Question:
Have lost 131 pounds in 11 months....
I went down from a size 22 down to a 2, and now people are saying that I've gone from one extreme to another and I overheard a coworker today say that she worried I might be anorexic, when she sees me eat food everyday. Fat or thin people are still snikering about me and it hurts my feelings. Encouragement please. I have worked really, really hard. — Tania_B. (posted on January 7, 2008)
January 7, 2008
Ahh they did that to me too. the change is so fast and dramatic they fear i
would keep losing and blow away in the wind.........
just ignore it things become less important the longer you are out
— bob-haller
January 7, 2008
Have only one thing to say can you spell JEALOUS! I hope i spelled it
right lol some ppl get jealous because of all the attention we are getting
thru out are weightloss journey so of course they have to find something
negative to say who cares what ppl think as long as you feel good and
your healthy that is all that matters and a big congrats to you!
Lyne
— lyne R.
January 7, 2008
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You are doing awesome! I don't know why people can be
that way but just ignore them. You took steps to make a healthier happier
life for yourself. Ignore all the jealous people and keep up the great
work!
— CYIFLY98
January 7, 2008
Honey, I hear ya. Started at size 26 and now in a size 8 in 10 months.
People who knew me in the day say I am "too thin". I just ignore
them. As long as I am happy and doing well and HEALTHY - it doesn't matter
to me. The day my lab work comes back and tells me something different -
then I will try to do something, but for now - I am enjoying the ride. You
should too. Like you said - you worked so hard!! You deserve your beautiful
new you - you deserve to be thin and happy and healthy. If they have to put
you down to feel better about themselves then they are the ones with the
issues. Congratulations to you my friend!!
— jammerz
January 7, 2008
Hey Tania, tell them "DON'T HATE APPRECIATE". Second, you're not
hear to satisfy them are anyone else, you're here to satisfy yourself. One
thing to remember -- people where talking long before we were born and
they'll be talking long after we're dead and gone. One lady got me in the
bathroom the other day and she wasn't sure I was the same woman. We'd
never spoken before; she thought I was the same woman but she wasn't sure.
I told her I'd had gastric bypass surgery and she said she'd wanted to find
out more because her son was very obese but unfortunately he's only 14
years old and there isn't a surgeon in Maryland that will perform the
procedure on anyone under 18. She is hoping he will get active and lose
some of the weight.
So there are times when I see it as an opportunity to encourage others and
tell them my story and eliminate any fears and myths people have heard.
I'm just beginning to see the person people are seeing so this year will be
a body adjustment review time for me and becoming comfortable with the new
version of me from fat to skinny -- especially my face.
Some of those you work with probably have genuine concern and don't know
how to approach you; others well -- they need to stop hating and
appreciate!
You've done great and I have no idea as to what size I'll be. I've lost a
100 and am to a 14/16
— the7thdean
January 7, 2008
I'm doing my 2 week pre-op right now (liquids only) and I know how hard I
have worked just to get to this point. You've already made it (Yipee for
you!!) so be very proud of yourself. If you feel good about yourself, the
heck with what everyone else thinks. Remember, they are probably upset
that they don't look as good as you do now. Congratulations on your great
success!!
— DeeDiamond
January 7, 2008
This journey was for YOU, not those who gossip.....BUT they are jealous of
what you have found, your happiness. You have done terrific and I can only
hope at the end of my first year I will be half as successful as you have
been. CONGRATS!!!
— smf0926
January 7, 2008
Tania, congratulations on your success. I know how you feel and I haven't
lost but a tiny bit of my total. I haven't always been heavy. When I was
thin, people talked.. even the anorexia comments.. and for me, well it was
an issue. But I've seen both sides of the coin and I know that it doesn't
matter where you are in your program, someone is going to have something to
say. IGNORE them! And, yes, I know it does hurt your feelings but you can
be above it, just smile at them and walk on. You have done THIS, you can
certainly do that. Good Luck, Leslie
— LuvNSummer
January 7, 2008
Congratulations on such a successful weight loss. People are people some
may be jealous, concerned or just uneducated in the WL journey. As long as
you feel you are within a healthy BMI for your height and weight then you
have nothing to worry about. Its ok to feel sad but you can also be very
proud of yourself. Take care...
— mariamahoa
January 7, 2008
OH my thats fantastic what procedure did you have the RNY or the Sleeve or
Band anyway either way that is a fantastic effort and you should be so
proud you have worked so hard and you deserve to be happy, all this is new
to me too I am waiting to have my gastric sleeve done and at the moment am
around the 230lb mark but a couple years ago I went on a healthy diet and
excersise regeme and I lost about 120lb and i looked great nice and toned
and healthy and happy i put alot of hard work into it and after a while I
started hearing back from around the place that people where saying that I
had to have only lost that much weight by taking illegal drugs even wheh
they saw mw eating and out everyday excersising i had a young family and a
great husband but still they thought I was into drugs to have made this
possible I was devistated and it chipped away at my self essteme when my
kids came home from school and would tell my someone elses mum had told
them i must be on drugs to get the weight off I felt like i couldnt win,
well that was 5 years ago. This time will be differant I have decided that
if anyone wants to be ignorant and judgmental and non supportive then I
dont need them there for me. No one would go through all this to their body
unless it was a last resort, you have done the right thing. I would love to
seee some before and after pics some time i bet you look amazing x jodi
— jmo_spitty
January 7, 2008
My dear, YOU know that you are not anorexic. What small minds think of your
newly found small physique should be of no concern to you. Do your
coworkers know that you have had weight loss surgery? If YES, then only the
jealous would start rumors about your being anorexic. If the answer is NO,
then that's OK too. Your private health matters need not be made public
just to stifle some ignorant person. Maybe you need to bring this person's
rumor mongering to the attention of your supervisor. I think it could and
should be considered a harassment issue if it continues unabated.
