Question:
How has WLS affected your quality of life?

I have several questions in one: How has WLS affected your quality of life? What is the most rewarding things that have happened in your life now that you are post op? How do you feel you can "spread the word" to others who are obese or morbidly obese without offending them and have ONLY their health and well-being in mind? Thank you for answering...Bless you all!    — yourdivaness (posted on January 30, 2003)

January 30, 2003
WLS has affected my quality of life for the better in just about every way possible. You are welcome to read my profile to get the whole scoop. I would be hesitant to be a 'missionary' about WLS, because it is so well known now that most MO people know it is out there. I know that if I were still MO, and a stranger walked up to me and suggested I have the surgery I would be VERY offended. If you have a dear friend or family member that you are worried about, that might be different but please remember that morbidly obese folks get widespread ridicule and judgement. My current thinking is that I might tell someone what I have been through, but only if I feel the time is very right. I would never approach an aquaintance to 'preach' wls to them. Good luck, I hope this answers your question.
   — Cara F.

January 30, 2003
hi there! it has effected my life forthe better in many ways as well! the smile has returned on my face! im no longer existing but living again for the first time in years! i fit on amusement rides, i fit behind the wheel of ANY car now! i fit into stylin,trendy,cute,sexy girly girl clothes now! i used to be limited to "which sweats and t shirt should i wear today"? even though im spneding more money on clothes now, im actually saving money because i was actually having to shop in big and tall mens clothing stores and if i wanted a nice shirt, id have to spend atleast 50 just for one, now its so nice to walk into a target or walmart or fashion bug and grab a large, have it fit and not spend a fortune. i love singing ,music is a part of my being but before i would only sing at home because of my weight now im out there singing and life is great!!!!!!!!!!!!i hold my head high, no longer duck my head for fear of eye contact with people! life is beutiful! :)
   — carrie M.

January 30, 2003
Although I am going thyough a bit of an "identity crisisz" at the moment, and shell-shocked over the amount of weight I've lost, the most significant change in just six short weeks has been HEALTH. No more lower back bain. I'm able to walk the mall. It's an unbelievable difference! And my son says I don't snore, either!
   — Denise V.

January 30, 2003
WLS has affected me positively in my quality of life. Mentally and physically, everything has changed 100% for the better. The most rewarding thing is my own "sense" of fitting into society, size wise. That, in turn, positively affects every other single aspect of my life. My body is also functioning now, much like everyone else's.. it's nice to think you are "normal". I however, would never EVER approach someone in person about their size or even if I thought they had my condition of PCOS - whether it was a positive approach or not. I feel it is, was, will always be embarrassing for the person, period. You may THINK you are are doing them a favor, but really you are not. You cannot save everyone! Go ahead and wear your AMOS t-shirt, show your before & afters if asked- but don't do it unsolicitated. Advertise to your hearts content; but don't approach! This is a risky surgery and I would never want to be responsible for suggesting it, and having that person have complications. Besides what if they are HAPPY with themselves? Just like the door-knockers who come to try and change my religious beliefs or sell me something- who are they to solicit me?
   — Karen R.

January 30, 2003
WLS has affected me positively in my quality of life. Mentally and physically, everything has changed 100% for the better. The most rewarding thing is my own "sense" of fitting into society, size wise. That, in turn, positively affects every other single aspect of my life. My body is also functioning now, much like everyone else's.. it's nice to think you are "normal". I however, would never EVER approach someone in person about their size or even if I thought they had my condition of PCOS - whether it was a positive approach or not. I feel it is, was, will always be embarrassing for the person, period. You may THINK you are are doing them a favor, but really you are not. You cannot save everyone! Go ahead and wear your AMOS t-shirt, show your before & afters if asked- but don't do it unsolicitated. Advertise to your hearts content; but don't approach! This is a risky surgery and I would never want to be responsible for suggesting it, and having that person have complications. Besides what if they are HAPPY with themselves? Just like the door-knockers who come to try and change my religious beliefs or sell me something- who are they to solicit me?
   — Karen R.

January 30, 2003
WLS has affected me positively in my quality of life. Mentally and physically, everything has changed 100% for the better. The most rewarding thing is my own "sense" of fitting into society, size wise. That, in turn, positively affects every other single aspect of my life. My body is also functioning now, much like everyone else's.. it's nice to think you are "normal". I however, would never EVER approach someone in person about their size or even if I thought they had my condition of PCOS - whether it was a positive approach or not. I feel it is, was, will always be embarrassing for the person, period. You may THINK you are are doing them a favor, but really you are not. You cannot save everyone! Go ahead and wear your AMOS t-shirt, show your before & afters if asked- but don't do it unsolicitated. Advertise to your hearts content; but don't approach! This is a risky surgery and I would never want to be responsible for suggesting it, and having that person have complications. Besides what if they are HAPPY with themselves? Just like the door-knockers who come to try and change my religious beliefs or sell me something- who are they to solicit me?
   — Karen R.

