Question:
Has anyone have notice people mad because they lost weight

   — shawniece30 (posted on March 13, 2009)

March 13, 2009
Soemtime it happens. You lose friends who can not handle the changes in you.
   — trible

March 13, 2009
I have noticed other people that I know became jealous to the point they seemed angry, sure... It happens a lot. Even spouses get very uncomfortable as well and their attitude can seem like anger, but it's usually jealousy, fear of losing you because you look good, or you have a new respect for yourself and they don't know how to deal with it...Some friends see you as a threat to husbands and boyfriends...Other friends who didn't lose weight might feel worse about themselves because you did so good and they are still heavy...There are endless reasons...and it does happen!
   — .Anita R.

March 13, 2009
yep my old man did so he just had his surgery 3-3-09
   — oldpepsilady

March 13, 2009
Hey Shawniece, The answer to your question is a great big YES! I have 2 sisters and a niece who don't talk to me anymore. They think I have a problem..LOL A number of one sister's friends have had wls and she has no problems dealing with them. So who knows?! Good luck...Barb
   — babs71958

March 14, 2009
Everyone who answered so far are correct. It springs in part form jealously, insecurity (they don't know how to act around you anymore, what to expect from U) and eveny. But if U stop to consider this, putting the feelings of losing the friendship aside, it really is a compliment...left handed one, but a compliment all the same.
   — chell1957

March 14, 2009
I so far have had one person pull away from me. The hardest part about it is that she actually was the one person who supported me by going through all of the preop classes and appointments with me.
   — Dawn A.

March 14, 2009
I haven't noticed it yet but I do hear to be prepared for relationships with friends and family do change especially with spouses.
   — Corina C

March 14, 2009
I have had that happen a lot. I had my WLS 5 1/2 years ago and have lost 190lbs. I have noticed that strangers treat me better, especially in clothing stores. I have noticed that women give me mean looks when men look at me. Some of my friends that I used to go out with, do not associate with the "fat friend" anymore because she is now smaller than them. I'm not trying to be arrogant by any means, but just being honest with how people treat me. You will get mixed responses from people.
   — jillian807

March 14, 2009
I'm not sure that I've had anyone seem MAD so far, but I have had a few people suddenly get very dismissive of my weight loss. They say things like "well, it must be nice to have taken the EASY way out" or "I just worked out SO HARD...*I* have to work really hard to look the way I do" insinuating *I* don't...and keep in mind that I just had my rny on 1/13/09, so this is probably just the tip of the iceberg. I have considered printing out the thing that people have posted here from time to time, called something like "10 Reasons Why Weight Loss Surgery Is NOT The Easy Way Out" but in all likelihood the people that are willing to make these comments probably wouldn't even read it, or even care! Please try not to take it personally. It's ridiculous for people to get mad about it. I feel that anyone who loves me should be HAPPY that I'm getting healthier. If they aren't, I really have to question if they care about me all that much in the first place. This is all theoretical for me right now, though, as I haven't lost any relationships so far, and I know it's easier to accept in theory than when/if it happens in reality. Good luck!!
   — rachieo

March 14, 2009
Yes. I think a lot of it is displaced anger. I actually believe they don't hate me now, they hated me then, but feel it's OK to release that on me now. I spend a lot of time telling some of these people, "Um, you know I'm still the same person right?" My X told me, "I'm beginning to resent your surgery". He used to ridicule me, laughing and talking about my fat self behind my back. Others who seemed to like me before surgery now tell me how "gross" I used to be or proceed to give me a physical demonstration of how big and round I used to be. I assume its their attempt to degrade me but I usually just say, "Wow. I didn't know you looked at me like that back then...You never said anything to my face. . ." A family member told me (when I came in at 169 this morning): "Bitch". I weigh less than she does now and she spent my entire life telling me how fat I am (was). Embrace it. We all love to hate beautiful people. Let them hate you cuz big or little, it's your inner beauty that's gonna carry you.
   — Ms S.

March 14, 2009
My sister and my brother have always been thin and I've always been the one very overweight. I was always the one that was the apply of my mothers eye and got terrific grades, never got in trouble, etc etc. So, once I do start losing weight, I think it's going to be an issue with them. That is how they could stay "one up" on me. About a year ago my sis was even telling me about a dream she had that I had gotten thin and said that in the dream she was upset as she had always been the "thin and pretty one" and didn't like the change. Jealousy is an ugly thing.
   — Libby R.

March 15, 2009
I guess I have not had this issue at all. I will say that I have a co-worker who had WLS after me. She has been very different since her surgery. It is hard for me to explain, but to be very honest, she is quite stuck on herself. To that end, she is not garnering much positive attention. All she talks about is her weight loss and how often men look at her. I think she is getting used to the attention, but she is anything but humble. I am going to give her some time, then I will kindly point out that maybe SHE is the cause of some negative reaction. I know it is hard to be quiet when you notice a change in yourself. It is how you present to others that is going to make a difference. Humility (even if it is on the outside) goes a long way. D
   — Debbi S.

March 21, 2009
I have noticed strangers treat me differently - better as a normal weight person than when I was obese. As for family and friends - my husband has become a little insecure but not excessively so. Obese co-workers congratulate me and say I look great, but tell me "they are going to lose weight the old-fashioned way". I watch them work to lose 20 or 30 and gain it all back over and over again (just like I used to before surgery). Mostly, people have been supportive. Some people whom I know realize I lost a lot of weight don't say a word. I am not sure if it's out of resentment, or just out of politeness. I too, have a co-worker (like one of the other posts mention here) who had RNY like me and she has become obnoxious... Always making commments about herself - in an annoying way. She has become very conceited. She also does not offer advice or encouragement to other obese co-workers who are considering the surgery. I have had 2 co-workers tell me they appreciate that I behave in the opposite manner... Good question to post!
   — Gina S.

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