— [Deactivated Member]
January 7, 2008
congrats.wish i could get down to a size 2.had rny in 2002.started at 287
size 26.got down to 154 size 8 and now 275 and size 12.so enjoy the new you
and ignore.there just jealous.
— deb44m
January 7, 2008
congrats on you weight loss. :) and as for the people who talk around
you... well they really do not know what you have been through so what ever
they say try to ignore that (I know easier said than done) try to vent on
here, because we all know exactly what you have been through. :) I think
that when someone talks like that they really are jelous and do not know
how to handle their own feelings of shame (for lack of a better word) and
their own feelings of how they feel about their own body image.
Keep up the great work and remember, we are eating to live now, not living
to eat :)
God bless you
Paula
— japaad
January 7, 2008
WOW Congratulations!!!! That is AWESOME from a 22 to a 2!!!! I so agree
with everyone else, it sounds to me like they may be jealous. And with it
coming off so fast, I am sure some may even have a hard time getting used
to the new you. But they will in time. I remember when I was skinny (121
lbs till I had my daughter, now 260) people would say "which ones the
bat?" "WOW if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue she
would look like a zipper!" People are rude no matter where you are at
in your weight. But we can rise above it and be happy with ourselves. YOU
DESERVE TO BE PROUD!!!!! You have done a Great Job, so try to ignore them
and they will adjust in time. If it keeps up I agree with the one who said
to talk to your suppervisor about it. Again Congratulations!!!!! I hope
and pray I will be as successful as you have been!
Hugs,
Kim
— Kim M.
January 7, 2008
I know how you feel I too went from a 22/24 to 2/4 in 12 months it has been
3 yrs since my wls and people are still talking about my weight and that
I'm to thin, you can see my bones, blah blah blah.....there just jealous
because i use to be very large like everyone else and now I'm the smallest
person in the office, when they talk about me being to skinny I just smile
but it really hurts because I've worked so hard to get where I'm at and i
have to constanly watch what I eat because it's so easy to revert back to
your old ways
— Lil' Booty
January 7, 2008
J-E-A-L-O-U-S !!! They talk for the same reason people say we took the
"easy" way out! Get real! I tell them, "I risked death for
this" and that shuts them up. LOL!
— MAG
January 7, 2008
Tania, I have learned a long time ago the work place is like a journey
through high school and most of the people we work are superficial. You
will only come across a few that are genuine and sincere. Those are the
people to value and with that said those that are saying that to you are
most likely the ones that snickered and made the jokes behind your back
when you were heavy and now they are very insecure because you are now much
more than they are. Don't let their insecurities become a problem to you.
Enjoy your new you. If the people making the comments had no room in your
life before the new you then they are shallow people who should have no
room in your life now. If they are people who are just generally concerned
just politely tell them that it is really none of their business you are
under doctors care and you know what you are doing. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR
WEIGHT LOSS I am so very happy for you, can't image how much fun it is to
buy all the new clothes and just to have the great health back and to be
able to do the things that you once couldn't do before. God Bless. :)
— iwilllose
January 7, 2008
Congrats on the weight loss and totally ignore those that think you are too
small because you have done fantastic.
I had RNY three and a half years ago and went from a size 26 to a size 2.
I've been a size 2 for over 2 years now and love it. It took a while for
people to get use to the dramatic loss, but gradually they stopped the
remarks and have accepted the new me.
— Belle
January 7, 2008
Hi Tania, I know just how you feel. Size 2 is very small when you were a
22 to begin with, and people just don't know how to shut up about stuff, so
they have to say something. The thing is though Tania, is that you don't
have to let it affect you. You consent to let it hurt you. You have to
take control here in your own life and understand that THEY are ignorant,
and let them be ignorant. What they think and feel is not something you
control. What you do control is what YOU think and feel. You know the
truth about yourself, you know that you are eating right, probably for the
first time in your life, and it feels good. There is a risk of being
anorexic after wls. If you obscess about your weight or size, you will
walk right into that problem. After my first year, I refuse to weigh
myself because I don't want to go there. If my size 4/6 clothes fit, I am
good. If I get bigger than my clothes, I will check my weight. That is
what I do to protect myself from obscessing about weight. You co workers
may or may not mean well. You just eat your food, drink your water and
count your blessings. I know it hurts, but what others think, ignorantly,
always hurts. Forgive them, know the truth, and enjoy your life. We will
always have the ignorant with us, and occasionally, we are the ignorant
ones, so for me, it is easy to forgive. Take care. Patricia P.