January 30, 2003
WLS has affected me positively in my quality of life. Mentally and physically, everything has changed 100% for the better. The most rewarding thing is my own "sense" of fitting into society, size wise. That, in turn, positively affects every other single aspect of my life. My body is also functioning now, much like everyone else's.. it's nice to think you are "normal". I however, would never EVER approach someone in person about their size or even if I thought they had my condition of PCOS - whether it was a positive approach or not. I feel it is, was, will always be embarrassing for the person, period. You may THINK you are are doing them a favor, but really you are not. You cannot save everyone! Go ahead and wear your AMOS t-shirt, show your before & afters if asked- but don't do it unsolicitated. Advertise to your hearts content; but don't approach! This is a risky surgery and I would never want to be responsible for suggesting it, and having that person have complications. Besides what if they are HAPPY with themselves? Just like the door-knockers who come to try and change my religious beliefs or sell me something- who are they to solicit me?
   — Karen R.

January 30, 2003
I now HAVE a life. I no longer have joint pain and plantar faciitis. I can walk up the stairs with out gasping for air. I don't need a machine to breath for me at night (my sleep apnea is gone - no more CPAP). I can go grocery shopping and make it around the whole store and not take two days to recover. I can PLAY WITH MY KIDS! and take care of my family. I no longer parent from the couch because I'd be too exhausted to get up. This summer I went horseback riding, canoeing, camping, and to the amusement part. This winter I went SLEDDING for the first time in two decades. I could go no forever. If you want to pass on the word, just be open about your experiance. I don't encourage others to take this step since I know a few people who've had many problems with this surgery and I would not want to be responsible for talking someone into it, and then have it go wrong! But there's nothing wrong w/ sharing your own experience.
   — mom2jtx3

January 30, 2003
WLS has improved my life in so many ways. My plantar fasciitis, which I suffered with for over 6 months, is almost entirely gone. I have normal blood pressure. My GERD is gone. My fibromyalgia is improved. I can work out at the gym for over an hour at a time - I couldn't have worked out for 5 minutes before. I can park far away from stores and not be winded when I get there. I can tie my shoes. I can take care of my personal hygeine easily. I can get out and DO things with my family and friends. I can fly without worrying about having to buy an extra seat. I've spent a lot of time in 12 step groups and one of the most important things I've learned about spreading the word to others is to speak in "I" statements - I think, I feel, I want, I need. When I share with others, I tell them that I made this decision because I wanted to improve my health. I made a choice to live. I never advocate the surgery to another person - I tell them it is a personal choice and that there are a lot of sacrifices in terms of diet and exercise. Whether or not someone decides surgery is the answer, I am always supportive. MO is sometimes like a bad marriage, you have to give it your best try before you walk away. Sometimes people have to have that one last try at diet control before admitting they are helpless over food and need something drastic to change their lives. I try to be there and help however I can no matter what!!
   — JoAnn B.

January 30, 2003
Hadiyah, I asked a similar question a while back about whether people were so happy with their WLS they wanted to approach obese strangers and spread the word. I, of course, had not approached any strangers, but had certainly been tempted. Well, the flood gates opened and overwhelmingly people said NO, do not approach strangers and embarrass them. I'm still tempted on a daily basis when I see obese strangers laboring to breathe and walk, but I refrain. What I do do, though, is look them in the eye and talk to them. So many morbidly obese people on this board have said that while heavy, people ignored them, did not look them in the eye and avoided contact with them. I do the opposite. As for how it has effected the quality of my life, well, now I do have a quality of life. My self-confidence and self-esteem have returned. I no longer hide away in the house, refusing all social invitations. In a nutshell, I am happy.
   — Cindy R.

January 30, 2003
I would have love it if someone would have approached me to tell me about WLS! I didn't even know it existed for regular people, ie not the rich and famous, until I saw John Popper on Behind the Music in May of 2001! AFter I saw that episode I waddled on over to my computer, searched under obesity, and found this great site! The following day I started researching insurance options and began my road to health, happinness and skinnydome (not there yet but closer each day--160 and counting!). I carry around my fat and not so fat photos and show them to anyon that will lok at them! I know the pain of being 408lbs at 5'5"--people, like myself, try to tell themselves that they are happy reagardless of the weight--not true, more lies! It may be embarrassing but it also may open the doors to a better life!
   — jenn2002

January 30, 2003
I was approached by an acquaintance because she was so excited about what she would be doing soon (WLS) and at first I was slightly offended. But, 4 months later, I had the surgery myself! This episode happended May 2002 and at that point, I didn't realize that WLS was available to the average person. But, I would advise against going up to strangers. Here's why. I have lost 65 pounds since my surgery October 2002. I still have about 120 more to lose. Can you imagine how I'd feel if some stranger came up to me and suggested surgery! There goes my bubble about having lost 65 pounds. I know I am still overweight, but I've had the surgery already and don't want to be reminded that I still look fat. This could happen if someone has lost a lot of weight through other methods, too. They might be already on a roll with dieting that you don't know about and really hurt their feelings. Congratulations on your success!
   — Yolanda J.

