost
July 27, 2007
This is an emotional time for your or anyone that is going to have this
surgery. Some of it might be nerves and excitement, the binge eating
probably comes from the fact that once you have the surgery --for about 6
months or so you want be able to have your favorite foods. Some people,
once they find out they've been approved, go on cruises and just have a
grand time (eating) and come back ready to have the surgery. August 27th
is just a few short weeks away and if this is something that you've desired
to do for a long time the crying could be a release that the waiting is
over. Good thing you came on for support. Whatever state you are in there
is a message board for that state -- locate and jump in -- you never know
who you might meet and what you might find out. Stay Positive -- all will
be well.
— the7thdean
July 27, 2007
Hi Joanna, thanks for writing. "Greater is He that is in you, than He
that is in the world" Joanna, if you are a Christian, why are you not
looking to the power in your life? The power in the believers life is the
Word of God. Open your Bible dear, and let God's Word comfort and direct
you. You need to take a good hard look at yourself and the decision you
made. You have almost a month to reconsider or move forward. I prayed a
lot about my surgery and one day I heard God's still small voice comfort me
and say "it will happen". I was so glad for that peace and
comfort. When I say I "heard" the still small voice, please
don't take that as an audible voice, that is not what I am saying:).
Anyway, the peace God gave me that day stayed with me. I still struggled
like you and questioned my decision, but I went back to the scriptures that
gave me comfort and assurance. I went back to the support I had from my
husband and leader of our home. I went back to the key points that God
confirmed my support and guidance and comfort. Then I trusted Him. I
trusted that when I prayed that He answered. I trusted that He would do
what is best for me, and respected the fact that could mean going home to
be with Him through surgery. You have to respect death to appreciate life
in this case. I believe in looking at things in truth, and you give us no
indication if you are doing that or now. You can use this wonderful site
to blog your thoughts and ideas, what you have been through and where you
are going. Don't read it all, but look at my profile. It is loaded with
stuff I would never remember, and yet at the click of a mouse, I have all
my research, all my struggles, and all my answers to those struggles on one
page. You have too much in your head dear, and I really encourage you to
write some of this stuff out, take a hard look at your decision, and read
Ephesians 6:10-20. Put on your Armour, and not only your Armour, but have
your sword drawn (The Word of God). A soldier in the battle with just his
armour on and no sword drawn is still set up for defeat. Be sure you are
"walking in the light" and drawing from the power in the
believers life, the Word of God. I wish you well, look hard, pray and face
the truth, then move forward in truth. You can't lose that way. Take
care. Patricia P.
— Patricia P
July 28, 2007
I think the simple answer is, we all go through an emotional roller
coaster. My date is August 7th, just a little over a week from now. You
have second thoughts, Is this the right thing for me etc.? Have I done
something stupid? I also think you are grieving pre-op for what you think
you won't have. Food is our friend, our comfort, what is it going to be
when we give it up. This is a naturally scary process. BUT the alternative
is much scarier to me. Just remember it is your body and your health. If
you make the decision not to go through with it, let no one judge you.
Whatever your decision, it is yours. Good Luck to you.
— bderuiter
July 28, 2007
Joanna...this is a very important decision to make. As most people who are
overweight, we have food in the past to give us comfort, etc. Ask yourself
if this is really what you want to do. Try to consider what your life is
like now and compare it to what you think it will be after the surgery.
When I first went to the doctor in January 2006, I was sure that I even
wanted to have the surgery, but when my insurance finally approved
everything 8 months later, I knew it was what I needed to do. My surgery
was Nov 2, 2006, and I am down 96 pounds...and feeling great. Take time to
ask God to give you peace about whatever decision you make.
— BrendaMS
July 28, 2007
Joanna, I'm also on an emotional rollercoaster. I can't sleep, I cry, &
I don't eat. My fear is not making it through the surgery. I hold my 9
month old son and just cry. Then I look on the positive side and think
about how healthy I'll be, I'll be around to see my son's grow up, and most
of all I'll be able to get new clothes. My surgery is scheduled for
sometime at the end of August. You are not alone I'm here with you. Good
Luck and God Bless you.
— Kenipela05
July 28, 2007
You sound so much like I was. I'm also a mom and I home school. And I
understand the stress that can entail...
This is how I felt. I'm about to voluntarily check myself into a permanent
rehab center. I have been addicted to food. I needed help. And the
thought that I wouldn't have food to turn to when times where tough was
very emotional and stressful to me. Also.. the risk of surgery.. the fear
of failure.. etc etc. We have all been there. Your about to make a huge
decision... similar to getting married and having children. Your getting
married to your new pouch! And there are commitments involved in that,
that will have to involve MAJOR changes in you and your life.