— Patricia P
January 7, 2008
If you could see me now giving you a standing ovation on a job well done
you deserve all the credit in the world. Don't you even think about what
they are saying. Have you ever heard of the word JEALOUS. What do you care
what they think you did this for you and know one else.
— campnwego
January 7, 2008
First of all congrats and great job. Second I know how you are feeling I
was the same went from a size 22 to 2. My family tells me I'm to skinny.
Yes they are just jealous because you take control of your life and did
what was best for you.
— Kjackson2
January 8, 2008
I would just offer to tell them your secret so they too can get their
weight under control. Most of the people saying that are overweight and
just jealous. Everyone has something they need to address, and I would
just let them know that I have been under doctors care and never felt
better in my life. just asked them what they are doing about their weight,
marriage, love life or other personal thing they have issues with and they
will back off you real quick. You have to hit some people over the head
with their own medicine.
— William (Bill) wmil
January 8, 2008
One question I wanted to ask you, why didn't you say, something to that co
worker. Even a polite, "Excuse me, I appreciate your concern, but I
really am not anorexic."
Isn't just sad how women can be to one another. They make us feel self
consious when we are fat and then when we lose weight they are jealous and
find fault that way. I think we will battle with this subject as long as we
are not confident in ourselves. And that will take a while I believe. You
surround yourself with positive people that see the hard work you have
done. You stand tall, and remember this is a new life for you and that
others may not understand. But did they understand you when you were
overweight? Probably not. I believe that a person that has never been fat
in their life just can not understand what it is like. What the thoughts
are that we fight with ourselves everyday. How we judge ourselves harder
than any one else.
Love you. That is all you need. They will not ever understand so just let
it go. You are a success, and should be proud of that. Stand tall. Tracy
— Tracy07
January 8, 2008
JEALOUS! JEALOUS! JEALOUS! Congrats to you!! I hit my one-year mark on Dec
27th and have gone from size 28 to size 8-10 and now some people are
telling me I'm getting too thin. WHATEVER!! Congrats to you and congrats
to ALL of us (pre, present, and post ops) we are DOING something and we all
deserve kudos for that!
— airbear762000
January 8, 2008
Congratulations on the weight loss. Are you satisfied with where you are?
Are you at a healthy BMI (not underweight)? If so, then I would try not to
worry about what other people say/do. Easier said than done tho.
If it helps, you might want to think about what your coworker's motivation
is.... it sounds like she is concerned/worried about you. If you feel
comfortable, it might be helpful to approach her and say tell her you
appreciate her concern but that you are definitely not anorexic, just
working hard to lose weight. Does she know you've had WLS? If not, her
worry may be about how fast you lost the weight---most people who just diet
are not able to achieve what you have.
I'm sorry to hear that people are snickering at you. It definitely stinks.
Unfortunately, there is not much we can do about other people's behavior.
Ignore them the best you can.
If you are underweight, this may be something that you want to take up with
your doctor.
Best wishes.
— mrsidknee
January 8, 2008
That has a very simple name: ENVY. I had gastric by-pass on sept 24, 2007
and my initial weight and goal are similar to yours. I would also like
everyone around me envious of my success.
— MargaritaRM
January 8, 2008
Good Golly, Girl! Congrats on the super job! You've done amazing...I'm
hoping that I can follow in yours and many other people's footsteps. You
know, if it's not one thing it's another...You have to just let their
comments go with the wind and keep up the fabulous job! You've obviously
worked hard and you deserve to sit back and look beautiful!
— xxMourningxStarrxx
January 9, 2008
HI,
YOU KNOW THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT
ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, MOSTLY BAD THINGS
THAT'S THE SAD PART, YOU JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, PERHAPS THE TALKERS ARE
HATERS, HATERS ARE GOING TO
HATE ON YOU ANYWAY, JUST KEEP SMILING.
LOVE & HAPPINESS GENA
— mommamai
January 9, 2008
THE HELL WITH THEM DO YOUR THING ENJOY YOUR LIFE YOU ONLY GET ONE, LIVE FOR
U NOT THEM KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!
— aprilbrown
January 10, 2008
Tania: The people on this listserv know that you have worked hard. I bet a
lot of folks have already answered your post. I would think that there are
a number of people around you who are jealous of your weight loss. Some may
not see your efforts as all that hard. You can either educate them or
ignore, especially if you know that they will not change, no matter what
they say. Other than this list, are you a member of any support group? I am
definitely no authority on this (just having had surgery this last Monday),
but I would think that those are the people who can give you honest
feedback and positive encouragement. Once a person explained to me in a
conversation that he wouldn't let what someone else was doing and saying
about him bother him. He said, "Heck, no, I won't let that person rent
space in my head!" Well, I laughed, but that phrase really stuck with
me. When I am feeling that others are not being fair, I remember that I get
to decide whether I am going to dwell on their lack of fairness and/or
justice or not. It is not easy, but sometimes it helps a lot and keeps
things in perspective for me.
Best wishes,
dana
— jujuprof
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