January 30, 2003
The day of surgery I weighed 137 lbs. and wore the biggest size in the stores (28/30); My knees, feet, and back always hurt; I had shortness of breath when I walked even the shortest distances;I had to use two chairs to sit in class(I was an adult student attending college); I could not fit in restauraunt booths, on amusement park rides, nor in airplane seats; I did not do my hair, put on makeup, nor did I EVER look in the mirror; I would not leave the house unless necessary due to the constant taunts and laughter directed at my large body...needless to say my self-esteem was in the toilet. I had sleep-apnea, high blood pressure, and worried that any day(even at the age of 35) I would have a heart attack, as my father had(he died at 51 due to obese related health issues). Now, 2.5 years later, I fluctuate between 195-205 lbs., wear a size 16/18, I have no problems with my feet, knees, or back; I can walk without being out of breath, I do not have high blood pressure nor sleep apnea; I wear make-up, do my hair, wear jewelry, go shopping in "normal" stores, and feel "normal" walking down the street. I have recently had a tummy tuck to remove extra skin, and for the first time in my life I do not have a stomach that enters a room before the rest of me. I have met, and live with, the most wonderful man, whom I met at 1.5 years post-op, and who is so supportive of my past surgery. I have attended, and will soon graduate from, graduate school(I never would have attended graduate school without having had this surgery). I would not change a single thing about having had this surgery, and I would do it again in a second!!!It has changed my life and my future outlook. In regard of how to spread the word to other's...I do not believe we can, nor should, push our views on others. I will honestly share my experience with someone if they ask; I will answer questions and give the best information based from my own experience, but I would never ever tell someone out of the blue about my surgery, hoping to convince them to make this kind of change. This is a total life changing event, and it takes alot of work and adjustment along the way. Only that person can change and direct the direction of their lives. No-one can make them change....
   — twenc

January 30, 2003
Okay i guess i am going to be the oddball here and say if you want to talk to strangers hoeny you go right ahead sure some one might tellyou tto get lost but if you feel it is somethign you need to do then do it. If a total stranger had nto approached me in walmart and ask me the very simple question of "i know its none of my business and you can tell me to get lost but have you ever heard of Baratric surgery?" I would still be 366 pounds of misery. That conversation with that stranger changed my life forever. She talked to me about her surgery and her exsperiances. I went home and started researchint the surgery that was about 7 months ago 4 months ago i had a distal RNY and am down 90 pounds. I can now wear real button and zip jeans, i can walk door to door girl scout cookie selling wiht my oldest, i can chase my son around playing the tickle monster and i can pack my youngest child with out fear of my knees ad back colapsing. I thank god everyday that he sent that woman in walmart to me. If you want to read more about that meeting i have it in my profile. GOOD LUCK
   — Becky M.

January 30, 2003
God bless you Cindy for making eye contact and talking with them! How I hungered for someone to look me in the eyes and acknowledged I was "still human" and worthy of notice. As far as WLS and a quality of life, yes it has improved it somewhat. I can whipe my butt, don't sweat all the time, can breath better, no more acid reflux or sleep apnea and some other benifits. But it has also lowered some things too. My arthritus is spreading like a cancer, blood pressure is to low, nutricianal and vitamin problems, osteropersois now, occasional SEVERE gallbladder like attacks that can't be traced down as to what is causing it, lightheadedness, and my depression is worse. Yes it has increased my quality, yet in other ways no! I'm NOT sorry I had WLS, yet I fulley expected to have surgery problems (strictures, hernias and such) not these problems I am having now. Yes, I'd still do it again, but it does'nt help that no one can find out why I'm having these severe abdominal pains (gallbladder is out). They way those pains are I would'nt be surprised if I get on the memorial page someday. They are that bad when they hit. Yes the quality is better,... yet it isn't.
   — Danmark

January 31, 2003
My Dr. who I had a long term pt/dr relationship first approached me about the surgery and I was SO PISSED OFF. But it got me thinking. and I had surgery about 7 months after that, I also made a point of going in and thanking her for her nerve in taking the risk of offending me and saving my life.
   — **willow**

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