No wonder your a emotional wreck and your binging and having problems
sleeping! I had the same experiences. Just know that this is worth it!
Keep your eye on the goal and your hands in Jesus' and you will be fine!
I had my surgery April 30th and I was approved just 3 weeks after my
consult! I had no time to really process it. I went to the consult to
just 'test the waters' and before I knew it.. I had a date. I understand
and have been where you are.. just allow yourself to feel and process and
let God love on you and bring you His peace that passes all understanding.
I'm now 3 months out and down 65 lbs!! It is the hardest, best, most
wonderful thing I have ever done for myself. I know you will feel the
same. :)
Praying for you!
-Shakeira
— Hisdove
July 28, 2007
I know exactly how you feel and my surgery is the 13th of August.. I go
back to my counselor on the 31st and it seems to me that its because i am
so used to having this "security blanket" and now i get to
finally get what i have always wanted and thats to be healthy, or at least
on the right track to being healthy and my brain is just trying to fight to
stay the way it was.. :( I want to have a life for once and i'm fighting
tooth and nail and I will win. I want to give my family the mom/wife they
deserve.. most importantly though is I want to be me for once in my life
and that scares the crap out of me.. So what i did was I've been praying a
lot and Im trust God to take care of it. Yes easier said than done i know,
but i have to trust God He would not have given any doctors the knowledge
if it were not to be used to help all of us who are unhealthy. I also read
on someones page one day that if you look at the food you are about to eat
and ask "do i think that will taste as good as skinny will feel?"
and then think about it for a minute.. that has been working for me..
Take care and I sure hope this give you encouragement to keep going, I sure
do know what you mean though.. Im going to keep going.. please keep me
posted if you can and as soon as i can i'll post to let you know how i
did..
Paula A
ps
I went to a support meeting last week and the lady to my right had her
surgery 5 years ago and looked real good and the lady to my left had her
surgery the week before and was sitting there like nothing happened and she
had the RNY like im going to have.. so that also gave me an encouraging
feel to..
— japaad
July 28, 2007
i will be having my surgery on aug 21 and i am excited at first i was
eating healthy trying to get myself perpared but i realized that it will be
awhile before i can eat regular food so i have be enjoying myself. i
believe the surgery will help my stay true to eating properly. u r okay
just enjoy and on the 27th of aug it all comes to an end.
— Earnestine N.
July 28, 2007
Hi.
I know just how you feel. I had rny surgery on Jan 18 2006
and was kinda unsure because everyone i talked to was very negative about
it,,,,,, My mother was not happy at all. And i thought to myself ,ew this
is bad i am going against my mothers advice. But i knew i wanted this done
and i had to go with what i believed in , I ask god everyday to help me on
this wonderful journey and to pray for the negative people ...
I rememeber going into the sugery and they came to talk to me and i broke
down and cried. It was the best thing and time to do it as i had my support
team with me .... I am so glad i did it and i thank god everyday for the
surgeons and the health care people that he has .........put my life into
there hands as well and he is a awesome god..... Your body is gods temple
he wants you to take care of it and he is giving you another chance, ask
for his help and you will find peace....
Good -luck and we will see you on the losing side.
Mchelle Moore
— M. Moore
July 29, 2007
i did not feel what you are feeling but i also have young children,12, 7,
and 3, and they are haviving the time of their life with me,the things i
can do with them now, run, swim,go in their tree house and down their slide
even bike ride makes it all worth it, i feel like i am a kid again, and
they are happy,
sometimes they have to keep up with me lol
— Robert-P
July 30, 2007
Congratulations on your upcoming surgery date :-). Just do everything your
Doc and nut tell you and you will be just fine. Just think of the benefits
of having the surgery verses not having it. Good Luck and I will check in
with you, off and on to see how you are doing :-) Take care Sherri
— Sher N.
July 30, 2007
Feeling anxious about the surgery is normal. After all, it is major
surgery. Try to keep busy and focus on other things. Try making a list
of all the reasons you are having the surgery, and refer to it whenever you
are haing doubts.
— Novashannon
July 30, 2007
Be encourageed. I havent had the surgery yet but i know how you feel. Even
thought most people wont admit it food is an addiction for many obese
people. Its becomes our everything. We think about food all the time. When
we make the desision to have the surgery we are cutting off for many of us
our best friends. The emotional part is letting go of something that we
have had for many of us for a life time. You will be fine. Remember your
support people, your goals, and dreams for yourself. All the stuff your
going through and will go through will be worth it. It's your time to shine
baby
Kay
— bbfly175
Click Here to Return